WhatamIfightingfor(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
She is saying she needs more of you, she just does not have the right words, does not know how, help her to communicate, art, music, acting, some way, make sure any form of communication, help her find her voice in a constructive and open manner, and always embraced no matter how dark. Start simple and work through it with her. At least that is what comes to my mind.
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Online now
SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
I explain Brats as an acronym rather than a title.
(B)io-social (R)esponce (A)fter (T)rauma Think about it. When she gets triggered by either an external source (for me, in the past that would have been the sound of a men's belt snapping on itself), or an internal source (for me, feelings of abandonment which presents as jealousy), her mouth starts running and she gets "snappy". When she is playfully playing pranks (I'm a verbal brat rather than a physical prankster), she may be feeling insecure and needs reassurance and reconnection and your attention. When I first came here, I discovered that there was not a single thing that was written in favor of Brats, so I wrote my own. If you goto the begining of my blog you will find a series of chapters titled "The Art of the Brat". There are 9 chapters so far. Maybe they will help you understand Brats better. |
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
Ignoring behavior is anger turned sidewards. Inside, she is in pain and something triggered her.
As children, women who turn into Brats had to try an anticipate what would trigger the abuse. It becomes so I grained that its hard to be submissive without thinking. So, if she is ignoring you, you acted (or didn't act) in a way she expected and it rubbed her wrong. She may associate it to a conflict in values or just a failure AS A PERSON of HERSELF. I would suggest that you focus all your attention on her. Get her to talk to you and accept her feelings as valid. Her perception may be incorrect but her FEELINGS, how she experienced the situation, is valid because it's how she lived it. If there was a miscommunication, address it. Instead of "Well, if you did this, this wouldn't have happened." That's assigning blame. Instead, present solutions. "Baby, next time you experience this, tell me this way so that I can understand." And just know, YOU aren't alone. Working with PTSD is difficult but healing can happen, however, she has to have the courage to take that journey. It can't be forced. |
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| JoMan(dom male) |
2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
To conclude this thread. Thank you so much SBD. You are a rockstar for your brat info in your blog. Seriously, the world needs more of you. I'd honestly like to chat more but I cant message you directly since I'm a free member.
I bid thee farewell. Keep doing the good work |
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dollMaker(dom male)
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2 years ago •
Oct 20, 2021
JoMan wrote: @SirsBabyDoll . I think my big problem is I just tend to overthink things. I'm a bit of a soft dom at the moment and need to work at it if I'm going to be a brat tamer
You be who you are, true to you, and if that is a gentle dom, then that's is who you are. Some subs respond to strict, some don't, you need to learn the person you are involved with and as mind reading doesn't exist, you will need to talk with them to figure them out. As in all things communication, communication, communication. |
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FearlessBrat(sub female){H.PL.}
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2 years ago •
Oct 21, 2021
Probably, I will repeat most what SBD said. She did wonderful job as awlays.
First you have to get to know your sub and create safe space for her. This way she will be able to open up to you more... The hard part is to ensure that safe space is not affected. Once that happens, it will take a lot of work to bring it back. Worse case scenario it might never be recovered. Brating, is the way we Brats communicate; comes in several stages... At the begging We are checking can we trust you, are you strong to be able to "handle" our chaos. Are you consistent and constant in who you are. As SBD stated most Brats are made and have experience traumas. It can start very early in life and those traumas are of emotional, mental, physical and sexual nature/abuse. At that early stages when interacting with Brat(or hurt sub) it is imperative to show that it is all about the submissive and their needs. For how long? It depends on the Brat/sub. I will skip the playfull banter brating. It is all abt playfully outsmarting the brat... 
I will add to it, that we also might brat in regards of given tasks...it is a playfull way of trying to get out of those but we will let it go and do them with a little delay. The other forms of bratting... When we feel we are being neglected. Of course life interfere. In certain situations it is understandable for us....sometimes in our overthiking mind that goes on overload and finding reasonable solution/explanation fails...and adding there is lack of communication between the Dom and the Brat. That's when it happens This is what SBD stated. Another way for bratting is when the trauma is triggered. What I call it, is when our chaos becomes unbalanced. And it can even take something insignificant to trigger it. We can Brat in order to make our Dom feel better. Besides being a brat, I am a little and an empath. When life happens and it affects my Dom in a negative way, my little and empath will try to make him feel better first. If that doesn't work....then the brat will overtake. Essentially, it is not taming the Brat but rather winning the Brat. Once we trust/belive you, we become very loyal and fearless in regards of our Doms and loved ones. I hope it helps. Good luck! FB |
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Oct 21, 2021
I like that! "Winning the Brat!"
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