Right or wrong

Right or wrong

Voldemort​(dom male) • Dec 29, 2020

Friends. A few weeks ago I was in the chat room. I was talking to friends i had met that day itself when I came across one of the most presumptuous comments I have ever seen.
" I'm a Dom so I can do what I want."
I could not believe my eyes. No dude. You can't do what you want. The others in the chat are people too and just because you are a Dom you can't look down your nose at them. One has to accept when he or she did something wrong. And have the grace to admit it.

Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 31, 2020

I stay the hell out of the chat room, so I don't have the "real-time" pulse of the General Population in here, but that remark of his is neither right nor wrong in my book. May sound presumptuous, but out of whatever context it may have appeared in, I can't weigh it on that particular scale.

He could have been talking about his overall perspective on life and in that event I'd say he would be in for a surprise or two along the road of life, but if he happened to be talking about "the bedroom" dungeon or whatever and how he plays, well, I won't fault him for feeling that way but of course when doing a sub he would have to observe limits like all the rest of them, otherwise he's find himself devoid of subs in his life. He was probably just puffing his likely hairy chest and eliciting reactions.

MountaintopMaster • Dec 31, 2020

That sounds like sarcasm wrapped around a small kernel of truth.

Part of "domination" is, of course, total control. If you foresee a situation in which you won't be able to "do what you want", then you work to change the circumstances so that you are able to "do what you want".

Doing whatever you want could be seen as, forcing yourself upon someone without their consent, or just being an asshole in life in general, because you're a Dom so you get to do whatever you want. There are certainly people like that, however, there is also a much more respectful, responsible way to go about doing/getting whatever you want, too. This could mean anything from finding a submissive who actually gets off on letting you do whatever you want, or it could mean simply working very hard to achieve all your goals, through respectable things like general self-discipline, and working hard earning a very good living so that you have lots of free time and $$ to invest in your D/s lifestyle.

Chances are, someone who says that particular thing is not entirely the latter, respectful version of getting everything you want. They're probably alluding to that, but may also be veiling their own disrespect in an obvious shroud of sarcasm.

The best thing to do is to either ignore such statements, or say, "no, that's not true" ...and then ignoring...

The chat room is generally good people, BTW. Just a place to drop by and help crack any social anxiety issues we might have, in my experience!

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 1, 2021

I'm sure the chat rooms are populated with many good people, but I'm a bad girl. (JK. I just hate chatting)

As for that guy thinking he can do what he wants, well, one need not be a dominant to feel that way.


Take a bowl of human nature, add a generous dollop of dollars and voilaI Instant self-proclaimed Superman or Wonder Woman.

(Sadly in reality, down to the core they wind up being Stupor Man or Blunder Woman)

Voldemort​(dom male) • Jan 1, 2021

It wasn't such a situation at all. When someone made a remark to him concerning his behavior he came out with that line.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 1, 2021

OK

Well as I said, I stay the hell out of chat boxes so I do not know the context of that remark.

However as to another post, it's not just dominants, it's human nature. Substitute $$$ with any sort of power and/or influence and you get people who think they shit ice cream. It's just that some are simply more willing to talk out of their asses than others.

I wrote all that because while some dominants might as well pull their pants down and walk backwards, they ought not be painted with a broad brush. Some know the role well and execute effectively, others unfortunately see it as an ego trip.

Many subs are well-equipped with faults as well. I know I am and I ain't a "real" sub (as defined in some circles) But as a person I have chinks in the armor like every other human.

Voldemort​(dom male) • Jan 1, 2021

But i believe that when you're socializing you should maintain utmost courtesy.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 1, 2021

Of course, alas not everyone sees it that way, and not just dominants, that was all I wanted to add.
When one meets someone who wants to be a tool, well one can advise them that they're being ridiculous, and if they persist, ignore them. I do, anyway.

Voldemort​(dom male) • Jan 1, 2021

That's it.