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Proper Etiquette

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rustynails​(sub male)
3 months ago • 04/28/2021 7:49 pm

Proper Etiquette

rustynails​(sub male) • 04/28/2021 7:49 pm
New here, of course. What is the proper etiquette for a sub when looking for a Dom? Do I wait for a Dom to reach out first? Or is it okay to make the first move? I want to be respectful and show deference but also don’t want to be a total wallflower.
DrWakko
3 months ago • 04/28/2021 8:27 pm
DrWakko • 04/28/2021 8:27 pm
I was brought up in the lifestyle as sub approaches Dom.

How ever not everyone is on the same page. So if you are interested in someone I’d go for it.

What’s that saying: It's easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission. It's easier to apologize than to get permission.
Rivermxl
3 months ago • 04/28/2021 8:52 pm
Rivermxl • 04/28/2021 8:52 pm
Wakko set up the basic for you, if you see something you like, it's probably worth a shot. My extra advice would be to keep an eye on profiles since a lot of Doms put their initial protocols up there, if any exist. The profile will also link to blog and forum posts, which you can read both to get to know someone better before reaching out or looking for clues as to how to approach.

Finally, there once was a good thread here on "subs pursuing doms" or something similar, maybe a look around the forums will yield good results.

Best of luck, Rusty.

- River
MsDove​(sub female){Eternal Pi}
3 months ago • 04/29/2021 7:36 am
MsDove​(sub female){Eternal Pi} • 04/29/2021 7:36 am
I read on that post that Rivermxl mentioned that if a sub is interested in a Dom, you "like" their profile. They check you out and would message you if they are interested (of course, do the Doms know that?).

No idea how true that is. But you would definitely want your profile to share enough information about you to peek his interest.
Rivermxl
3 months ago • 04/29/2021 7:40 am
Rivermxl • 04/29/2021 7:40 am
We do look, MsDove; it's a basic way to wink at someone and see if anything sparks.
Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott}
3 months ago • 04/29/2021 7:43 pm
Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott} • 04/29/2021 7:43 pm
Welcome rustynails,

There’s some good advice here - worth taking on board.

I would reiterate the benefit of looking through a profile and if that interests you, take a glance at forum and blogs post they have made. I’ve been approached by a couple of people who have clearly not read my profile - it doesn’t bother me - however, it’s a fruitless exercise on their side.

From personal experience, if someone likes my profile, yes that normally triggers me to look at their profile - however, I wouldn’t trust this as a definite approach.

If you see someone’s profile and you would like to talk with them - I would suggest a message - needs to have more thought and content than just a “Hi”. One caveat here, look at the Dom’s profile name - as they may have indicated that are not looking for a sub (indeed their profile may well say so too).

Good luck and enjoy.
rustynails​(sub male)
3 months ago • 04/29/2021 8:03 pm
rustynails​(sub male) • 04/29/2021 8:03 pm
Thank you, Dominus Wii’s, Sir, for your reply. I appreciate the insight and helpful suggestions, Sir
Miki
3 months ago • 04/30/2021 1:30 am
Miki • 04/30/2021 1:30 am
MsDove wrote:
I read on that post that Rivermxl mentioned that if a sub is interested in a Dom, you "like" their profile. They check you out and would message you if they are interested (of course, do the Doms know that?).

No idea how true that is. But you would definitely want your profile to share enough information about you to peek his interest.


Valuable insight for an unexpected reason... I would "like" a profile in response to a good or great post on a forum thread or in reurn if someone "likes" mine.

I had no idea "liking" a dom's profile could be taken as an "approach".

I am absolutely not looking to start anything other than ordinary intelligent conversation devoid of strings or expectations from either party, so I won't "like" any more hairy handed doms..

*******

Topic Reply: From what I have seen in here regarding subs seeking doms, while it is OK to look on the forums, it might be better to look in the Personals and post there.

All too often newcomer subs or doms post what reads like a personals type ad -- as a forum post --and seldom do they get the responses they want and often they get suggestions like what I just said, "Go to the personals", see if anything grabs your (proverbial) ass and respond, and don't hesitate to post one of your own, but think before writing!

Write thoughtfully and intelligently and don't lead off with porno-like descriptions about what sizzles your bacon.

There will be time enough for that if/when a relationship starts to grow.
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