Meet, Munch, Hang Out in person

Meet, Munch, Hang Out in person

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 8, 2021

Current social lockdown aside...


There seems to be a vortex to meeting like-minded kinksters by way of local munch. ( key word seems) I'm sure it evolved over time. My thoughts travel to flyers, personal ads etc . Can anyone shed light on how it has changed over the last 50- 60 years?

Along the same line, have you attended a gathering not focused on scenes or at someone's private home? What was that like for you?

This site is the first I've felt comfortable enough in order to engage. Not keen on the current boxes set out for meeting. Are there fresh ideas out there?
I hope there is more than what I've seen. If not perhaps its time to change it up!

Any and all thoughts appreciated !

Secret Mind​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2021

Well I'm only 29 so I can't say for sure about how it was done over 50 years ago. But what I've heard and been told by older people in the lifestlye is that there was quite a few "kink" events kept very very private. Exclusive, underground, word of mouth, by name only, hidden door that you need the password to get into, kind of place.

House Talion​(dom male) • Apr 8, 2021

As I had been doing for over a decade prior to covid, there are other sites that have said munch meetings happening quite often in my state to which I had been attending at least 5 a month varying from gaming to femdom.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Apr 16, 2021

I've been a member in good standing with at least four private groups each met at the organizer's home.
Some included play but you also had the option to sit and chat in a different area of the house.
Others were just BBQs and socializing for people in the life. (All required vetting which is taken very seriously)

One is a group I am still involved with called MAST
I was also involved in MDHL when I lived near one. Both are learning and discussion groups. Lots of friendships form at those.

I've been to many many munches over the years.
Many dungeons. and Many weekends or week-long events that were geared for learning/classes and socializing.
Some had dungeons some did not. Again friendships form and you meet up with old friends. Friendships as in friends, not sex or play.

I find munches are the same everywhere. Some are better groups of people. Others are not.

What do you mean by the same box? Change it up how?

"Can anyone shed light on how it has changed over the last 50- 60 years?"

How the lifestyle has changed? From my understanding, it's changed quite a lot, mostly by the flood of eager people making bad choices.

Many of the people who were here 60 yrs ago have passed or are out of it now. The average age when I started was mid-forties. I was 47 when I found this and started learning. So 60 yrs for 40 yr olds is a long time lol

Bunnie • Apr 16, 2021

From what I’ve read about when different members here have shared at times, BDSM 50-60 years ago was very much an underground scene, not particularly advertised, and difficult to find without connections. However, I can’t share from personal experience, so I’ll leave that to those who can.

As for what it was like in Australia, I actually don’t know. I’ve not had the opportunity to have that conversation with anyone I’ve met in my local communities.

“Along the same line, have you attended a gathering not focused on scenes or at someone's private home? What was that like for you?”

I’ve attended skillshares, if that’s what you’re asking. Education was a huge focus of the local group I belonged in before I moved away, so we always had something happening.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 16, 2021

@ subtlehush
Thank you for sharing a bit of your experience. Two things came to mind when I said box.
1. From what I know there very few avenues with which to meet in person with others of the same interests. Munches and conventions.
2. I've seen how "doing things a certain way because that's how we have always done it" mindset can be a hindrance. I like the idea of branching out to create new ways. Not sure precisely what that would be but certainly it would have an educational component not only for newcomers but those on the " outside" looking in.

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 16, 2021

@ Bunnie

I love the idea of those skillshare. How did you find out about them. How would I?

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Apr 16, 2021

1. From what I know there very few avenues with which to meet in person with others of the same interests. Munches and conventions.

(networking in any6 area of life affords you connections to like-minded people. And that takes time of course, you want to find the people who match with your core values. By attending events, especially the ones that offer comprehensive classes, you become more exposed to people seeking what you seek.)

2. I've seen how "doing things a certain way because that's how we have always done it" mindset can be a hindrance. I like the idea of branching out to create new ways. Not sure precisely what that would be but certainly it would have an educational component not only for newcomers but those on the " outside" looking in.

(Sage, where in life is that not a problem? LOL One of the reasons I harp at newbies to do their own learning is because plenty sell their way as the only way. I like the try it on for a while approach. And one of the reasons I am a fan of Fetlife is because it is all about networking. So you can look into and even, large or small, and look at the profiles of the organizers and attendees to see if these are people you want to meet with. Sometimes it isn't. )

(However, in some things there are always going to be more correct and useful ways of doing things, just as there will be those who want to rebuke that.)

Bunnie • Apr 16, 2021

@ SageFlame,

I’m not sure how the procedure would be for other groups, but we were a small, isolated community, so skillshares were organised through our group (who I joined through FetLife). They would organise for a guest person who specialised in whatever was the desired new skill to learn about, to fly to us and teach whatever their specialty was. Or if it was simply up-keeping skills already gained, it would be run by the more experienced members or reputable guest members from other groups who may be visiting, who would teach and oversee the less experienced members.

There is someone I can ask about how it may be done there, however, I can already say that his first response will be to go to a munch before you do anything else. (And I do tend to agree).

SageFlame​(sub female) • Apr 16, 2021

Yes, I thought simply finding others to click with would be a good start. However, at this time my work schedule conflicts with most others and I'm not available weekends and evenings. So I wait.