Where should I start?

Where should I start?

Pantasm • Mar 23, 2023

Hiya
I am not new to the lifestyle but VERY new to the community. I've been a top for a long time but realized a while back that most of my foundation was based around toxic traits and bad teachings. I've come along way from those days and broken most of that foundation. The more I read and listen to articles, books, speakers, and such I learn more of what I should be. One thing I'm very upset I never understood until recent was that I am the painter, but the masterpiece is already there and I'm meant to uncover it. My sub is the Mona Lisa looking back at me through a blank canvas wanting to be seen and heard. I've gone through most every article on here, listen to podcasts, books both written and audio. Where should I start though? Are there actual resources and people who can help? The journey is long and my lantern is lit, I just need the path
Anything is appreciated

Villanelle​(staff) • Mar 23, 2023

https://thecage.co/library.php?Library=front_page

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 23, 2023

You have read/ listened to a wealth of information that's out there, do continue to read materials such as the above link posted by Villanelle and subsequent links which might or might not be posted below.

Doing all that, what's left?

You mentioned your sub is an art work waiting to be revealed (although I would more associate that analogy with a block of stone from which you wish to chisel out a sculpture).

Alas, for all the good intentions and charming image, a sub is not an object from which to produce a static work of art.

Get input and guidance as to what Sub wants. In the art context, does Sub really want to be Mona Lisa (a singularly hideous painting IMHO) .... Maybe your partner wants to be a dazzling portrait of a bowl of fruit or a vase crammed with brilliant yellow dandelions for all I know.... Just get your partner's input, follow your heart, let nature take its course and, coupled with all the third-hand knowledge you have absorbed, work together to arrive at where you want to be, since you're not new to this twisted shit, you merely decided to switch positions as it were, and attitudes towards dynamics.

After all, being a Top all the time can be a pain in any given ass.


Bottom line : Sub must be an integral participant in deciding which way you both go on this journey.

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Disclaimer: Just my thoughts on this. It's not really for me to say by way of actual advice derived from experience, I am neither D nor s, just a currently abstaining masochist.

*****

Best of Luck