I'm the sub yet he tries to please me in every way

I'm the sub yet he tries to please me in every way

Low{BLK OWND} • Dec 6, 2020

Just curious about this. He's just so good to me
After this morning I'm in subspace in a big way
Any Doms or anyone really. He treats me so well very rarely harsh if ever and nothing is done if I don't enjoy it.
I have to admit I'm a good sub
I'm I just lucky or is this a sign of a really good Dom
It really seems like my pleasure is his pleasure
Well just wondering what anyone thinks

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Dec 6, 2020

Sounds like a really good Dominant. Each dynamic is unique and different. It all depends upon those within the relationship and what their needs are. As a Dominant, he may desire (even need) to be a caring, loving individual.

When you really adore and respect your O/other, then you desire to please them, regardless of the side of the slash. That doesn’t mean when a Sadistic Dominant flogs his/her Masochistic submissive they aren’t a good Dominant. It means they are giving to the relationship what the other desires. So if you desire caring, loving Dominance and he is providing that to you, and you are being a loving submissive, then you two are in a really good dynamic because each of you is getting what you desire.

Sounds nice!

MidlifeMan​(dom male) • Dec 6, 2020

All D/s, M/s or even Vanilla relationships work better when both partners want to do what it takes to make the other happy and fulfilled. I think it is a sign of a good Dom that you feel so happy, I would guess you do all you can to please your Dom, so its a win win situation. I know I try to please my submissive in all ways.

Tthomas • Dec 6, 2020

His love for you is overriding his Dominance. That could be a Great thing, a good thing or a bad thing. That’s totally up to you. What do you want more to be at the forefront of your dynamics? His love or his Dominance? If this is bothering you that much you need to talk to him. I was talking to a submissive just yesterday about how most Doms will not show their emotional side because it will make them think they are weak.

Good luck with this.

I like both

Low{BLK OWND} • Dec 6, 2020

His Dom side and his loving side
Its a total thrill

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 6, 2020

The long term relationships I have been in were with men who were really good to me and real gentlemen. It is a blessing and his love for you (and you for him) is rare.

So why do you ask? Do you wish him to be more harsh.

MountaintopMaster • Dec 6, 2020

This is very well-put. It is what you make of it! If what you want is for him to love you and satisfy you, but also simply be "the one in charge", then perfect! You found a partner who really matches you, and that's not always the case.

Some submissives truly do want to feel darker, more scary things. If you read some of the profiles around here, you'll see people talking about pushing their limits, and sometimes pushing past them when they feel they deeply trust their Dom. Everybody's different.

That doesn't have to be you, if that's not who you are at your core. You don't need to prove anything to anybody, not yourself nor your Dom or anyone else.

If your ideal enjoyment of being dominated is simply feeling his powerful energy during sex, then keep doing that!

If you're curious to experience just a tiny bit more pain, or something else just a liiiittle bit more scary, then discuss it with your Dom, and see how you both feel about it. Try acting it out in words or spoken form first, before doing it in reality.

When dominant, I, too, still want to be lovingly passionate. I like to be strong & powerful and get what I want, but I also desperately need my submissive to be aroused and satisfied by the experience, too. Otherwise, why would she want to keep submitting?

So, yes, it is possible and perfectly fine to have a relationship where the love and care is just as strong as the dominance and submission. It's a beautiful thing! It's not for everybody, but if it feels right for you, then damn, hang on to this one, make them overwhelmingly satisfied, ...and they'll do the same for you!

Low{BLK OWND} • Dec 6, 2020

[quote="SubtleHush"]The long term relationships I have been in were with men who were really good to me and real gentlemen. It is a blessing and his love for you (and you for him) is rare.

So why do you ask? Do you wish him to be more harsh.[/quote
I believe I ask because he is my 1st and only Dom and what I thought it could have been like from things in stories media websites etc somewhat created a different picture than what I'm experiencing in reality]

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Dec 7, 2020

Low: "I believe I ask because he is my 1st and only Dom and what I thought it could have been like from things in stories media websites etc somewhat created a different picture than what I'm experiencing in reality"

It always is different. Fantasy is just that. Few of us can keep up with too good to be true impressions. There are some good non-fiction books out there. A simple BDSM search on Amazon will give you pages of options. But do avoid the fantasy.

So look at what attracted you to this and speak with him about it. It is hard to find a good fit when you are not experienced. It sounds as though you are not happy. If that is the case, he needs to know. Not telling him is going to leave you questioning and it isn't fair to your partner.

What strangers on the net need, want or experience will be as broad and varied as they are themselves. Some want brutal treatment. Some short term. Others want love, passion, BDSM, and a strong Dominant leader. That is what I seek for the long term.

So perhaps give it some thought and list what you were hoping for, if you didn't when you started with him, then have a kind but honest talk.

Bunnie • Dec 7, 2020

It sounds like a good match. To be honest, he wouldn’t necessarily be my type... so I stay away from “good Dom, bad Dom.” But it sounds like your compatibility is spot on. Awesome