Dating/Meeting Verifications...

Dating/Meeting Verifications...

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2022

Hello everyone, I would greatly benefit from outside perspective of those who can spare it.

There's a certain fear in the dating world, which is also tangible here in our community, about meeting someone new and them being shall we say...unsafe. Recently, a lovely girl requested I sign up for service that would help in her words, keep her safe. I refused, on the grounds that it required my credit card information.

I wish to be clear. I will happily pay for her security. A reasonable fee of course. However, anything that involves dating and my credit card to another service, is an incredible risk of being a scam. To be frank I had serious trust issues with this website. Thus, the situation made me feel unsafe, emotionally because being gullible is never a joy, and financially for the obvious reasons.

So Ladies and Gentlemen...Are there services out there of reputable nature I/we can trust? What are your thoughts on this subject of verifying the safety of an individual? Particularly I'm interested in third party services as that is what was relevant to my experience. I also open to hearing if I am a terribly irresponsible person for not signing up immediately, however I must hear that criticism first before its corrected.

Atlaz • Aug 4, 2022

Well, to be honest i believe there is no such thing as 100% secure service, "proof of tangibility" or any proof that you are real and not a catfish or worse. I've been through situations similar to what you described and I can say it's never easy, one time, I've transferred a sum of money to a girl who was going through a stressful and dangerous situation, or so she claimed, but in the end it was a fraud. Unfortunately I cannot be of help in the matter of reputable and reliable services because the ones I know are from my country and they only work here... so sorry

IowaDom​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2022

Simply put, pay me to meet me is a scam.. end of story. And once they have that credit card # -- watch out - they can do massive damage in minimal time. If somebody wants to feel safe -- I get it ... try..

1. Meeting in a well lit, very populated place like a restaurant -for FREE!
2. Just keep talking until you both feel more comfortable then share information each other can verify - for FREE!
3. For a whopping $10 she can run a report on you with just your name and city that will scare the bejesus out of you with what they have about you beenverified.com comes to mind
a. your address
b. our name and aliases
c. any criminal history
d Social media accounts
and the list goes on and on ... but nowhere is handing over you financial info on an unknown website a good idea

CSI • Aug 4, 2022

I would say you were probably wise to just not rush ahead and submit your credit card information. But I have a question: what did you mean when you said you would pay for her security? Is it common to ask for a background check from someone on either side of the slash?

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2022

Thank you for your replies everyone.

To Atlaz,
Thank you for sharing your story. Should you feel any remorse, don't. Dating statistics (online) are not terribly favorable to men, there are large community bases dedicated to financially exploiting the male biased dating scene financially. These groups are highly experienced in their work and do not shy away from ripping at heart strings of compassionate people, if anything that is their intended audience. You're a good man for wishing to help another, if anything that lady has endorsed you as a good soul. I am at times haunted by the memories of when I did not provide funds. Honestly, those moments make me question how "good" of a person I am.

To IowaDom,
I agree. My dedication to a lady ends at my credit card. Not to say I won't pay for a dinner or a gift, but its information does not leave my possession. I suppose what I'm fishing for here is to check that assumption of mine, that there is not such a service. The quick finality to this discussion would be a handful of people agreeing here on a popular service I"m unaware of. Until then, I have to hold myself in doubt. I strongly appreciate the information about beenverified.com, I've yet to hear of such a service. I don't know if I would trust such a service to not be a scam either. Have you in any way verified it yourself?

To CSI,
As similarly mentioned above, all young boys should be taught that the credit card is one of the things which stays firmly in the pants. To answer your questions I suppose was speaking in poor metaphor. My intent is to say I don't actually have a problem paying for such a service that would put another persons mind at ease. Though I am yet uncertain how any such system could do that beyond I'm probably not a sex offender or domestic abuser because I don't have a record yet. To say that either side directly asks for a background check would be extreme...but I have sensed an uncertainty from time to time in conversations about the safety of meeting someone new. I lament this fear. I cannot fairly say if its a false paranoia injected into us by anecdotes misrepresenting statistics or an accurate depiction of reality, but its still something I have to deal with. In order to be responsible I feel I must ascertain if I am not adapting to moving times and holding back on a functional service.

LoneWolf​(masochist male) • Aug 4, 2022

Well, might I suggest that if you are looking to safety meet someone new then, call a friend. Let them know where you are going to be. If they don't hear from you at given time then that means you are in trouble... Meet in a public place. Coffee shop, library.

The only website I have used for said purpose is SocialCatfish.com and those results are not very accurate. I also don't suggest giving out your credit card to anyone!

There's also Skype or live messengers that a quick and FREE call can verify on the spot.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){I Guess } • Aug 4, 2022

This is a great question! I would avoid those sites and simply go the route of verification through your local police department. I have to have fingerprint verification for work and it’s not a very big fee, I think it was $20.

LoneWolf​(masochist male) • Aug 4, 2022

Yeah, we have to pay for fingerprints for work purposes in Virginia as well.

IowaDom​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2022

Nope .. I have not verified it, don't really need to. There are enuff people on the web who have been scammed in this manner that simply put .. the following red flags just go off automatically for me ..

1. Go join this site to make me feel safe (with cc or not)
2. I am so excited to get to meet you, oh.. but my car broke, my rents overdue ...
3. Wow I never hit it off so fast with anybody, I want to meet today
4. Can we move off site and chat? (immediately)
5. I wish I could come see you today, but I am out of gas

I am sure there are ALOT more ... those just come to mind fast, even if there was such a service, and it was legit, for myself... prolly would not trust it

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2022

To LoneWolf
I apologize if I've been unclear, it is not about giving the information to an individual but to a service. Your semi recommendation of socialcatfish.com is the sort of endorsement I'm looking for. After viewing the site myself though, I'm still not sure I trust it. It seems to rely on a great deal of gimmicks to convince you its doing work, and then a strikingly brief timer for a "deal" I imagine is standard fare. I believe I would need several more people recommending it with positive experiences to share.

To Sweetlydepraved,
This is also a service I was unaware of. Can you detail it more for me? My limited understanding is they record your finger print? How does this assist someone else in making a judgement on me? That a real person exists with my name and photo? Does it cost others view you in the database? Also jokingly I imagine the service is free if I commit a crime.