Masters

Masters

Real​(sub female){Yes} • May 14, 2023

How do you tell a real Master from a fake Master? Are all real Master’s financially secure?

ewieya​(other female){Myself} • May 14, 2023

You know that feeling that you get when someone says something or does something that doesn't feel right to you? That little tug that starts some questions in your mind? That feeling is your evidence that a red flag has just popped up.

If the initial tug doesn't tell you it's a red flag, the swimming questions in your mind later will do it.

It seems like humans often table red flags for a while before dealing with them. And some of us are inclined to bury the flag and succeeding flags until the relationship is over and then look back and see all of the flags at once!

Red flags like the ones I'm talking about are not a Master thing. They are a human thing.

There may be things that relate specifically to kink knowledge and such, but I think generally you'll want to look out for human things - like someone who doesn't treat you with respect.

As for financial security, I think that is something that you have to determine for yourself - decide, is this something I need in a Master?

I don't have a formed opinion on whether or not all Dom-types seeking submissive-types should already be secure financially.

Wishing you the best on your journey!

Real​(sub female){Yes} • May 14, 2023

I took everyone’s advice on my last dilemma and am searching for a Master but there are many who are fake and some real and it’s confusing! Thank You

Miki​(masochist female) • May 14, 2023

Fake, real, instas.. they come in all shapes and sizes and a "fake" might simply be a master who thinks he wants that role, but doesn't have the conviction to learn abut it. It is a lot of work for masters.

As for financial security, that's a relative thing, and in and of itself should not be a primary consideration As long as he isn't a toothless smelly bum you might want to invest a lot more time to get to know a guy who is just making ends meet but does not have the latest and greatest gadgets, "babe magnet" wheels or fancy crib. Being financially well off does not a real or proper master make. In fact, too much dough and the guy will not be used to not getting everything he wants.

If one is into being a full time house sub then the dick-slinger would need to have the resources to provide for two beyond bags of Ramen Noodles for supper but other tha house subs, there are any number of these dynamics where both check the dynamic at the front door and head off into the working world s seemingly "normal" people.

In that scenario, just don't be the one carrying a disproportionate ratio of the load. But other than that, patience and communication are more important than how fat the wallet is. That is, whatever you end up doing, don't jump in with eyes wide shut after a short intro period and expect him to be the cat's ass. You might luck out, but in scenarios where one is in too much of a hurry to pause and kick the tires a bit-- the luck is often bad.

Good luck, happy hunting!

Vint​(masochist female) • May 14, 2023

He will take his time. Observe and learn you. He will give before he begins to take. He will listen and adjust to suit your personality. He will understand that submission is a process, not an event. He will hold himself accountable just as he holds you accountable. He will meld himself into your days slowly. Until everything is his.

True submission to a Master takes a least two years. It depends though on your definition. Some submit for a period of time, a weekend for example. Some, like me, submit all day everyday. That doesn’t mean we play 24/7, it means that I accept his will in any given situation.

Defender​(dom male) • May 14, 2023

[quote="Vint". He will understand that submission is a process, not an event.[/quote]

Love that quote^.

dollMaker​(dom male) • May 14, 2023

Master is a difficult thing to determine, and the opinions on this are going to be varied. Anyone can be called master by their sub, but that does not make them a master, and a dom can have a slave who calls them master, but again that does make them a master, but simply a dominant who is given that title by their slave. Not all slaves are in M/s dynamics, even though they may be involved with someone who is a master.

To my mind, a master is someone who has a formal recognition by their peers and has been acknowledged by those peers to be of a high standard in activity skill, dynamic ethics, community work, self control, In away they have been like an apprentice in a traditional craft setting (black smith, stone mason, carpenter etc) who has been judged worthy of no longer being an apprentice, journeyman and has moved onto the very highest level of ability to be called a master craftsperson.

The environment for this to occur tend to be more old guard/formal, and in particular leather communities, whether queer or straight - though historically these communities were mostly made up of gay men, and others in the lgbtq+ community, and more recently straight non queer people.

A leather person who has reached that level will have leathers given to them by the community, patches to reflect awards and a cap, which is often a leather muir cap. If someone claims to be a master in the leather community, it can be sussed out relatively easily whether they are or are not. However outside of leather communities figuring out if someone is a master is more difficult, because there is a lack of formal community structures (as found in leather), so frankly anyone can call themselves a master, as they can a dominant, and this applies to in person as much as online.

I would suggest interviewing them in a formal way, asking for references from previous submissives/slaves, asking about the classes/workshops they attend, any clubs/dungeons they are a member of (if so ask about them) and if those things check out, then take it very slowly, get to know them over a prolonged time, don't accept a collar too quickly. Its like getting to know anyone in any context it takes time and patience.

There will be those that will state master is a headspace, and to a degree I think that's valid, but without all the things, time and experience bring, and to a high level I don't think they are an actual master, but just a dominant with aspirations. Anyone new to the kink world should not be claiming any such thing, even if that is an aspiration - time needs to be served.

I wonder why you are seeking a master - is it that you identify as a slave or is it that you feel it reflects an experienced dominant?

Regarding being financially secure, life happens and everyone in the kink scene, no matter how they identify can find themselves out of work, struggling etc, that does not to my mind reflect whether they are or are not who they say they are. Hate to say it but that feels like believing a trope that all 'masters' are successful wealthy people with no mental health issues, disability etc. Being frank that is BS and fantasy perfection. The kink scene is full of all sorts of people, wonderful/valid people, and many are neither wealthy, nor free of struggles, or physical/mental health issues, their value as human beings should never be measured in that way.

House Talion​(dom male) • May 15, 2023

Knoedge and experience, but such cna only be truely seen by talking with them as many would say there's far too many that'll try to use their dominance within Chay.

Financially secure? Sure if they have a good job, no kids, never been divorced, and living on a private island

I'mME • May 17, 2023

I'm not sure how you arrived at the two years. But it could be longer than that for someone to give 100% submission to anyone. And it's a process that never stops, or it shouldn't . That a sub serves their D, M, O and they in turn serve the dynamic.

I'mME • May 17, 2023

dollMaker,
It appears that you aren't familiar with the OP yet. I still haven't decided whether they are joking, as in, idk the word, something like this, making sport of people if that makes sense ?

I try to temper that part of me recognizing that people come from different backgrounds, everyone doesn't communicate the same, and last but not least, many people have no self awareness.