LIMITS as stated in your profile

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Aug 11, 2022

I don’t list my limits in public nor do I discuss my limits with just anyone. Blaring your limits out there for the world to see is just like tossing all your trauma out for everyone to examine. Those things are keys to your psyche and should be held close.

Zelia • Aug 11, 2022

SBD I was just illustrating the two aspects of illegal activities that were most commonly referenced on the platform I referred to in my reply to Morley. Of course, term itself covers a huge spectrum of activities, which vary depending on location as previously discussed.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Aug 11, 2022

BDSM is by its nature/activities in most countries is illegal, both in activity and photo/video representation. Sure there are some weird, historical legacy laws floating around out there covering activity that is not BDSM, and in most (not all) minds is fairly vanilla but regarding much BDSM activity its illegal.

If you have taken alcohol, or any drugs that are legal, that alter the ability to think clearly you can not give consent to anything.

Impact play - anything that leaves marks on the body, regardless of what toy did it is considered to be assault. One can not consent to assault. In the UK, anything that leaves marks that are not 'trifling and transitory' is assault and illegal.

Breath play, choking - assault, attempted homicide.

Bondage - could fall under various laws related to Imprisonment. In video/photo representation if there is no obvious way to remove consent, its illegal, as is all four limbs being restrained. So spread eagled, gagged and blind folded in photos/videos, that in the UK is illegal.

Rough Sex - could easily fall under sexual assault laws and if CNC, that's rape, the law does not recognise consent no consent.

D/s/M/s/1950s/taken in hand, fin dom activity/dynamics could, at its core, excluding any actual activity, fall under coercive control laws. Does the law recognise giving consent for what is a controlling relationship, with punishments. I think not. In essence one can not renounce ones human rights, only the state can do that if you are found guilty of a crime.

I could go on, but obviously different regions will have some variations on what is and isn't legal. However to say nothing illegal in ones profile, essentially boils down to no BDSM activity if one wants to stay strictly within the law. That is why, in my opinion, its a ridiculous thing to say.

Taking drugs (not illegal everywhere), bestiality (not illegal everywhere - yuck) prostitution (not illegal everywhere) for example are not in and of themselves BDSM activities, though they could be included. Sure list them specifically, but not under BDSM activity, and regarding BDSM its not legal pretty much anywhere, though a few places are a little bit more open to it being part of peoples lives, such as in Germany, and the Nordic Countries. However some of these activities can fall under general laws regarding assault etc.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_BDSM

DeepEmbrace​(dom female) • Aug 11, 2022

I do not think that it is a big deal to post one's limits on their profile. It is about compatibility. I don't want to waste my time with someone who has anal as a limit when it is a must-have for me. I don't want to waste my time talking to someone who is incompatible with me in terms of political/world/social/ethical outlook, so I state my non-kink limits, as well. The same way that people have their kinks listed, I feel that they should have their limits listed.

I find it odd that some people think that their limits are/should be a big, classified secret. Truly, it strikes me as suspicious when limits are not listed so I have never engaged with people who do not have their limits listed. All limits are not trauma-based, either, so it is not like it is putting one's trauma out on display because everyone does not assume that is why the limit(s) are there. Additionally, I have noticed that some people without limits listed will change what they say their limits are depending on who they are talking to... they are chameleons who will say anything to try to get with someone (nope.) OR they don't know what the hell their limits are (another nope. for me). Not to even mention the people who don't fill in their limits because they claim to have "no limits" which is another layer of ignorant, dangerous fuckery too often seen in the community.

Also, I have noticed a lot of people recently talking about how it is not necessary to list "anything to do with children," "anything to do with animals," etc. in their limits. I think addressing those things is necessary. People are on here acting like there are not sexual predators, animal rapists/abusers, pedophiles, underage-seeking, child/teen raping individuals in the BDSM/kink community. I expect to see those limits listed on a profile and if they are not, then I have suspicions about that person and stay the fuck away from them. In fact, very very recently, right here on the fucking Cage, there was an individual who was a pedophile who was seeking underage individuals and trying to recruit other disgusting people like themselves who were seeking the same thing. So do not act like that shit is a joke or that is does not happen. Because it does. Everywhere. Including right fucking here on this site. I reported that piece of shit, their blogs, their forum posts, and so did other individuals and I believe admin removed them from the Cage because the profile was no longer on the site.

Furthermore, most people who put "nothing illegal" on their limits are using it as a shorthand to indicate nothing involving children or animals.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 11, 2022

DE, I said the SAME FUCKING THING! The examples I used were kinks/behaviors/desires (whatever you want to call it) that for *ME* I found to be dangerous, either for their own lives (seriously? You want to become a eunuch?) or seriously self-abusive.

I also said the same thing, about one person's limit being a requirement for another. I'm glad to know someone else shares my view of it.

Re: LIMITS as stated in your profile

NoClvrNickname​(sub female) • Aug 13, 2022

When people put "nothing illegal" on there, I ASSUME they mean "no underage participants" etc etc, but to me, anyone who says "nothing illegal" probably doesn't have full knowledge/understanding of what they're actually saying in regards to legalities.

For example, in North Carolina, if there are "visible signs of assault" (hand print? bruise? welt?), then an officer SHALL (that's a command, not a suggestion; there is no room for officer discretion as the general statute is written) make an on-view arrest. So any impact play, etc - anything that leaves visible marks, even briefly - is technically enough to get someone thrown in jail (and also in NC, for any domestic violence-related charges, the arrestee can be held for up to 48 hours without bond. Yup, up to 2 solid days before even having a bond set so they can get out of jail).

"Assault by strangulation" (choking, eh?) is a felony.

etc etc etc....

And NC is hardly an outlier/oddball with laws like these.

Re: LIMITS as stated in your profile

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 13, 2022

*Note to self: don't play in NC.

Re: LIMITS as stated in your profile

NoClvrNickname​(sub female) • Aug 13, 2022

[quote="SirsBabyDoll"]

Like I said tho, NC isn't an outlier/unique in these laws though. I just happen to be familiar with NCGS because of my job.

Re: LIMITS as stated in your profile

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 13, 2022

If they oooonly knew!

aceaceace​(sub female) • Aug 13, 2022

The only I really scoff at is when people write "anything illegal". It's sooo location dependent, and what most of us call a good ol' time is illegal in some locations.

Example: in Florida and some other states, oral sex is still technically illegal.

Other than that, everyone has different limits and in accordance, everyone choose to express those in different ways and at different times.