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How to take orders

Rosesub{Under cons}
3 years ago • Mar 17, 2021

How to take orders

Rosesub{Under cons} • Mar 17, 2021
How best to take orders. I am fairly new to this and I don't always take orders well. I don't believe I am a brat, I just think I'm learning.
How do I suggest a small punishment may be in order? I think I may like that.
-Rose
MisterWolf​(dom male)
3 years ago • Mar 17, 2021
MisterWolf​(dom male) • Mar 17, 2021
Hello,

Like most things in BDSM it starts with communication. Start with discussing what orders the Dom/Domme wants to give, ensure it is within your limits, start small and build up - so you have a level of trust in them and they have confidence you will carry out their orders.

BTW - I think being a brat or acting bratty is not a bad thing and some people actievly seek them out.

How do you suggest punishments or funishments as some call them - communication, communication and more communication. Again start small and build up. There is a big difference between being put over a knee and spanked for an infraction to a severe flogging or caning.

Lastly try to get into a submissive headspace. Research what it means to be submissive, what it means to you. Being a Dom with a sub for me is quite visceral and intense. What does it feel like for you? Knowing what you are and how it makes you feel will go along way to help you take orders and follow them through.

Hope this helps.
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Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott}
3 years ago • Mar 17, 2021
I’ll echo MisterWolf -

Communication all the way.

There’s the consideration of how you submit. While people refer to submissives and slaves (plus many other identifiers - I’m just choosing 2 as an example). There is no given definition of what fits for each role and for each person.

My partner identifies as submissive - rather than anything else. If I ordered her to clean my shoes - she would give me a very strange look and question if that was really something I expected/wanted. On the other side, when I tell her to be waiting on her knees for when I enter the room - there’s not a momentary thought.

So, why I’m trying to say is it may not the being given direction (I prefer that to orders) that you bristle against, but the fact that they don’t fit with your needs/desires. This can only be adjusted by discussion and understanding.

While the Brat label comes with many connotations (both good and bad) - it may not be that at all. Or indeed it may be that you feel (consciously or unconsciously) that your submission needs to be earned.

Or it may simply be that actually you enjoy the act of being punished - again - everyone reacts and works in their own way.

Time, exploration and communication are the only ways to find out.

Please note - just my musings and ideas - other will think differently.
nuli​(sub female){Unkolared}
3 years ago • Mar 17, 2021

Re: How to take orders

Rosesub wrote:
How best to take orders. I am fairly new to this and I don't always take orders well. I don't believe I am a brat, I just think I'm learning.
How do I suggest a small punishment may be in order? I think I may like that.
-Rose


like everyone has said talking is the way to go. The fact that you feel the need to suggest a small punishment...and enjoy in the same sentence is very telling. First if i were to ever suggest a punishment to my Owner he would def. put me on ignore for A. topping from the bottom B. because you aren't suppose to enjoy being punished.

It all falls back to talking things out and working out what fits your relationship best. he may not see you getting punished as the way to go just because you said you might enjoy it.
House Talion​(dom male)
3 years ago • Mar 17, 2021
House Talion​(dom male) • Mar 17, 2021
As much as I'd probably enjoy punishing you it's not a punishment if you enjoy it, but yea a punishment may be in order. Or you just need either someone you love or someone that inspires you through leadership
L a r s​(dom male)
3 years ago • Mar 18, 2021
L a r s​(dom male) • Mar 18, 2021
It's important to know that your emotions are not your will.
They are very important, a kind of early warning system, or way of interacting with the world for your brain. But they don't control your decisions.

My advice? Take a moment to think about whether or not you trust your dom with whatever level of charge s/he has taken. If yes (and I assume that is the answer) then remind yourself that you're going to listen.
When (not if) an emotion flares up that would compromise that submission, think about where it came from, and why, and communicate that to your dom.