JeZZiKa(sub female){{Not looki}
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3 years ago •
Sep 21, 2021
Vetting
Ok yep I am sure everyone has heard this word before. I am interested to know how other do this. So I want to ask...
What does it mean to you? How do you go about vetting? At what point in the conversation to you start vetting someone? Do you have a checklist? Do you ask certain questions everytime or just with certain people? Do you let the person know you are vetting them? How do you know it is time to move on from the initial ice breaker, so to speak, to the actual vetting process? I am very curious how others do this. |
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Online now
DrWakko
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3 years ago •
Sep 21, 2021
Vetting usually happens when an event owner/host screens someone so they can go to a location or event. Vetting can be something that doesn’t really have a time table to it. I know some who will vett for a location in an hour others it can take days.
When I would vett for the club I ran I would watch the new people wanting to be vetted. I look for body language of those around them plus how they handle themselves. I will talk to them. I except them to be a little nervous. If they are new and talk like they know everything that becomes a flag. I ask them about interests. I try to get to know them. From there they are given the rules and ask if they understand. They know from the rules that they can be unvetted and ask not to come back. If you are talking about “vetting” in the sense on a relationship. That is called dating. |
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House Talion(dom male)
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3 years ago •
Sep 21, 2021
What does it mean to you?
Getting to know you, getting to know all about you. How do you go about vetting? Ask questions, give answers, look for a connection At what point in the conversation to you start vetting someone? First message/ glance Do you have a checklist? Mentally Do you ask certain questions everytime or just with certain people? Keep it simple Do you let the person know you are vetting them? No, but that should be a given. How do you know it is time to move on from the initial ice breaker, so to speak, to the actual vetting process? If I'm talking about us and it feels like I want to know more about you then I vetting you. |
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Miki(masochist female)
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3 years ago •
Sep 21, 2021
I have a shorter version, and it's something I'd do if I were into someone sight-unseen as in an Online Critter..
To me vetting is using various methods to find out if someone is a decent sort worth "going to the next level" with-- or, conversely, a human sac of pus not worth popping open. -------------------- Delicate reply? nahh... Being delicate doesn't wet my whistle.. EDIT: I left out one other portion of the original blah... Let them know? of course. But I wouldn't say "I'm vetting your ass for worthiness." outright, I'd merely let them know I'm looking for a certain "vibe" and if it's not there, the kite won't fly. |
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CSI
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3 years ago •
Sep 22, 2021
Excellent question. Vetting (to me) means getting to know if a particular person meshes with me on multiple different levels. It certainly depends on what I am vetting for (play partner versus dynamic versus relationship and dynamic) as to how many levels I would consider to be important
How do you go about vetting? I actually have a list compiled of more than 200 questions that I sometimes work in to various conversations over time. But really it's just a feeling of "are we getting along? Are we comfortable talking about most anything? Does it feel good to me when I talk with them?" At what point in the conversation to you start vetting someone? When I start consistently communicating with someone and interest has been shown by both (or all) sides. It is usually within a few weeks Do you have a checklist? Absolutely. There are must-haves and want to haves on it. Do you ask certain questions everytime or just with certain people? They aren't the same questions every time. I find different people bring out different parts of my personality and the questions I ask change based on that and the conversations we are having. Do you let the person know you are vetting them? Not in so many words, but I would hope they would know I am interested, otherwise we probably wouldn't keep on talking How do you know it is time to move on from the initial ice breaker, so to speak, to the actual vetting process? I don't know that there is a specific difference between the two. Ice breaking is part of getting to know one another, which is a part of vetting, so that line would be very blurry for me. |
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Sasa(dom female)
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3 years ago •
Sep 22, 2021
Watch out for action, patterns, and the personal attachment system. And take your time... we have endless time.
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