Help me

Help me

loyalsubinchastity​(sub male) • Nov 1, 2021

How do I know if my partner is in to being a dominant like what are tell tell signs that she would be dominant or into the things I like such as pegging and 24/7 chastity play I really want to pic her brain we have known each other for 9 years and dating for less then a year I want to introduce her to the lifestyle but I don’t want to scare her off smh I don’t know what to do

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 1, 2021

The easiest way is to talk to her about this. You wrote you have known her for 9 years but dating less than 1... In either case, if you don't broach the subject you'll never really know.

On the other hand since you've been dating for a while (how much or little is "less than a year BTW?) and you're still looking for telltale signs, it's ether one of two things,

1) She's not a Domme

or

2) She might be a domme but is not one to wear it on her sleeve.

So, talk it up with her! The worst she'll say is "No, sorry." -- In that event it'll be up to you to be clear with her whether you want to continue your relationship or "No, sorry." is a deal breaker.

The common denominator: Communication


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Side note.. Sorry if this is too blunt, but for starters, remake your profile...

None will take you seriously with all that crap on it, especially the totally unwanted hairy ass pic.

Simply put, that's not how this stuff works.

Secondly shit-can the screen name. All you'll get for your trouble is ridicule, and if you have this kind of profile on sites that allow it-- the only reply you'll get would be from "pro-dommes".

Self-abasement is not a quality dominant would want to see right off the bat-- if ever.

loyalsubinchastity​(sub male) • Nov 1, 2021

Thankyou

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 1, 2021

Don't mention it. Seriously only trying to help you get better results-- ones that might come with a better intro. However, I'm usually quite a smart-ass in here and on other sites, but I tried to put the filter on it above because my boundless wit isn't what you need right now.

Sorry if any snark "bled through the page" despite my best efforts at reining in the hee-hee and ha-ha shit.

DrWakko • Nov 1, 2021

What you can also do is go to an adult store together and pick up an item and ask what she thinks of it. Same also works for adult catalogs and websites.

If you pick a website pick something that has a good range of products not a site that specializes in anal fisting.

This way both of you can learn what each other likes from the basis to extreme.

DW

Big Bad Wolfy​(dom male) • Nov 1, 2021

I agree with Miki. Just be upfront and talk to her about it. Given how long you've known her (as well as the fact that you've been dating for a little while as well) this shouldn't be a difficult conversation to have. If it is, then sharing your fetishes is probably the least of your problems right now.

At the end of the day, she's either into it or she isn't. You're not doing yourself any favors by prolonging the inevitable, so it's better to rip this bandage off sooner rather than later.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 2, 2021

... or rip the scab off, whichever the case may be, but scabs are more unsightly than band-aids

Sasa​(dom female) • Nov 2, 2021

First of all, we don't serve. What she wants is up to her. I have seen men who start low on their new dommes who try, but it is never enough. Never the domination you expect. You would spoil any fun with that and at the end, she says no. The submissive is fulfilling my needs first and foremost. We aren't kink dispensers.

If you are friends for so long you know deep inside how to tell her. Let her read something and don't start with pegging. Not everyone is into it. I'd say if she is not running, it is not that bad. And I wouldn't base my decisions on the advice of others who don't have to deal with the consequences... so I say it again. You know how to start and what to do. But say goodbye to the idea about her being "enough " domme or not. She will not change her personality from the warm-hearted woman to the nasty cold bitch you might dream of. None of us ever did that.