Subspace?

Subspace?

Sweet p e a​(sub female) • Dec 4, 2021

I have always been orgasmic with the right partner (the right one for me) or through self-manipulation or vibes. I am also pretty masochistic and I enjoy receiving pain of various kinds in general and during sexual activity in particular. I am certain I have never achieved subspace with the possibility of an exception earlier this week.

I have a long distance relationship that has been very rewarding for me and my Sir and as our time together has increased we've grown emotionally closer. Not only have we grown emotionally closer but over our time together my emotional involvement with both sex and my orgasms has grown.

Both he and I prefer that he control all of my sexual activity. As time has gone on, he has gradually introduced me to new types and levels of pain and, more recently, the ability to edge for increasing amounts of time (it's still not very long - I've recently achieved about 10 minutes - but edging at all was something I was never patient enough to achieve prior to him helping me and the first time I actually edged he talked me to it without me even realizing that was where he was taking me).

Earlier this week I was permitted to edge (only the second time that I have achieved 10 minutes) and then cum. While I masturbated I had pain - this time with clamps on my nipples - that was somewhat more intense than usual – but not even remotely over the top (I know he will be increasing this pain over time and I have 4 of 5 other periods of pain each week that I enjoy that involve various implements, various parts of my body and that are more intense and very helpful for me but the pain on nipples while masturbating earlier this week was only slightly more intense than my current norm while masturbating).

We have not tried to achieve subspace because we believe that after care will be far less effective (if it is effective at all) when we are not in the same room and because we don't know how subspace will affect me.

I apologize for the lengthy introduction but I think it is important for me to paint the right picture of the situation to have a chance of receiving pertinent insights.

We’re trying to figure out if I got into subspace or just had some form of off-the-chart orgasm. My Sir is not sure because what I experienced and how I achieved it is so very different from the one sub he had experience with. In response to him trying to understand what happened to me, here are the words I shared with him that best describe my experience.

I was so outside of myself with the feeling of it, I was so far past being a rational being, with the need and the want of it, that I am unable to articulate my experience. I was so far inside myself, I was so excited and cumming so hard I can’t remember/access my memory to describe it precisely.
I also told him:

I was more than a little overwhelmed and my nipples are more sore (after the orgasm) than usual.

I believe that edging is likely increasing the intensity of my orgasms. (Thank you, Sir)

I felt overwhelmed/relaxed/distraught/gone/inside myself/immersed/a time of euphoric bliss
I felt completely helpless from the strength of feeling in my body, feeling like a cello, strings taught and plucked, needing to be strummed through every fibre of my being.

So, is what I just described subspace or just one helluva orgasm?

Thank you for your assistance.

(FWIW, my Sir and I collaborated on this in an effort to make it as accurate as possible.)

Re: Subspace?

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Dec 4, 2021

First of all - congrats! Those kind of off the chart orgasms don't happen every day or even every week. I wouldn't be concerned about trying to figure out if was 'subspace' so much as just appreciating the hell out of the experience though. Just like *every* thing related to this lifestyle everyone has their own definitions of each experience. I'm not a submissive but am perfectly capable of achieving "altered mental state" levels and out of body experiences. As a masochist, I can play in an altered state as a result of pain, pleasure or (best of all) a combination of the two. If I were to have had your experience I'd call it subspace BUT one induced by the orgasm itself. Others will argue that I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground so keep in mind you're never going to get a consensus when it comes to definitions of what might seem to be the easily definable.

I'm thrilled to hear how deep of a bond you're forming with your sir and hope the two of you can continue to expand your adventures and accept each experience for the very unique properties each of them brings. I don't rely on labels/definitions as heavily as some do, but the actual enjoyment of each milestone will hopefully bring the two of you immense satisfaction and enhance your mutual satisfaction.

Sweet p e a​(sub female) • Dec 4, 2021

Thank you so much for your beautiful words and your kind sentiment, they were perfect.

i know it was a long post, so thank you for taking the time to read it, and giving some much needed words to someone just starting out on her journey, with a beautiful, strong, empowering Sir.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Dec 5, 2021

I am happy for you to have had that experience... And at a physical distance from your sir.

It sounds like subspace but the experience is different for everyone. However, there are also similarities in people's experience when shared. I mean, science can't even properly identify and measure orgasms! Science does say about subspace that the brain becomes overwhelmed with lots of neurones triggered in the brain and it switches off so to speak.

I was curious about other people's experience so there is a forum thread sharing recounts. I have a blog post of mine. Here's the link if you want to have a read.
https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=119821&postid=60339

🧠🧡

No Body​(dom male) • Dec 5, 2021

Sub space is something that happens but needs him to be there to help you through it. Having a bond is great but you will need to have him talk and feel him there to bring you back. The bond that is made at that time is so great and it is not something I would not want too not be there for. Feeling the energy, she gives off and the emotional ties that we make after is so great. It is a bond that last long after you part from one another.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Dec 5, 2021

Nice point - so important to be in a safe place with clear intentions and boundaries. It's big responsibility for the dom and there are risks in doing it at a distance.

Sweet p e a​(sub female) • Dec 5, 2021

Betty Tails, I offer you a heartfelt thank you for all your help, both your reply and help with searching the forum for this topic, something I was unaware I was able to do. I’ve read some and will read more.
You have really helped my Sir and me understand my body’s response better. We now believe that I probably did, in fact, reach subspace. We had discussed the potential for problems if I were to enter subspace when by myself and he didn’t want that to happen until we were physically together. I’d never experienced it before and this one snuck up on me. I’ll be more aware in the future.

Sweet p e a​(sub female) • Dec 5, 2021

No Body, thank you for the confirmation. There does not seem to be much, if any, debate on that important point.

Miki • Dec 7, 2021

As I am not a "real" sub, only a sexual masochist with a decidedly well-buttoned-up and proper professional life outside of the bedroom I can't speak to "subspace" and all that, but you ought to take pride in what you're accomplishing with that dude.

Virtual BDSM is not something I'll ever be inclined to try and self-edging? I'm so "addicted" to orgasms it is something I know I could never do any more than I could pull gold bricks out of my ass.

There are some who can, but it takes incredible self-discipline and dedication to make all that virtual shit work.

You and your abilities are commendable!

(Not that I'm anyone worthy of commending anything) Just "in general"

Sweet p e a​(sub female) • Dec 7, 2021

Miki

What a wonderful message, truly, thank you.

i truly am lucky to have been found by such an experienced and wonderful Sir, the bond we are forming grows stronger every day,

Miki, can i tell you a secret?
When he found me, i too was addicted to my orgasms, and had never been able to edge

Thank you again for your kind words
pea