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Turn offs in new conversations

Defender​(dom male)
2 months ago • Nov 27, 2022
Defender​(dom male) • Nov 27, 2022
I'mME wrote:

Gee CSI,
Dom's actually bring up a news topics to you?
That would be a welcome change...
๐Ÿคฃ[/quote]

A young lady from Hong Kong contacted me recently (contacted me, not vice versa) and I spoke to her about young people there, protesting about the loss of democracy in Hong Kong.

She ghosted me.

Sometime you can't win! ๐Ÿ˜…
I'mME
2 months ago • Nov 27, 2022
I'mME • Nov 27, 2022
Byrdie wrote:
1. Since I'm looking for local residents, an immediate offer to move to my city.

"Um, you don't _know_ me and you're offering to move halfway across the continent / world based off of what you skimmed my profile? You are either delusional or a scammer."


2. Curt messages.

I understand that some people play this as a numbers game and can't be bothered to compose a message or read a profile. But looking at my profile - not even skimming it, just looking at the amount of content - it's pretty obvious that's not a game I play.

I follow a rule I've learned: never write more than the person who contacted me. EVAR.

Also, I have a default copy-pasta phrase for when I'm done talking to them.


3. Insults.

After running into one of these mofos who admitted to it, I now ask people who try negging / insulting me if they're one of those people who get off on being cussed out by dominants. "If you are, no thanks. I'm not kink-shamming, it's just not my scene."

They usually act SO SHOCKED by the very suggestion that, while reading their reply, I imagine them sputtering.


4. Announce that they're horny / playing with themselves.

"Well. Good luck with that. Bye."


Byrdie,
#2 I'm the same way.
#3 I may be leaning towards sub, but insults will definitely bring my ire. They are just a faceless asshole for the most part and even with a face, I will not hesitate to let my wrath fly. I do not play games like that.
Something else that has been cropping up lately is Dom's who deliberately provoke me .
Because anybody with any decency does not do that outside of a scene and if you are not my Dom, you are not going to like what the results are when I figure out what your sorry ass is doing.
Its foul behavior, really satisfying some kink they have .
I'mME
2 months ago • Nov 27, 2022
I'mME • Nov 27, 2022
Defender wrote:
I'mME wrote:

Gee CSI,
Dom's actually bring up a news topics to you?
That would be a welcome change...
๐Ÿคฃ


A young lady from Hong Kong contacted me recently (contacted me, not vice versa) and I spoke to her about young people there, protesting about the loss of democracy in Hong Kong.

She ghosted me.

Sometime you can't win! ๐Ÿ˜…[/quote]

Defender,
I don't think it was your news story so much as she probably was not where she said she was from. Weeded out early for you.
Atila​(sub female)
2 months ago • Nov 28, 2022
Atila​(sub female) • Nov 28, 2022
Am I the only one that is a little judgy in their choice of nicknames? Iโ€™m pretty okay with whatever, except when it includes thinks like slaveowner1273838. And due to something a dom told me once, I donโ€™t really like it when they are Master something. ๐Ÿ˜… It just feel like they are flexing. And most guys that have that in their nicknames donโ€™t always have the experience to back it up. As I say, more like a flex move.
I'mME
2 months ago • Nov 28, 2022
I'mME • Nov 28, 2022
Atila wrote:
Am I the only one that is a little judgy in their choice of nicknames? Iโ€™m pretty okay with whatever, except when it includes thinks like slaveowner1273838. And due to something a dom told me once, I donโ€™t really like it when they are Master something. ๐Ÿ˜… It just feel like they are flexing. And most guys that have that in their nicknames donโ€™t always have the experience to back it up. As I say, more like a flex move.


Atila,
No your you are not the only. If a Dom signs his name and Master or Sir is in it, I don't address them by their name. I don't know who is in my box, it's pretentious and makes my teeth grit.
reticent​(sub female)
2 months ago • Nov 28, 2022
reticent​(sub female) • Nov 28, 2022
Being overly familiar or sexual right off the hop. Saying degrading things about submissive women "knowing their place" etc... before respect and trust have been established (it comes off as misogyny - not consensual D/s)

Turning everything back to sex. I say I feel sick and need a hug or snuggle in that moment, they say they'd love to snuggle, and then add some innuendo. I mention I have a giant knot in my neck from stress, they say they're great at massages and then add some innuendo. Sex is soo important to a relationship, but being able to be intimate and live without being constantly sexualized is also important. If I feel like I'm being viewed as just a cock sleeve I will move on very quickly.
DelightfullyDominant​(dom male)
2 months ago • Nov 28, 2022
reticent wrote:
Being overly familiar or sexual right off the hop. Saying degrading things about submissive women "knowing their place" etc... before respect and trust have been established (it comes off as misogyny - not consensual D/s)

Turning everything back to sex. I say I feel sick and need a hug or snuggle in that moment, they say they'd love to snuggle, and then add some innuendo. I mention I have a giant knot in my neck from stress, they say they're great at massages and then add some innuendo. Sex is soo important to a relationship, but being able to be intimate and live without being constantly sexualized is also important. If I feel like I'm being viewed as just a cock sleeve I will move on very quickly.


I am sorry that has been your experience. Felling valued, respected, and cherished goes a long way in enabling a more complete surrender. When there is a mental and emotional connection, the body naturally follows the mind.
reticent​(sub female)
2 months ago • Nov 28, 2022
reticent​(sub female) • Nov 28, 2022
DelightfullyDominant wrote:


I am sorry that has been your experience. Felling valued, respected, and cherished goes a long way in enabling a more complete surrender. When there is a mental and emotional connection, the body naturally follows the mind.


Thanks, I find it a fairly typical experience of dating in general. It's why I've been essentially single for over 6 years ๐Ÿ™ƒ I'd rather be alone that invest time and energy into somebody who will only complicate my life.
DelightfullyDominant​(dom male)
2 months ago • Nov 29, 2022
reticent wrote:
DelightfullyDominant wrote:


I am sorry that has been your experience. Felling valued, respected, and cherished goes a long way in enabling a more complete surrender. When there is a mental and emotional connection, the body naturally follows the mind.


Thanks, I find it a fairly typical experience of dating in general. It's why I've been essentially single for over 6 years ๐Ÿ™ƒ I'd rather be alone that invest time and energy into somebody who will only complicate my life.


There is a simplicity beyond the complexity, too. icon_smile.gif
reticent​(sub female)
2 months ago • Nov 29, 2022
reticent​(sub female) • Nov 29, 2022
DelightfullyDominant wrote:


There is a simplicity beyond the complexity, too. icon_smile.gif


Haha absolutely. I meant complicate in a negative way. Relationships definitely require work but a partner should ultimately make your life easier/happier and more interesting. Not negatively impact your life/create more work and insecurity.

- reticent85 ๐Ÿฆต๐Ÿผโšฝ๏ธ ๐Ÿ˜‰