Opinion needed

Opinion needed

twoshaytexas​(sub female) • Jan 23, 2022

Hello all,
I am really in need of some opinion and information. I was going through a mid life crisis or something. I got on a few sites. BDSM, a swingers site and just a regular dating site. I, as most of the world, had serious misconceptions about BDSM. I met a Master. He asked what I wanted and I was 100% honest. I didn't know. I just knew I needed something in my life and I was looking. So he offered a consideration stage and we talked. We had a few phone sessions. I don't know how to explain it. It's like my soul opened up. It's like I found my home. I had emotions flying all over the place lol. He was very patient and was amazing at aftercare. We talked about an app that would help with the distance. Physical meeting is limited to around once a month due to the distance. The meeting though...omg I just don't have words for this whole thing. I seemed to naturally, for most part, fall into servitude. My everything was to provide pleasure and get that little reward, the message saying good girl. I researched everything. I made 100% sure I knew what I was getting into and made sure I was really wanting it. We started strong then I got covid. Then he got sick. Well I am better and he is getting better. I noticed that the app was never linked by him. This was going to be the relationship lifeline. We are busy yes but it takes a few moments to post a habit, rule, or task. As well as a punishment for not completing and reward for completing them. It was to keep us moving even during busy times. I mentioned it a few times. I am brand new. I need direction. I need boundaries. He still didn't. Last night I finally spoke up. Told him it's been almost a month and he hasn't even connected a profile to it. Told him I was feeling like I was drifting. He asked for the link again and I sent it. This morning he still had not connected. Just one step is all I wanted. Connect to the app. So I let it all out. I messaged how I felt not just like I was drifting but that I feel lost. Oh goodness I really feel lost. It 2 pm and I know he has been awake. There is no response. It really stabbed at me. I. Trying to give my all. And it feels like he doesn't want it. What do I do now? Did I do wrong by telling him how I was feeling? Did I break some rule or protocol I hadn't known about yet? Help please

switch hitter​(switch female) • Jan 23, 2022

Honestly, if he were interested, he would’ve responded to the first link. He’s ignoring your needs and a real Dom wouldn’t do that.
I hate saying all this because I’m also telling myself that as I am in a similar dynamic right now.
Cry it out. Feel your feelings. Cut your losses. Take time to understand what you need and want in future relationships.

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 23, 2022

Okay, you didn't do anything wrong! This is not about you or anything you do or don't have.
It's simple. There are many who lead submissives on, particularly if new. They play with them for a few months till the parts start to be less and less and then poof! Ghost or a trail of breadcrumbs. It's happened to many of us and it's painful because it's a form of psychological manipulation that creates a desperate need to be accepted, to have what it was before (idealization phase) and to just know what happened and why things changed.
You need to be open but wise and savvy as well. I'm sure there will be a lot of advice coming your way.
I'm sorry this is your first experience.

twoshaytexas​(sub female) • Jan 23, 2022

Thank you both. He finally replied saying he slept all day because he is still recovering and that I was right, there has been much happening and then both of us getting sick. But my mind keeps going back to the weeks before that. He has had the link since new years eve. I just feel this isn't as important to him. I'm the type that when I commit..that's it. I'm there. I kind of want the same lol. Right now I am just going to be guarded and see. He will get the recovery days and if it doesn't show improvement then I will ask to be released. And next time I will not be as fast to commit.

switch hitter​(switch female) • Jan 23, 2022

I’m going to tell you right now that he’s leaving those breadcrumbs. He’s had the link since NYE.
Girl, don’t even ask to be released. Tell him to fuck off and move on. The longer you give him, the harder it’s going to be to get over him.

CSI • Jan 23, 2022

How long did you vet for? It seems like it moved at lightning speed and right into a dynamic, which would make anyone's head spin. I am in agreement with everyone above. If he wanted you, you would know. It sucks and happens way too frequently, but you are settling for less than you deserve

No Body​(dom male) • Jan 24, 2022

For legal purposes this is just me talking and I can't say anything about any other Dom. I do not understand men these days. We are all looking for something and when we find it, we don't commit, or we just hang back to see what else is out there. So many do not see what is in front of them but want not just one but two or more to play with. That is ok as long as everyone knows about it. Being honest is not hard and it is not a bad thing. I had one sub flat tell me I was not her type. In the past 8 months I still wonder who the hell she was and why did she think I was interested.
Still, him not wanting to link is a bad sign. It shows he is hiding and not wanting you or others to know about each other. My first wife and i had an agreement if I was going to sleep with someone else, I had to let her know before after and if a phone was nearby call and tell her how tight it was. If only she had followed the same rule. There is nothing wrong with you other than being in need of something that keeps slipping from our fingers. Just keep trying to find the right one he is out there you just have to keep faith in yourself and let your heart fly.

No Body​(dom male) • Jan 24, 2022

For legal purposes this is just me talking and I can't say anything about any other Dom. I do not understand men these days. We are all looking for something and when we find it, we don't commit, or we just hang back to see what else is out there. So many do not see what is in front of them but want not just one but two or more to play with. That is ok as long as everyone knows about it. Being honest is not hard and it is not a bad thing. I had one sub flat tell me I was not her type. In the past 8 months I still wonder who the hell she was and why did she think I was interested.
Still, him not wanting to link is a bad sign. It shows he is hiding and not wanting you or others to know about each other. My first wife and i had an agreement if I was going to sleep with someone else, I had to let her know before after and if a phone was nearby call and tell her how tight it was. If only she had followed the same rule. There is nothing wrong with you other than being in need of something that keeps slipping from our fingers. Just keep trying to find the right one he is out there you just have to keep faith in yourself and let your heart fly.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Jan 24, 2022

Dom boi is playing vanilla games with you kick the little bitch to the curb .

J o l l y​(sub female){Nillaw} • Jan 24, 2022

Coming from an long distance relationship myself, I can tell you it's not normal. You did nothing wrong. I suggested the same app I think you're talking about to Daddy. He thought it was a nifty idea and downloaded it himself and linked immediately. Though now I'm the one struggling to keep up with it lol. Also to clarify, I'm not trying to brag or anything of that nature. I'm just trying to point out, as harsh at it seems, if he cared he would do it. As a sub, we're allowed to suggest things. ESPECIALLY if it involves our feelings. Please keep that in mind at all times. There's plenty of great Doms out there, but there's just as many instadoms. So be careful! I wish you the best and hope you find what you're looking for <3. I'm glad you got to experience something that truly opened you to yourself. There's plenty of subs as well that are willing to chat and help you through anything! But there are also instasubs. haha so be careful of those too!