When you make a mistake; or generally fuck up - what do you do?

Oneironaut L​(dom male) • Jan 25, 2022

Echoing what has already been said, I acknowledge the mistake and apologize, then work to make sure I don't do it again.
The point that was brought up about subs not being able to push back on the doms mistakes is valid, and it's why I think it's very important for the sub to have a way to "speak freely". Whether it's a certain day you sit down and talk about how things are progressing or them literally asking if they can speak up in the moment.
I feel like a broken record when my answers to these types of questions are all just longer versions of "communication is key" haha.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jan 25, 2022

It is up to the person wronged to decide what follow through is needed, required, if at all. Too many will say sorry, and add but. If but is there its not an apology.

Just enlightenment takes what you feel.

Notely • Jan 26, 2022

Just enlightenment takes what you feel.
a  Lot of thing's are not brought up these day's.

If a submissive does know how to cook or clean or do something  and they try.  The Teacher Head of Household/Dom Should Teach them guide them lead the way not punish them over split milk because now one is perfect.  Only an abusive narcissistic person would discipline not care about the person feeling not try to help them. It's not good for any relationship if the person just keeps disciplining them but not trying to fix or help.  Mistakes are only a lesson if a person committed a crime in real life then they should be doing the time. Barking at a person and disciplining them out of rage being abusive that is  Domestic Violence there are laws that would be a crime.   Sub or Dom can make mistakes as those are only lessons but if a Dom/ Sub are abusive in a discipline matter being abusive then they should do the time.    Person has to truly love themselves to love another to take on responsibility.  Person \has to grow and Master themselves.  It's a two way street not just about one person it's about two people the yin and the yang with teamwork..  Needs to be Us in a relationship and bond if there is no US there no nothing more just walking away .

Without communication there is no relationship. Without respect there is no love. Without trust there’s no reason to continue.

 Relationships are not working out, people don't value them, do not stay to try to make it work best to part ways, don't try to stay afraid to be alone. Just because it over does mean it's over its only the beginning both parts way if was abusive best not to talk to the person just leave cut the cord forgive the past move on best not to talk to the ex if they were abusive you leave best to do it quiet not telling them cause it can lead getting  hurt more.  Don't stay if you're the only one doing the 100% it's 50/50 with 100/100 you have to lift each other to be there for each other. One person can not do it all.  It has to be bond and love and trust everything agreed on everything open.   Person is only one for one should only be one man for one woman relationship. Nothing changed, you can force someone or manipulate that just wrong that breaks trust.  Some are into poly not all are but they have to be into it if a person is not you can change that.   But if Dom is in to poly they need to secure a life for their first sub care them first before taking on more but would need to make secure for the test and care and for them as they did the first that everything agreed on bond and trust and open if things are broken then trust is broken.  But if you're not happy or just broke up, it's not good to jump into a relationship, work on yourself, do some shadow work and grow, do new things, create your life as you go, find happiness in other things and find yourself growing until it's time you're ready for a relationship. It's up to you to make a change someone can show you but the rest is up to you. Don't rush to move in with someone. Some people play games just looking to hurry up. you truly have to be careful that someone truly wants you will not rush or make you do silly things. They will take the time and show you the way with a blueprint and be  emotionally invested before anything before getting hooked. You have to be careful  who you get with someone can come off nice only do things what you want to hear but when they start control you can your life saying you can't have friends , don't wear this , your hair should this color You need to lose weight this sign control person they slowly trying to get you into a trap you just have to know the signs listen to the signs  your intuition.  If someone truly wants to meet you the Dom should come meet you first so you feel safe but should be done overnight but in time. Never give out your location or address let them meet you in public place you stay at your house let them get a hotel don't just jump in sack allow this getting know each other you need to know this person going to treat you with respect same online keep going slow. If you ever travel make sure to have a back up plan. Have someone go with you to the person you need to call if something happens you need to get out of there. It takes a year to fully get to know someone going to take a few times of  traveling allowing to grow. If the submissive does make enough then the Dom and sub find agreement  in trust they show each other Ids the Dom can get a return ticket help so its know not \a risk they not getting scammed but that person took it slow not asking for money and things as its only for them to come see you. If they don't have a lot of money then they need to go to their local human services and places to help them til the\y get on their feet feet.  Both ways both should get their life in order can't wait for someone to make your life better you need to take the responsibility get your life secure before getting in to relationship. I know run in to being homeless or living with family don't use the lifestyle as a way out you need to do yourself first find a church or shelter  and services to help you trying to get out your situation to fast thinking going to be perfect this love your life this only rushing to get hurt break your heart this person not what you thought they was going to be why best to think before you leap work on yourself do your passion and shadow work. Best to play it safe. 

A Cloud​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 27, 2022

I have a tendency to accept responsibility that is not mine. I do this to avoid conflict and 'uncomfortable' feelings, to appease, in an attempt to fix quickly.

My response is general to all relationships, not necessarily a dynamic.

My best way is to know that I really have fucked up and how it has impacted others/another. I apologise only with sincerity. I listen and acknowledge their feelings. I answer their queries with honesty and understanding. I do not make excuses or justifications. I do not attempt or offer to make up for it as this, for me at least, can lead to dangerous territory. I do not make promises. I make intentions to do better, do it differently. I try to show my sincerity and respect through actions instead of words.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Jan 27, 2022

Easy. I admit. Acknowledge that I fucked up.
It doesn't matter who else is involved, if it's my fuck up I own it.
When I was a teen and in my 20s, I never did that. One day I learned that it was ok to say "I was wrong" or "It was my fault."
Now I always take responsibility for my own mistakes, and I always remember to take credit for my successes.

Ingénue{VK} • Jan 28, 2022

Depends. I might apologise, listen carefully, learn and attend to the matter in hand. I don't expect resolution overnight and I do expect us both to incorporate it into our ongoing learning of each other.

Or I might I resent mistakes forever and dredge them up as leverage on every possible occasion. Until I don't. And that's usually only because an even better mistake has been made and I can use that one instead.

twoshaytexas​(sub female) • Jan 28, 2022

Many good answers here. My Master made a mistake and didn't even realize he had. I spoke up finally after asking here lol. He moved pretty quickly to try to remedy that mistake. He even took a few steps back in our relationship to try to mend the issue it created.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 28, 2022

If this "works" for you and your partner, I'm elated. However, passive aggressiveness isn't the cornerstone of any healthy relationship and foundations built on sand collapse the whole structure.

Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott} • Jan 28, 2022

I’m really glad you spoke up - it’s also great to hear the reaction you received. Hopefully he also reassured you to always talk when you have concerns?

heartlesslover​(sub female) • Jan 28, 2022

Admit it. Usually the consequence, if there is one, will be less if I’m honest.