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Books to Introduce her to FLR

Sweetworshipper​(sub male)
3 years ago • Dec 29, 2020

Books to Introduce her to FLR

Sweetworshipper​(sub male) • Dec 29, 2020
Hello Everyone,

I would like to ask if anyone would have any book to recommend that could be helpful to introduce a woman to FLR without scaring her.

So far I have been reading “Finding love through female domination” by Renee Lane, which was very nice to read but definitely too extreme for the purpose.

Then “Uniquely Rika” which is very nice to read, especially as it talk from a Domme prospective, and it make to seems D/s relationship as something quite normal and not too weird, but I am a little against her concept of seeing most of the kinky things as a gift from the Dominant to the submissive.

Anyone have any suggestion?
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz}
3 years ago • Dec 29, 2020
I have a suggestion, don't use any books and use your own words. Your own expression. your own passion. Voice your desires, needs and wants. You know YOU better than one else. you know your partner better than anyone else (or should, if don't, fix it).

You know you, better than a book that written to appeal the masses and written to allow your conscious to feel good.
Lets face it and cut to the chase, Books are written profit.
More often than not the "author" isn't even female. The content is always slanted to your desires and very little to do with hers..WHY? because that is what sells. Its snake oil of hopes and dreams. That is what you wish to hear. You don't want to hear "I'm sorry but there is no easy to get what you want, other than opening your mouth and letting the words come out" (that wouldn't sell to well would it) I get it, I really do, you don't want to stuff it up, its important to you. I talk with men day in and day out that what some magic formula. Some trick or hint that can help them build there own Domme.....but in truth you can lead a woman to kink but you cannot make her partake. You might be able to awaken the Domme inside her but you cannot instill that dominance, if its not present. I wish it was possible but it is not.

Try FIRST trying to explain you to her, without expecting her to follow you (do you even understand you?). The idea is to introduce them to FemDom, not indoctrinate them by using someone else words. There is no pied piper when it comes to books, you cant built it and she will come, oh wait thats a movie!.

You will still need to do all the hard work by actually having that conversation. I know a book sounds so easy. in your mind you just hand it over and in few hours "bing Instra DIY Domme and she will be enlightened to the ways" but in truth more often than it leads to her crying on her pillow wondering why she isn't enough or wondering what else you haven't told her! Then some other woman having to pick up the pieces. This then more often than not leads to her doing what I call "playing for peace" this action rarely has much to do with her actually enjoying the process and is more about..I can do what he needs to keep him. More often than not ending in a flaming burn out or you TFTB'ing to get your needs met. Congratulations you and you book just built a service top, the reverse of what you want! Additionally not often do men get a chance to re start after a flame out.

do yourself a favor. Start with building emotional intimacy. Then build a great and open sex life where you can talk any thing and every fantasy you have.... Then add Femdom to it by natural progression. Blending her world and yours. It will not be the dream in your head but it is will be close. For Femdom (or any BDSM) to work you need solid ground, no book will do it for you if she isn't hard wired to BDSM. women are clever they often don't need a book telling they have a fetish. If she hasn't found she has a fetish by adulthood, chances are she wont and is what we term "vanilla" ...or are you labeling her that because her "kinks" are possibly different to yours (think about it)

additionally I'm confuzzled. I'm not judging or shaming. I ask because it could change how i answer and to be honest the devil is in the details. Your asking about books to use to introduce like you have a partner.....but yet your profile reads like a wanted advertisement? complete witha list of requirements! So you are married? but if you met the "right" other person that is into kink, the partner is gone? or am I reading that VERY wrong? So is the profile your "back up plan"
Again not judging. I'm a kinkster myself I do understand the drive..and well...we all have to make our own very grown up decisions. I say this because even if the woman is "kinked and fetish..ist up to the eye balls, your STILL going to have, to have THAT conversation! the crux of the matter never goes away.

also think about why you think you need a book? For most the answer is "I fear rejection" what we all need to remember more. rejection of Kinks is often not a rejection of ourselves.

I'm going to stop here as it touched a nerve with me after spending yet again another day with a wife that got a pile of "books and links" dumped on her. Leaving someone else to have that conversation with her.
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Sweetworshipper​(sub male)
3 years ago • Dec 29, 2020
Sweetworshipper​(sub male) • Dec 29, 2020
Thank you Miss Bonnie for your reply,

I think what you give me is a very great advice. I actually spoke with my own words about it to her, but at the same times I feel she need to build more awareness of the power she can have, and by me talking to her about Femdom, it just sounds like I am topping from the bottom, it's like I would give her all the ideas that I wish she can put in action to please me, while of course she should instead just do what satisfy her. I also feeling by talking about kinky stuff, I can scare her, and I think a well written book may let feel to her that type of activity more normal and acceptable.

Regarding your question about my profile, well I am currently single and still looking for a partner. She is a woman I met few years ago, we are currently not in a relationship and I am just trying to support her to explore more about this lifestyle. In case things may change with her in future I will update my profile, but as I said I am currently a single man.
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz}
3 years ago • Dec 29, 2020
Thanks for explaining and understanding I wasn't out to get you but more trying to help. I'm on my cell and hate replying on it but have looked at the book when someone you love is kinky. It won't so much influence her but will help her understand where you are coming from. Look it up it might help.