What is it that you (subs) desire?

What is it that you (subs) desire?

Dark Gentleman​(dom male) • Dec 31, 2022

I wish to understand what subs actually desire from a Dom.

Over the period of being a Dom I have created some elements to make a sub feel very special. But I need to elevate this even more. Only this way will a sub give me her everything. Her mind, her soul and her body. I want it all but in order to have it all, I need to get better.

So may I ask you, lovely subs, what are your wishes from your Dom? If it is possible, could you also add some explicit examples with it? Some dream/fantasy you had? Or something you saw that you also want?

I know that every sub is different, which is perfect. Variation is good. I want to devour as much knowledge as possible and mold it into something very special.

jkillaaa​(sub female) • Dec 31, 2022

Macaroni pictures and popcorn necklaces.

LurkerSub​(sub female){owned} • Dec 31, 2022

This is a very good question. It also has a very long answer from me, as well as some details. For the sake of brevity, I will not list every last detail here. If you require more specifics, Master has given permission for you to private message me. He will be monitoring our discourse, though.

First about me: Owned cis female heterosexual submissive. Not 24/7. I have a cis male heterosexual Master. I am masochistic, and he is sadistic (but we take pleasure in other aspects of BDSM). We do not cohabitate. We are not in a DD/lg dynamic. Discreet: friends and family and public do not know we are in the lifestyle.

The number one most valuable thing Master could ever give me is his time. Period. We are both busy and have priorities besides each other. Sometimes we aren't able to see each other often because of this. If he has a cancellation or change of priorities and has some extra time, it overjoys me when he gives that time to me. When we can't be together, and he takes a little time to text or call me, it keeps me very happy and helps me feel valued.

Listening. I know he isn't a mind reader, so I make sure to communicate everything from emotions, basic needs (sleep, hunger), sickness, physical state, requests, desires etc. When he listens, he can make better decisions for planning sessions to both our satisfaction and safety. Also whether he grants desires/requests are at his discretion. I absolutely love when I get requests granted, but he makes sure he doesn't do it every time, or I get spoiled. I've also been surprised with toys/implements/tools he noticed I would talk about or admire in a photo (and I wasn't even dropping hints). He listened and surprised me.

I have a pretty heavy praise kink, but praise isn't given willy nilly. So when it is given, I know he means it; I know I have actually pleased him.

He's a really fucking good cook, but I am uncomfortable with him serving me in that way. A few times, though, I've gotten very sick, so we had to cancel play time for health reasons. He still ordered me to rest and to allow him to cook for me and care for me...to get outside my comfort zone. It was lovely and made me feel valued, though it was uncomfortable mentally for me.

I am hell bent on pleasing him. If he is pleased, so am I. Period. If he is not, I work harder to do so. Sometimes it's enduring more for him, serving, completing tasks given, etc.

There's more, but I don't wish for this to turn into a tome. Please direct message me if you wish for more details.

Good luck in your journey in bettering yourself.

I'mME • Dec 31, 2022

Op,

I am reiterating the fact that subs are not all in a hive connected by a central brain. ..
They are each as individual as Doms.

I do not like hearing phrases that are literally on a list of things a Dom can say to a sub. Its fake and taints the situation.
2 persons must take the time to get to know each other, this is easier for some folks than others as everyone will have a varied background. What they bring to the table.

When a sub is speaking , learn to listen. So many people think they listen but actually are thinking about the bill that needs to be paid, supper, a work problem, etc

It 2ikl become apparent after so many times of this inattention. Maybe schedule the time out but not if you don't show up physically and mentally.
In a neutral environment.

To have a plan in place in case an issue comes up, saves on bickering, over thinking, etc because both parties realize that they can discuss it according to the plan in place on how to handle this very situation.

Know how to apologize, if you make a mistake bc you will make a mistake.

Be transparent from the get go, if you have something you can not live without it then that is an important subject.


Kindness...

Bunnie • Dec 31, 2022

I desire being able to be me. Unashamedly. Unabashedly. Unapologetically. Discovering parts of me that don’t exist yet. Learning to accept the parts that do. Exploring. Sharing a journey with Someone who is just as curious as I am. Learning.

I desire being someone He can be Himself with. Unashamedly. Unabashedly. Unapologetically. Being a safe space for Him whilst He discovers parts of Himself that don’t exist yet. And as He learns to accept the parts that do. Being someone He can and wants to explore with… not just lifestyle, but life, and the world. Becoming curiouser and curiouser together. Laughing at life and ourselves, together. Truly seeing and being seen. Accepting that a journey together can be simple, however, will never necessarily be easy. I desire to keep choosing Him, and keep being chosen by Him.

I desire Love… in the way it looks and feels *right for U/us*. I desire Romance in the way it looks and feels *right for U/us*.
I desire being able to find and help create my Forever Home, in and with Him… and being able to be and help create His Forever Home for Him, in and with me.

What can I say… I’m a sap

Miki​(masochist female) • Dec 31, 2022

Not a Sub, just a masochist, so my personal preferences don't apply, but from what I have seen and/or discussed with actual subs, the first thing you'll find is "It depends on the Sub".

They're all different. Yes the common denominator is there, hence the terms "sub" and "dom" , but other than that, you will have to discover what a sub you might find and develop something with--- wants by conversation and communication, even before the dynamic "starts"-- or during the aforementioned "time-outs" In either case meaning while both talk and relate as equals.

But, as I opened, as I am a non-Sub, my personal thoughts and experiences are about as useful as a roll of ass paper in a shithouse equipped with bidets.

CSI • Dec 31, 2022

Ditto what Bunnie said. Truly. Patience, kindness, honesty, consideration. I want someone to tell my troubles to and also about silly little things that happened in my day and I want to feel as though I am being heard. I want someone to know when I am upset and why. I want them to be able to take charge without being condescending or jerk-ish about it. I want someone to put their hand on the small of my back or want to open doors for me or actually want to get to know me before they even attempt to get in my pants. I guess I figure your person should be a soft space to fall for both sides of the slash. The one you can be genuine with without fear of retribution or judgment. I appreciate the dynamics I have seen that have seamlessly blended D/s arrangements in public and transition into all needs being fulfilled in private.

Chrysanthium • Jan 20, 2023

A little bit of the previous replies, really.
#1- Time. When he gives his spare time without making me feel guilty. Whether it be a text, call or one on one time he makes me feel valued.
#2- Listening. When he listens to everything and pushes for more. He wants to know how my mind works and adores all of the quirks he makes me feel heard.
#3- Protective. I don't mean in a defensive standpoint. I mean making me eat when I don't want to. Asking how I'm feeling and making me take my meds/giving me massages for pain. He makes me feel safe.
#3-Affirmation. I love when he calls me a good girl or tells me how well I tend to his needs or behave as directed. When he tells me how beautiful, perfect and amazing I am for the little things, he makes me feel loved more than I've ever felt loved.
There's a bit more, but! It's the little things, typically just being attentive. When we feel valued we reciprocate x1000. *I* want to worship and adore a Master worthy of being worshipped and adored. One who is willing to give me the same.

I'mME • Jan 20, 2023

Chrisanthium,
#1- Time. When he gives his spare time without making me feel guilty.

Why would he make you feel guilty for spending time with you?

Chrysanthium • Jan 20, 2023

I've had partners who have made me feel guilty that they're going out of their way for me. That I needed to work for their time or they could have spent their time elsewhere.
When that time is given without expectation or guilt, it's a whole new level of happiness. I want to give him more of my time, more of me.


Chrisanthium,
#1- Time. When he gives his spare time without making me feel guilty.

Why would he make you feel guilty for spending time with you?[/quote]