Help

Help

loyalfootslavexxx • Sep 16, 2021

I just recently got married to my wife who I love very much but she is very Vanilla and I am a sub male who has been living the lifestyle since I was 16 I am 22 now, I have talked to her about what I like and for the most part she has kept an open mind when it comes to things like male chastity, but when it comes to other things she refuses to hear me out I have always wanted to try pegging and I have a desire to be collared and leashed in the bedroom I need help of how I can make her feel comfortable because that is most important she is my queen I worship her feet when she lets me but I need help for more

Steellover​(sub male) • Sep 16, 2021

What was it that attracted you to her originally? You obviously love her and are obviously physically attracted to her. But sometimes accepting people for who they are, also means accepting them for who they are not.

And the fact is, you can't make someone into your dream domme if that is not her nature, any more than you can convince a lesbian to enjoy sleeping with you if you are a man.

So, I'd focus on the things about her that you love and are attracted to. Focus on HER desires and HER needs- which it sounds like aren't quite a match for yours. And find some sexual things that both of you mutually enjoy that may not necessarily be femdom or BDSM-related- I am sure there are some. And above all, focus on romance, on the emotional things you both share, the romantic feelings and tenderness you both enjoy. That may help stave off your cravings for the type of intimacy that you seek, but which is probably not attainable with your current partner.

undtaxis • Sep 17, 2021

This is very tricky here. You actually may need to seek professional help. I don't know what the boundaries of your marriage are but assuming it is 100% monogamous you must seek a licensed, university trained, Ph.D professional with real street credit in this area. Let me explain why, I have seen TOO many marriages go south because sexual or inner desires are unfulfilled. You have to deal with this problem straight away. You can't force her to do it. You have to HONESTLY ask yourself, will she get to the place one day where she can do it. If the answer is yes, then be patient and slowly BRING HER IN to this world you desire. However, if the answer is no--which it reads as if it might be, then seek professional help. Don't get too far down the path and then 10years later everything explodes. Seek help now.

House Talion​(dom male) • Sep 17, 2021

Ever consider having another partner? You could have your wife dictate to them directly as to what you're allowed

fifteen annakitten​(sub female) • Sep 17, 2021

You can't force, plead, cajole, or beg someone to be something that they're not. She doesn't want to dominate you. Could someone turn you into a sexual sadist Master just because they wanted it? You're being unreasonable and unfair to her.

Steellover​(sub male) • Sep 18, 2021

Well as far as the "professional Help" advice, this shouldnt be taken as "You're Crazy." Rather, it may give you some insights to the choice you have: Remain with your partner who you obviously love and want to be with, or seek a new one. Or, learn to live with your submissive/kinky desires or seek to overcome them. A therapist may reccommend that you seeking to overcome your submissive/kinky feelings, and give you the tools to do so, for the sake of the one who you live. He or she might give you the tools to re-calibrate your sexual desires, turn "off" the kink desires and re-program yourself, so to speak, and to develop the same powerful and erotic urge for vanilla sex that you currently have for kink.

I am not in the same position as you but you should realize that if you feel unsatisfied in your live life, that it is very, very difficult to find a dominant female partner, far more so than it is a straight/vanilla or even a kink/submissive one. Sometimes I think that, love, romance and companionship are more important than seeking to fulfill a sexual fantasy that may prove to be impossible to fulfill.