How would you make your sub cum

How would you make your sub cum

NeverSayyNo​(switch female){Nope} • Nov 10, 2020

You've got a dom that wants very much to be a sub. She's NEVER had an orgasm before..how do think you could make her cum.?

Not Here For Games​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

Have you ever considered openly talking to your partner about your needs and issues,in the hope that he/she may acknowledge them,and make you cum? Only wondering, no offence,thank you...

NeverSayyNo​(switch female){Nope} • Nov 10, 2020

None taken and I have... She can't be what she's not. And im ok with that..

Not Here For Games​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

So,have you tried,dominating her,in subtle ways,within her limits,so you could both enjoy the sex,and hopefully make you cum?

TheWhorelock​(dom male) • Nov 10, 2020

My general thought would be blindfold and bondage, with teasing back and forth between intense and light stimulation for like, an hour or two. Help her let go, and just feel.

Aria Quinn​(sub female){collared} • Nov 11, 2020

It’s is my opinion that in order for someone else to be able to make you cum you must first be able to make yourself cum. Finding out out what feels good, and also being venerable enough to allow such a release would probably be better accomplished as a solo activity the first few time then it’s easier to bring in a trusted partner. And don’t forget the difference between being a sub and bottoming, she may not be a sub but that doesn’t mean she can’t bottom for you if mutually desired.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 11, 2020

That and have her not try to think about it so much. Orgasms aren't automatic and overthinking it... or thinking about other stuff while playing totally kills the mood. As for a dom who wants to be a sub.. Something they will need to address. While switching is common, it happens easier for some than others, but so long as there is a yearning to cross the street, well, it can distract from the fine art of sexual stimulation.

ADIDAS • Nov 11, 2020

I completely agree Ms. Aria Quinn. In order for someone else to bring you to the point of orgasm, you have to know your own body better than anyone else. You need to know how to pleasure yourself. Can you bring yourself to orgasm?

TheWhorelock​(dom male) • Nov 11, 2020

I’m gonna disagree slightly here. I think that it’s best practice to get to know yourself like this, but I’ve absolutely seen women who were anorgasmic cum for the first time with a partner. In scene too.

Actually an instance of this is what I was talking about in my last post; a friend of mine had the opportunity to be dominated by a highly accomplished Master down in LA, and unbeknownst to anyone but her she’d never had an orgasm before. After playing with her for nearly 2 hours she had a massive shatteringly powerful orgasm. The next day she told us all it was her first. She was glowing and it was one of the most gorgeous things I’ve ever witnessed.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Nov 11, 2020

i find this a vast topic, but i'll try not to be too 'vast' in my response lol (thank you for your indulgence). Some of my thoughts.

i'm a gay total bottom with some sub who was also married to a woman for 31 years (wrong relgious culture for me lol) and 'played' the role of a top. So i have experience and a lot of time and energy spent looking at and experiencing this sort of stuff.

It wasn't till after i was married that is was able to understand and articulate that i wanted and needed much of the same things my former wife needed and wanted (she too was a bottom with some sub). i am still fascinated by how some things can cross assumed gender barriers, and i am neither 'fem' nor a trans person, i'm a guy who needs to be penetrated. And that need is so much more than physical.

One of the things i learned married to a woman was, in many respects, she did not need me to make her orgasm. She could climb on top and totally control the fuck to where it was hitting all her right spots. Iow, she could assume the role of a "top' who takes the responsibility for both her and her bottoms orgasm. i learned early on in our marriage to control my orgasm and can count on one hand the number of times i came before her, and we had sex easily 5x a week or more, so 'premature' ejaculation was not an issue (so to speak). But that didn't really matter, because she was a bottom with quite a bit of sub in her, and what she needed was a Top with some dom in him... and i was neither. All of this is retrospective insight, neither of us understood at the time, we were simply incompatible. Well, maybe complexly incompatible.

All that to say, i think it takes compatibility to give a full orgasm... and by that, i mean an emotional and mental orgasm to go along with the physical. i was really good at giving my former wife orgasms, to the point she'd beg me to stop at times because there were too many. But, i understand now, that those were all physical orgasms. After a point, she began to express the desire (need?) for me to "just take her" without any regard to whether she came or not. And to me, that is a sort of central difference between Top/bottom, D/s. As i understand it, part of (central too?) a Top/Doms need/desire is to control, and part of a bottom/subs need/desire is to be under their Top/Doms control. For me, this especially applies to orgasm because i am primarily a sexual bottom/sub, though it overlaps into other parts of my life.

That, to me, is foundational to your question. i cannot figure out from your profile or your question where you are on 'the spectrum.' You seem 'versatile' or 'switch,' but i am only speculating. If you are, that to me is one of the more challenging dispositions (but thats because i am total bottom lol). i usually won't even hook with a versatile guy, and would most likely not consider a exclusive relationship with anyone but a total Top.

The challenge i see for a versatile person, one who can be truly dom or sub is timing. If you can truly be one or the other (i.e., it is not "role play," but how you actually are at that time). When you are in sub mode, i believe you NEED a dom. i'm gonna go a step further and speculate that you need a relational dom, not just an occasional or hook up dom. i say that because you strike me as someone who needs to be intensely emotionally engaged to have an orgasm. For me, i can make my body have an orgasm, but withot a connection to a Top/Dom, it is a 'ruined' orgasm for me, it leaves me physically spent and emotionally 'horny' and in need of connection with a Top/Dom. i think if you are in sub mode, you need a Dom to surface submission in you.

i also wonder (again, pure speculation here) that you may be more sub than you realize? That maybe "dom" is a role that you have assumed and played for so long that you are functionally dom, but not emotionally dom? If this is the case, i think if you had an understanding (and probably experienced) Dom who 'sees' you, they would be able to surface the sub in you as well as control your orgasm.