Ideas for offering a favour

Ideas for offering a favour

blooming​(sub female){No} • Jul 18, 2023

Hi,

Not long ago I met a new Dom on FL, we're hitting off quite well. And trying to see if we can share a TPE life together as well as solely romantic.
That said we have not yet really played. I do have rules to stick by and during our forest walk date last time he was a little more in charge to the point where he scared me a bit (in a good way).

To the point, I have a strict diet, and for my son's birthday, I would like to have a day off from it. He said he would consider it if I offer something in return, but he did not specify at all what. I tried getting a hint on which direction to think in, but that led to him declaring that before I asked that question he was way more willing to be lenient.

guys...I desperately need ideas on what to offer him in exchange. No direct sex acts, we are not there yet in our relationship.

Thanks for thinking with me.

Re: Ideas for offering a favour

I'mME • Jul 18, 2023

Are you his submissive?

blooming​(sub female){No} • Jul 18, 2023

Am I a submissive? I didn't think my text left any space for interpretation. Yes I am, well officially I'm a switch, but I don't switch anymore.

Re: Ideas for offering a favour

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jul 18, 2023

[quote="I'mME"]

I’mME’s question was specific to whether you were “his submissive” not whether you are a submissive - regardless of your status as Switch. That is relevant to whether he has the given authority or given right to restrict your diet. (Ie. If you’re in a dynamic with him and you are “his” submissive, then as part of your agreed upon dynamic, he controls etc.). Regardless of your official status, it appears you have at least notionally given him the authority to oversee.

As for offering something in return, I wouldn’t consider it a favor. You are looking to have a day of reprieve from your diet in order to enjoy your son’s birthday. This is a tit for tat. If you are going off your diet on your son’s birthday, perhaps you start the day with more exercise. Recommend you consider offering the day leading up to and the day following you will start the morning of each day with 30 minutes of stretching (or additional stretching) and maybe a few core exercises as compensation for enjoying birthday festivities and cake.

The something in return should always be commensurate to the specific event or request. In the end, this is for your benefit.

Miki • Jul 18, 2023

From what I read from yor first post, @blooming, is that you two are trying to see if you can do a total power exchange dynamic but not in one "officially" yet.

It is, well not disturbing per se-- to me, but has an off-taste. You mentioned you're on a strict diet, requested a day off for a birthday, and this guy will consider it if you give him something in return but leaves it up to you to guess what that might be, except it's not sexual. Sounds like something befitting The Riddler straight out of Batman.

If you're into TPE, this sounds like he's giving you a pre-view of how he intends to run this dynamic.


I am wholly unqualified to help much. I am merely a sexual masochist who never plays for keeps-- and beyond that I'm a fiercely independent brat-- definitely not able to help you much.

If I were to run across a character like that, what I would do by way of "something in return (unspecified) --- I'd put my shod foot right up his ass.

No lube.


But this ain't about me.

What I can offer is this: This Dom-determined diet, this mysterious "something in return" bit:

Just make sure that kind of happy horseshit is what you really want, guurlfriend.

The vibe I got from being acquainted with other TPE couples is--

This kind of crap gets fucking old, real fast.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Merely my "if I were in your shoes" opinion. I did check your profile for more insight before replying to you, but as or this writing it's "under construction"
o if that's what you enjoy, then enjoy! Nothing wrong with it, and unlike what I would do, you wouldn't have to go without the aforementioned shoe.

Best Wishes

M

blooming​(sub female){No} • Jul 18, 2023

Thanks for the answers all. I think you are over analysing. I can't say I'm his sub yet, because as written we met not so long ago, we're not there yet. I have 21 years of experience and so does he.
The diet rules set are not his he is just helping me stick by them. Which I like.
TPE can't be done overnight 100% we are deliberately taking it slowly, to make sure no one gets hurt more than we actually want to.
I've been in a D/s for 10 years but never had a DOM ask so much of my own creative intuition.
It might indeed be as simple as offering a way to resolve the caloric intake with exercise. I'm not sure tough. That's why I posted the above.

Miki • Jul 18, 2023

Oh OK It "looked" like he put you on this strict diet because you asked him for a day off.. Makes better sense now.

The rest you don't need my two cents for.. Taking it slow, each getting to know the other beyond what is discovered in the early stages of any relationship, D/s or not.

The boot up the ass bit I would reserve for jerks, and of course only figuratively "speaking".

It's too much like investing: Invest shod foot up the ass, and you'll always get more out than you put in.

Alas, said dividends are not legal tender for anything except maybe flies.

-----------------------------


On a serious note, the open-ended "in return" bit. If I had to guess, figure out something he likes, be it a nice item (not necessarily expensive) or an activity. A day trip he has not thought of.

Seems like a healthy exercise in getting to know him. I hate the "no clue" bit but I see the point.

Looks like you'll do fine with or withut hearing from the peanut gallery.

This guy seems to be a smart feller, not a fart smeller.

But of course time will tell.

M

Solace​(dom male) • Jul 18, 2023

Hi Blooming. Its a simple test, and and a simple tool to gauge where the two of you are at.

Speaking personally, I might do this with a new girl to see how comfortable she is with me, and how accepting she is of me having control over her. It is also tool for her move the relationship in a direction and speed of her choosing.

In early or established dynamics I might allow a girl to escape a chore or punishment by offering me a good "Deal". I do this because its an excellent opportunity for a girl to be creative, to explore things I enjoy / get validation thereof, and I do it because it requires a girl to know me and react since I personally do not enjoy owning a Doll I have to constantly control. I find it somewhat distasteful when a sub lacks the ability or confidence to learn or explore what I enjoy after I spend so much time learning every inch of them, this can force a girl to do that or demonstrate something about her should she give up.

If you want to maintain the status quo with this man, I think the above recommendations of additional exorcise and stretch will do nicely. If you want to move things in a more romantic direction and like the idea of being more of a service sub you could invite him over for a "PG Dinner" where you can cook a nice healthy meal for him. If you want to see how he does with more control over you, you can offer up some aspect of your life. If you want to be valued for your creativity, you should think hard about something that would personally please him based off what you know.

This is a measuring stick for where the two of you are, and will set the tone moving forward for awhile. Its as much his tool as it is yours.

blooming​(sub female){No} • Jul 18, 2023

@solace, thank you for your open explanation. I'll definitely keep this in mind.

Notely • Jul 18, 2023

Keep Dating each other and go out in public, not their house right away. Do things allow the connection to build over time to see if you are both on the same page and level. They need to be emotionally invested in you before getting hooked, don't get too attached til you know it's the right feeling for both of you. They must be willing to earn your heart and trust to have you can not just be given it needs to be shown with blue prints not forced. Have consent, use your mind and speak up. It's a two way street. Everything needs to be agreed on, open and honest. Dom must earn the sub Submission is earned not given its big responsibility. Practice safe sex both get tested before you start going in to it more get plan b and Spermicide & Contraceptive Gel get at any pharmacy for back up for unplanned pregnancy Safety. if you do anything for your health only do for yourself be sexy for you don't do it to please for a diet just be healthy for you fine to firm of bult up just don't allow anyone to control how you should look they should like you for you.