Checklists / Play Sessions and Relationships

Checklists / Play Sessions and Relationships

Master Ebony​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2021

Just thought I would put this out there for comments.

How many of you use checklists to assess the needs of a Sub. I find this an essential tool so I get to know the starting point of where a Sub is at. I have had discussuions where Doms have said "I know my Subs needs". To me that is not an equal relationship maybe for a slave which is a total different type of BDSM relationship but for me, a Dom & Sub grow together and there is always room for growth. ie a checklist from 1 to 5 and the sub is a 3 for example has room for both to develop.. the Dom/me gains trust and together the Sub learns to push their limits.

Even within a session a checklist can add spice as it leaves room for exploration. Either way the ultimate goal is Subspace.. having shared that experience its equal to a vanilla multi-orgasm or squirt.

This just crossed my mind so thought I would share.
All comments are valid.

Secret Mind​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2021

A checklist sounds like a great idea. Yes us dominants know what our submissives like but sometimes we can forget all of their kinks and fetishes. Theres so many. So having a checklist would help to keep track of them all. To make sure your both exploring and trying new things. Just having a list of all their favorite kinks, fetishes, and hard limits would be really handy to have for just in case you forget something.

TaskMasterNZ​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2021

I always use a questionnaire/checklist to help guage her needs, desires and limits at that moment.

It's a useful tool to revisit at stages in the relationship.

Tastes change, especially as soft limits are pushed. Hard limits remain as they should.

I find the questionnaire a good way of keeping early communication on focus.

Master Ebony​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2021

Agreement with TaskMasterNZ​(dom male)

A checklist for me should be reviewed every 3 months as it also can show progress hence develop confindece the Sub will know she is progressing and knows they are going in the right direction.

Also perfect for underpinning a Contract Dos and Donts.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 30, 2021

Great Idea!

Cherry2000​(sub female) • Aug 1, 2021

Putting anything down in black and white is always helpful for me. I am a list maker. My Dom surprised me a while back by making a spread sheet for me with his clothing choices and variations of my routines for me for the week that he was going to be unavailable. Seeing the spread sheet did a few things for me.

1. It showed me that he was thinking ahead and making sure that I felt his presence even when he couldn't be there with me. It was a beautiful gift of his time.

2. It showed me that he knows me well. He knows that I crave and need his structure to feel cared for and calm. He had taken tbe time to learn what I need and combine it seamlessly with what he needs.

3. It showed me how far I have come in this lifestyle with him. I didn't realize just how much control I had given because it was all a slow process. Each new thing he asked of me I was willing to do for him. He makes me want to do more for him.

beachflyer • Aug 5, 2021

Good topic ,
i always thought it was number 3 in a Doms guide for dealing with all kinds of subs but that was 40yrs ago i see somethings have not changed ,
I have always used my own customised checklist to keep track of where i am with a sub and see where i am with the contract, just peace of mind but yes i also aggree it's good for any sub to see how far they have progressed within the aggreed time depending on the sub and if they wish to proceed further