24/7 now I think

24/7 now I think

Rosesub{Under cons} • Mar 16, 2021

My D/s relationship began as only in the bedroom and I was instantly his sub without much discussion. After a short period of time it wasn't just in the bedroom and he began to have me outside of the bedroom as he pleased. It wasn't fully discussed but with time I found myself doing acts of much service all of the time, 24/7 and making every meal, serving him, cleaning it up, doing his laundry and bringing it to him. I want to feel like an empowered, free woman but I very much bow down to my man. Is this going to be sustainable and healthy? I do get joy from his approval and praise of me.

SirBuck​(dom male) • Mar 16, 2021

I personally am HUGE on communication. So the part about "instantly his sub without much discussion" gives me pause as it may be a sign of sub/dom frenzy. Along with the progression of it to 24/7 without fully discussing it.
Personally, I would want to have a conversation of how my sub is feeling with the increased control.
However, I understand that not everyone wants or even likes EVERYTHING being talked through the same way I do.

As far as the empowered, free woman. I would say that as long as you are choosing to submit, you're still empowered and free, as you can take away that submission at any time.

Sustainable and healthy. As long as you are being respected by him with all of this, it's not sounding necessarily UN-healthy. If you're worried about it, maybe just have a conversation about it, seeing if he plans on keeping at this level, or raising/lowering the level of control over time. I also assume you both have set up limits and safe words at the start of the dynamic.

These are of course just my thoughts on it, anyone can feel free to disagree. And if you'd like to talk 1 on 1 about it, feel free to send me a message.

-Buck

House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 16, 2021

If you dont feel empowered through your acts of servitude there are ways of gaining it outside of D/s, but within it becomes questionable of how you might get it by what you enjoy

L a r s​(dom male) • Mar 16, 2021

Not everything is communicated verbally. Over time, the subtle cues the two of you gave each other likely cued yall in that things could progress. That's not me saying that it happened perfectly, and that you shouldn't retroactively go back and discuss any boundaries/concerns.

As for the rest of your post...you probably feel more like yourself than you have for much of your life. Highly agreeable folks who show love through service are not exactly uncommon, but in the west there is kind of a stigma against them. We tend to focus sooooo much on independence, that even voluntary submission has a negative connotation. I wouldn't be surprised if that had affected you.

I wonder if this post is you looking for permission to be a very agreeable, submissive, service oriented person. You have it.

That said, please understand that healthy communication and boundaries are NOT disrespectful, not rebellious, and something that a mature dom should appreciate. Personally, I would recommend retroactively discussing these updates with your dom, but it does honestly seem like you want this. Wish yall well

Rosesub{Under cons} • Mar 17, 2021

Lars,
I will communicate this as you suggested. It is something I want and desire and it having happened naturally I feel like I am playing catch up. Doe other subs feel this way, that they fell into a rabbit hole without knowing it but find extreme pleasure in it now? I am only no researching BSSM and D/s and wow we are spot on. I am more of a 24/7 than I ever imagined I would be. I find such desire to please him and he says this is everything he wants. Ifeel adored, respected and protected. Protection is what I most seek and guidance. Is it a burden for D's to have to guide us so much? I don't want to wear this out. I truly hope it is sustainable.

L a r s​(dom male) • Mar 17, 2021

Is it a burden for you to give? Obviously, if you constantly kept serving, it would wear you down into a fine paste eventually. But because of the connection, he energizes you enough to keep you rejuvinated.
I imagine he feels largely the same way. It's not something he can do thoughtlessly or without effort, but it's more than worth the work.

neutrinozero • Mar 17, 2021

It sounds like you are naturally good at caretaking and serving. It is rewarding in many settings. It can get overwhelming at times, and serving can often be taken for granted, but your Dom will probably notice when you aren't there or take too long of a break. Everyone is different in their recognition of the people who serve them. He clearly trusts you, which seems like a good thing.

SinMaster • Mar 17, 2021

I might repeat what others have said but then maybe it’s important for me to repeat things.
I put communication at or near the top of my concerns list.
Without it the two of you are to think you’re standing in the middle of a Texas tornado and not getting anywhere.
In the beginning of a relationship I have a date/talk night and we go over the past week the good and not so good.
For a time it once a week to then two and get farther apart until we stop but keep talking it will always be needed.