How to recognise a Dom and show I’m a sub

tallslenderguy(other male)

2 years ago • Feb 3, 2022

i don't think this is necessarily an easy task (i.e., recognizing a Dom....), because to me one of the most important qualities of a Dom is patience. Patience to me is not necessarily the mark of a Dom, but the mark off a more mature Dom.

i think often the most obvious dom is the "insta dom" who is all hormones and no self control, they have not grown up, and like a child, they are not relationship ready. Many subs get so fed up with insta doms that they build a fortress that's hard for anyone to penetrate, and they often disbelieve that person is even truly 'dom.'

To me, a Dom who is patient is often less evident too. Their patience lends to a more subtle approach, but long term, there's a lot more substance and sustainability.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}

2 years ago • Feb 3, 2022

tallslenderguy wrote:

i don't think this is necessarily an easy task (i.e., recognizing a Dom....), because to me one of the most important qualities of a Dom is patience. Patience to me is not necessarily the mark of a Dom, but the mark off a more mature Dom. To me, a Dom who is patient is often less evident too. Their patience lends to a more subtle approach, but long term, there's a lot more substance and sustainability.

One of the most enduring statements I've ever read was: "The very best leader is one who doesn't want the job." I believe it's attribution was Dwight Eisenhower but a Google search just now wasn't particularly fruitful. Boiling this down - to the best of my own understanding - is that a truly dominant person (or leader) feels no need to openly advertise or campaign.

They have no need to mark their territory in any way that might be visible to a casual bystander. They have no need to bowl anyone over with a puffed chest or a strident and overly loud voice and aggressive demeanor. The two doms I married, I met outside of any kink community and both men remained my gold standard when reviving my search for new partner after taking a three year break. So, I do agree that thinking that there's some *formula* to spot a dom in a vanilla setting and then communicate your own submissiveness to the chosen one isn't likely to be something anyone can contrive.