Ownership

Ownership

idClare • Jun 5, 2022

I’ve been thinking deeply about ownership. How does it feel? What does it mean to me?

With one short dynamic under my…. Belt… I truly don’t have anything to compare it to other than my marriage relationship.

For me, thus far, ownership is a powerful sense of belonging. As a woman I need to feel contained, and understand that I’m not constantly fending for myself and in return I feel a reverent sense of loyalty and duty.

When the pronouns change to we and us it’s powerful, or repelling depending on how the vetting goes. While I do have a theory of the nuero biology behind it, the spiritual aspect of belonging to a dominant and surrendering myself by opening without hesitation is profound.

Ive always imaged there is this great Dom manual book out there that all the Dons follow. Lol. In that manual, an entire chapter must be devoted to the use of pronouns and their power. Lol

Ownership steadies me, quiets my mind, and allows me to reach a place of vulnerability that allows creativity to flow. The sense of liberty and creativity that comes with ownership surprises me.

What do y’all think and feel, and how do you view ownership? I’d be curious to know the views about ownership on both sides of the slash.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 9, 2022

s- I've heard it's all the world

M- trust, commitment, consent, understanding, loyalty. These basic needs are common in all relationships, but in M/s such is shown as a sing by ownership.

ellefire​(sub female) • Jun 10, 2022

I long to be part of a we and an us... And at the same time am frustrated with myself that I want that. (Had it with marriage but it wasn't enough in the absence of the power exchange). I'd love to hear more on your thoughts on the neurobiology - I'm a brain geek 🤓.

DaddyXX • Jun 11, 2022

as an 'owner' over decades into bdsm excluisively..ownership means, to me, total control..even when apart, structure, accountability, ritual. etc..in every part of 'her or his' life...orgasm control to begin with (masturbation..when permitted is ritualistic and no longer a solitary event) ..down to minutea that is agreed upon..some need /want more ...or less..the Owner decides EVERYTHING that is agreed to...grooming..clothes..food..markings..
Owning is a RESPONSIBILITY..not for someone who is lazy or disinterested..

idClare • Jun 23, 2022

One of my theories regarding the neuro biology of ownership in a D/s dynamic begins with the anthropological perspective that views humans as an interdependent social animal. Whether we look at patriarchal or matriarchal (male or female dominated) cultures, poly or mono cultures, and include all variations of sexual orientation throughout time and space, the observations and archeological evidence suggests that humans used social strategies for survival.

The human autonomic nervous system basically fluctuates between two states, the sympathetic nervous system response (SNS), and the parasympathetic nervous system response (PNS) in response to environmental stimuli and thoughts. The SNS is our “fight or flight” response, while the PNS is our “rest and digest” response.

So, one of my theories as to why ownership is so powerful to me as a sub is because it fulfills a core biological need for survival as an interdependent social animal. Since this core biological need is met through the D/s dynamic, my nervous system largely function with the PNS response in “rest and digest” instead of the SNS response of “survival mode.” It’s interesting to notice the contrast between these neurological responses when we contrast “play time” sub space, which primarily is the SNS response with “aftercare” sub space which triggers the PNS response back to “rest and digest.”

The power of plural pronouns: The use of plural pronouns psychological conditions and positively reinforces ownership. Humans are biologically driven to use interdependent social strategies for survival. Humans have a core need to feel safe and secure. Therefore, plural pronouns are powerful because they trigger a sense of belonging that fulfills a primeval biological survival need and helps keep our nervous system in a restful state of peace and calm.
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gibsontank​(dom male) • Jun 23, 2022

For me ownership is a duty. A duty to protect, nurture, stimulate, entertain, understand, help to grow, and serve a need for who I own. It’s something that I continually have to earn. Something that if I fail at, could cause harm to the person that I own.

mjss • Jul 12, 2022

Ownership,
Sabine has given her soul, mind and body over to me to love, care for and use. It is a position of respect and trust that has got to this point in our relationship and yes she will do anything I ask her to but she also knows I would never endanger her ever.
I do not know if you would call it ownership as it is Sabine that has made the full decision to become my submissive that allows us the lifestyle we both enjoy.

ursa​(sub female) • Jul 13, 2022

I never considered this in an ownership context. Hearing myself included in a plural pronoun does trigger that sense of belonging and security, and i never even thought about it.

Well put.

FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Jul 15, 2022

Regarding pronouns, you are referring to Chapter 5, I do believe, of the great Doms’ handbook
7th edition print.
Obviously in the abridged, paper back, version it will be different.
Hope this helps (🤫)
FC

Blackwater​(sadist male) • Jul 19, 2022

Twenty Three years ago now, a female emphatically accepted My Ownership of her and for many years the situation Blossomed.
Then about Seven years ago she rejected My Ownership of her.
Today she is simply a platonic friend.

Whilst I remain deeply interested in BDSM, she is now apparently Vanilla.