Advice on being turned down by a Dominant.

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} • Apr 25, 2023

I find this to be a little funny as you are talking to someone with a Masters degree in Neuropsych from Harvard , and Someone that is also going for a Doctorates . The other thing that I find funny is that you used the term "My Darling" a few times within your reply. This is disrespectful, not only to Hekate but, to myself as well. why would you ever think that it is okay to address someone in that nature who clearly has a collar?

Now to the points of the citing's. It is clear that for conversation purposes on the cage, that one is not going to do an exhaustive search, and sift through the data scientifically in order to come to a full on conclusion. Science basis itself on test and retesting to come to the same conclusion. So unless this discussion is being done for a doctorates degree in Psychology, then an exhausted search is not worth the time for this thread.

As far as it goes from what I have read, There seems to be a tactic of trying to vie for a young girls attention to make a play. You made a comment that she is getting older by saying "23 is young, but it isn't that young". This statement scream's control and manipulation on the fact that you are using a known fear in the Female gender. The inherent fear that a woman has of "getting to old to be desirable". Here is another that pushes that manipulation - "The argument I'm making here is from what you've told us you likely have several relationships to go before you find someone you can marry and at your pace you're going to be pushing your luck on the age thirty metric. " These examples are fear tactics used by someone that is either very self ego driven, controlling, narcissistic, or all the above. The statements play to the fears of a woman. You seem to be using her being in a vulnerable position to attack.

The best advice that you could have given this young lady, was to let her know that sometimes the things that we want do not come to pass due to whatever the circumstances. The main thing is to keep your chin up and move forward. Take care of yourself first and then, when the time is right, the right partner will show themselves. Also remember that, unless it is just a play partner, the the person is a Partner first and a Dom 2nd. In the meantime, make friends with those that are like minded and learn how to vet potential partners and what to look for as far as Red Flags. Continue to work on yourself until you meet that person, so as to give them the best version of yourself when the time is right.

Your reply came from a place of manipulation and control. you scream it all through out your post. Of course reading your profile doesn't help the case either, as well as your blatent disrespect to a person that is collared and her Dominant.

~Eros

Solace​(dom male) • Apr 25, 2023

To Hekate,

It did not trigger me. However I do often feel morally obligated to defend myself and defend others from misinformation. Especially in a public space.

Actually miss, I've been quite civil. You spoke to my points, and I took a good amount of time out of my day to read your articles and consider your viewpoint. You started this conversation by labeling me as a red flag on a platform many use to find relationships. If you really wanted to have a discussion you would have left out the insults or taken this to a private space by messaging me. Instead You've accused me in a public space so of course I feel required to defend myself and my logic.

Me calling you a misandrist is giving as good as I got, and honestly I backed up my insult with facts. Its called a freudian slip and it can provide real insights to how a person really thinks. And you did not have anything positive to say about men while showing real bias towards the alternative. So if I can be a red flag that ladies should ignore from the limited information you have, you can be a misandrist that men should ignore from the limited information I have.

Finally your entire argument tactic is to shallowly pull a few articles with I can only presume is a biased search, drop them in like you have all the data in the world to support your viewpoint, and then insult and shame anyone who disagrees with you. When refuted and your data doesn't work you continue the shame and insults rather than attempt to defend or refute the data and points. Shame is not an argument miss, it does not make you correct.

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} • Apr 25, 2023

How about this... you did not address or apologize for the blatant disrespect that you showed by calling her your darling. She is collared (just incase you did not see that) not only was this disrespectful to her, it was disrespectful to myself as well. Again, why don't you read my post for further explaination.

Going forward, if you wish to discuss this, you can address me, her Dominant. And I would expect it to be in a respectful manner.

~Eros

Solace​(dom male) • Apr 25, 2023

To Eros,

Put your dick down. Its not bigger. Being on your way to a doctorate does not make your right. It doesn't make you and expert in this subject or more successful at relationships. Its an ego trip you just pulled, especially when you didn't concern yourself to ask for other credentials before attempting to pull a bad rank. You study brain function, not personality or relationships. Tell us how to build a rocket to the moon next. I addressed your lady with the disdain she showed me. If you wish to protect her from such, you should pull on that collar a little tighter. Ladies being collared does not give them license to say whatever they want in public spaces.

I am not being manipulative in any way. To be manipulative I would have to get something out of it and I am not. Age is a real concern for women, it is a tangible fear than I believe many can agree they've heard. The entire premise of me saying 23 is young but its not that young is that she spent almost a year before she considered entering into a relationship. Failure in everything is expected, if you are actually pursuing a doctorate you should keenly be aware of this. If we assume that she needs just three relationships to be successful, they each take a year to to start and a just a year to fail, she's 29. I'm encouraging her to put herself out there sooner and more so she can prepare and address what very well might be a fear of hers now or later. I am offering a direct path to solutions while you hand wave and struggle to push a bird out of the nest so it can learn to fly on its own. There is no ego because her life has nothing to do with mine, there is no narcissism because I am expressing broadly male perspective not that I am particularly correct and that people should particularly cater to me. Rather than discuss efficiently your trying to de platform opposition with shame and insults, which again is not a valid argument structure. As a Doctorate in consideration you should hold yourself to a higher bar and represent the pedigree of your education.

You also make a frankly silly point in your second paragraph. You seem to be implying that data is worthless in these discussions and is really only relevant to Doctorate level research. Ludicrous. Metrics, data, and research benefit people from all walks of a life in nearly all categories regardless of their education level or intent. I do think that you and I could find common ground in agreeing that there is an alarming amount "research papers" and "studies" being used by the public in discussion that about as strong as the paper they are written on. The problem largely stemming from the ease at which it is to publicize an a official sounding study that has little rigor to it, lacks repeatability, the utility to predict anything, or has been subject to the P-hacking that plagues even reputable articles. Hence why I did not thoroughly vet my own articles, I held up just slightly better quality of reputation than Hekate.

That being said I congratulate you on your masters and I hope you succeed at your Doctorate. That is no small feat. I also agree with your points about keeping her chin up and moving forward. Finding like minded people is also a wonderful method of finding prospective matches.

Solace​(dom male) • Apr 25, 2023

My apologies it takes time to write replies.

To your latest, I would say you can earn respect when you tell your lady to treat others with respect and don't join the discussion with disrespect as well.

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} • Apr 25, 2023

This will be the last reply I make on this subject because obviously it is a waste of time.

If you read and correctly comprehended what I said, It is not me that is going for the doctorate. But when someone is triggered, I guess they don't comprehend well what is being said.

As for the rest of it, I stand by what I said. You, in my opinion, are not who you say or pretend to be. Most anyone that has real life experience would see exactly what I am speaking of. Instead of making an apology for the "My Darling" comment, you doubled down which shows your character. Your obsession with being correct is even more telling. Same goes for the degradation and name calling. This isn't high school, and you putting a shirt and vest on doesn't make you a Dom. Call me Old School , because I am, but the title is earned, not just taken. Same goes for anyone that calls themselves a Master. Anyone can call themselves what they want, but their character earns them the title.

People need to stop passing themselves off as something they are not.

darlingdiana​(sub female){Protected } • Apr 25, 2023

*watching the alert updates and crunching chips quietly *

Solace​(dom male) • Apr 25, 2023

My apologies Eros, It seems you are correct. I did misinterpret who is pursuing the Doctorate but your language was unclear: "I find this to be a little funny as you are talking to someone with a Masters degree in Neuropsych from Harvard ". This could easily be interpreted as you pursuing the degree instead of directly linking the sentence to who I can only assume is Hekate.

To which I will adjust my statement. She and you can put your dick down.

I am defending myself in public, because I was defamed in public. If you had honest concerns you could have messaged me. You are correct I did not make an apology because you have done nothing to earn it. You have expected everything from me while defusing nothing. No apology was offered on your point for your lady labeling myself a red flag. It is not an obsession of being correct to defend ones name. If I am acting like I am in highschool, so to are you and yours by pursuing this conversation with shaming and insults. You are doing exactly what you accuse me of by publicly stating I am not a dominant while making the terrible sacrifice of climbing onto the pedestal yourself. If you were truly old school your lady would not be involving you in a public altercation which benefits none of the involved.

I am being very logical here. Harsh words need not be made in anger. Thank you for your time, hopefully we can have a more productive discussion in the future.

Solace​(dom male) • Apr 25, 2023

Haha darlingdiana,

I apologize if you and the community are weary of this subject. I imagine no shortage of members rolling their eyes over two men who refuse to back down over ego's. Mayhaps you should write a book of these conversations for future posterity sake, it might make a killing.

ErosRising​(dom male){Hekate} • Apr 25, 2023

I already stated that on my last post that it was my last. you can "Be Right". I am not going to waste my time with something this fruitless and someone that doubles down on stupidity.

Best wishes to you and Good Luck.