Contract Negotiations/Authority Transfer

Contract Negotiations/Authority Transfer

SoulSearcher​(switch female) • May 21, 2021

I am currently negotiating a Dom/sub dynamic. My question is how much authority over your life should you give someone that doesn’t quite have their own life together? What areas of your life should you give them authority over? This person is an excellent partner, and I respect them as a Dom. But as a sub I pretty much have my shit together more than they do.

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • May 21, 2021

Use the contract as a way to make sure your needs are met too. So that he has something to be held accountable for as well. This could ultimately (and should) help you both have something to rely on and push you to achieve.

I had a contract that stated I did all finance and dinners, but he was responsible for my routine and picking me out or approving my day collar every day. Things that he could/should do. It even outlined public protocol and a daily "set" schedule with a timeline in which he could decide to alter it (but it needed to be by a certain point every day because spontaneity is something that makes me anxious)... not to mention... dinners need to be planned in advance people!!! Anywho... tangent. We also included my personal time in there - that would be forfeiting if I didn't use it for a,b or c things (like excercise, reading or meditation)

Point being, It is not one way, make sure you contract reflects both of your needs. Also, I suggest having a cabiat in there of review (mine was every 6m minimum - or per request)

Miki​(masochist female) • May 21, 2021

The beauty of these things is that you can let your imagination run wild. Contract this, that, or the next thing to your heart's content, and honor same to your heart's content---- without fear.

Fact is none of these are legally binding, so if one finds the situation/person not who they bargained for, meither one can tell the other to go shit in their hat and walk away.

'Tis that simple.

But don't let the lack of legal standing spoil your fun... I merely say this to remove that element of worry that, believe t or not, some think the contracts are binding and they're stuck holding a shit msandwich.

Brandt​(dom male) • May 21, 2021

" What areas of your life should you give them authority over? "

SS, there is no one answer to this, it depends on the couple but, for me at least, in a new relationship I would never ask for control of finances, for example, and if I were incompetent in that area I would make it the sub's responsibility. If she was also not competent, we'd be getting outside help. If you've known each other for years, know each other well, and trust each other absolutely, the answer may be different.

If the primary responsibility of a dom is to keep his sub safe and well cared for, taking over sole responsibility for significant areas like financial and health when the dom is not competent would not be wise in my humble opinion.