(2 of 2) SUBs...I would love to hear more..

(2 of 2) SUBs...I would love to hear more..

SarahRB​(sub female) • Apr 7, 2023

After reading a forum post and thinking of my answer.. it made me curious as to what everyone else thinks..

Here is the question: What do you search for in a profile of a potential Dom prior to committing to send a message for initial contact?

SarahRB​(sub female) • Apr 7, 2023

For me, I look for the following:

1. Age (not as an indicator, but for being 21+).
2. Location (not as an indicator, but as a possibility for a tactile dynamic).
3. Grammar and how they describe themselves.
- I tend to steer away from someone who brags about themselves for 300+ words.. I love confidence, I nix arrogance.
4. I look for who THEY are seeking.. what kind of submissive would make their heart pound and their hunger insatiable.
- I want to be that girl. I want to make my Dominant hungry for me and my submission. I want to make sure our connection is going to be mutually beneficial.
5. Photos. Anything that is mature, kink related, or suggesting the type of dynamic they seek. (Having a profile with 3 words and a photo of your member usually deters me...)

I look forward to hearing from the rest of you!
I can't wait to see your answers, and hope this helps some of you in building profiles!

Steellover​(sub male) • Apr 8, 2023

One of the things I look for beyond the superficial (looks, age, etc), is relationship goals. What are they seeking, and are their relationship goals compatible with mine?

Some master/esses are seeking slaves, in the classical sense. As in, live-in unpaid indentured house servants for a 24/7 type situation. Sex, kinky or otherwise, is likely to not even be a part of the picture. Some subs are looking for this type of arrangement, but it's not what I want. Some female dommes, not so much on this site but on others I have been on, are purely looking for financial domination, and, what a surprise, that is their only kink they list being interested in. Not my thing either. And some master/esses are looking for a power exchange/kink dynamic, female-led (or male-led) relationship, but within the framework of companionship and a romantic relationship, which is more what I am seeking.

Then, when searching online, it comes down to avoiding red flags, some of which are obvious right off the bat- bad grammar and, photos of models that appear in multiple different personals ads across multiple different cities across the country usually screams "Dating Site Bot."

Once meeting in person for the first time, SarahRB above stated that she is looking for confidence without arrogance, love of one's self without narcissism. This is the best way I can think to put it. I like my dommes to be confident and assertive- that is what usually attracts me to them, but arrogance and narcissism are big turn-OFFS.

Then, shared mutual interests, of which kinks are only a part of, also play a part in who I would choose as my domme. After our intimate sessions (regardless of what those entail) I want, ultimately, someone who I enjoy spending time with and who would enjoy spending time with me. Beyond just dominating me, I mean. Ultimately, we subs, want to submit to a PERSON who we admire and cherish in the same way we want them to cherish us.

SarahRB​(sub female) • Apr 8, 2023