Mind fuck

Mind fuck

TheEdge​(other male) • Oct 16, 2017

While the concept appeals to me and a lot of people I find myself facing an issue.
The first time someone did that to me I almost came in my pants. She got me high and low messed with my head and hired a cat that ate my tongue. I was uncertain I was helpless I couldn’t think I hated what I was going through and loooved it at the same time I just knew I didn’t want it to end. She was making a vase and I was her clay.
Fast forward to now.
I find my brain more resistant to a point that when someone tries to mind fuck me my brain is like “okay what else is new”.
And there is always someone who says “well you haven’t been mind fuck by me” And challenges me but it’s just not the same.
It’s like doin a drug and chasing the first high.
I like not knowing I like being taken off guard and surprised. When I know what’s about to happen I lose 80% of the interest and excitement.
Could it be my ridicously high expectation?’
Or it’s one of those “ how many times can you watch a same movie over and over again”?
Got any advice?

Tessallia​(sub male) • Oct 17, 2017

I don't have any personal experience but the topic is highly appealing so I have done a lot of reading. Its sounds like you might just need to find someone very creative to get to know you very well and know your expectations. If you expect something in a mind fuck it doesn't work like you're talking about. Have your partner do some research into psychology (if they haven't and if they have it can never hurt to do some more reading. I hope this helps but like I said this is just based on what I read so I'm not sure how much help it will be.

TheEdge​(other male) • Oct 17, 2017

Thanks for you input Tessallia I really appreciate it.that actually gave me some good point of views.

Tessallia​(sub male) • Oct 17, 2017

Good to hear

Villanelle​(staff) • Oct 17, 2017

In my experience part of what subs experience after a heavy duty mind fuck or humiliation is a heavy duty (and usually quickly dissipating ) dose of self loathing. Sometimes that feeling can transfer to the dominant, even if only for a time. Subs, ever find yourself experiencing a flash of anger towards your dominant after a particularly heavy scene? That.

The first time doing anything is a unique experience, but in my estimation, not the best. Mind fucks, like any type of BDSM play become more intricate and intense the better you and your partner know each other. She gets in to your nooks and crannies so to speak, in a way an acquaintance never can. Isn't it terrifying to know that every story, every anecdote, every memory shared could be potential ammunition in that particular intoxicating dance? I think so

But to get back to what I mentioned above about self loathing...it might not be something you think you ever experience on first consideration, but you may want to take a moment and examine the possibility a bit more deeply. And then ask yourself if your (slightly) condescending attitude about whether or not a dominant can deliver an effective mind fuck has something to do with a redirection of that feeling.

I'll take off my pop psych hat now

Bunnie • Oct 17, 2017

I’ve come to realise that each Dom I’ve known did it differently, they all had their own unique ways, some worked for me better than others yes, but I’ve benefited from them all in one way or another. Maybe instead of looking at it as experiencing/expecting one particular version of mind fuckery, you could get to know the Domme and see where they take you with their version. You may go places you hadn’t imagined possible.

TheEdge​(other male) • Oct 17, 2017

Hmmmm ?...
Very interesting topic up there about self loathing and the anger towards the Dominant I’m having a conference in my head as I write this.
Honestly
I think I’m afraid.
Afraid of loosing the possibility. Afraid that those ammunition’s are going to be less and less effective.
For example : I was fat in school and everyone would mock and say shit that they say in school. At first I would bother me so much. But as soon as I stoped resisting and accepting the fact that I WAS FAT and started to go with the flow and in answer I would say stuff like “if you have good tool you gotta build a good shed over it”
What I’m trying to say is after awhile I got used to hearing those words they didn’t bother me as much and I’m afraid it’s gonna happen again.

I do not want to loose the possibility of getting mind fuck I don’t want to get used to it.

TheEdge​(other male) • Oct 17, 2017

Thank you Bunnie. You are absolutely right. Everyone does it differently.

Bunnie • Oct 17, 2017

I guess my point was not so much that everyone does it differently... more that your frame of mind can change your experiences. Maybe try letting go of how you expect it should be and let them do their thing. I think we can easily fall into the trap of not wiping our slate clean before we enter into a new dynamic, and it creates a struggle because you can’t see each other clearly through the build up of old stuff. It’s all to do with your mind... pushing it, pulling it, twisting it, altering it. What I guess I’m suggesting is learning to reset your mind so that you can have new experiences over and over again. I don’t know if that makes sense lol, but I can’t explain it any better.

TheEdge​(other male) • Oct 17, 2017

This is great. I love talking about different issues and topics here and hear everything everyone has to say. I’ve been thinking about all this for the past hour or so. An other possibility comes to my mind that I might be doing consciously or subconsciously and that is creating a defense mechanism.
I think I’ve gone from letting myself to be vulnerable to defend myself against it.
...
Still thinking about this intensely.
Please keep the comments coming and let me know what you think.it helps a lot.