My Way or the Highway

My Way or the Highway

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Sep 23, 2023

Mainly this question is for the Dom/mes, but anyone is free to post a reply:

Do you have items that are non negotiable when it comes to establishing a relationship with a new s type? Is everything on the table or are there a few points that you are willing to walk away without comprising on?

For me, it is the s type being barefooted most of the time. While it comes from my incredibly large foot fetish, I also believe there is a "barefoot & pregnant in the kitchen" kind of symbolism in doing so.

PhoenixQueen​(dom female) • Sep 23, 2023

For me, and this is speaking from my sub side, it’s respect. Even as a sub, I will *not* tolerate disrespect. Not even as a kink. I absolutely hate it. I used to think I was into name calling, but now I’m like hell no!

Miki • Sep 23, 2023

As a non-sub with submissive tendencies (meaning I personally am not full time sub material, never was never shall be)

--I can respect that. One dominant I knew with whom I discussed, at a high level, aspects of being "property", which would have been the avenue I would have preferred if I were given to such behaviors, ) -- he would require "me" to be in a skirt at all times, never answer the door and so-forth.

I totally respect the Old School dom approach. Hard ass non-negotiable shit.
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But having written all that, as a submissive kinkster only, I'd be forced to say:

"The highway is closer, bub. You go it barefoot on a hot, cloud-free summer day on that nice and toasty asphalt."



--Bleahh

LordofPain56 • Sep 27, 2023

Once upon a time on a different site, I had a long profile that covered all my character traits, personal preferences, political and religious proclivities, habits, vague financial status and sexual proclivities. Those items were to be used by her to ask questions and gain clarifications ultimately for her to determine if SHE was compatible with me. Then, she was supposed to submit her own personal "inventory" to me. After reviewing each others lists, the3re might be an attempt for each of us to negotiate some items, but others might not be negotiable.
If at the end of the review, it is determined that we were incompatible, there would be no going forward, since I play for keeps. But there might be some people who wouldn't care about compatibility, if all they wanted was short-term play partners.
In the case that each profile had become compatible after correcting for agreed upon negotiations, those documents comprise a "covenant" by which we are both bound to.
But that is just the way I did it. Others may have a different system. I don't recommend mine. It may seem to "stuffy" to some people or maybe too much information for which they'd rather have discovered accidentally; I don't know. Anyway, my system was a failure.
Hope you got something better.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Sep 27, 2023

Respect, affection, trust.

SnowWhiteSubOZ​(sub female){Owned} • Sep 27, 2023

s-types have non negotionables as well … gasp I know, an s-type with a limit or non-negotionable. I have (had) no interest in Dominants that do not properly court a potential submissive for suitability and compatibility. Nothing makes me run the other way than making a s-type jump through hoops before they have consented to do so.

Lady Kat​(dom female) • Sep 27, 2023

There are two for me really, these are the full stop, exit to your left, don’t call me I’ll call you kind of thing.
First being the sub claiming “no limits”. This is the end of your audition my friend, have a nice life. This one is even worse when exacerbated by them trying to talk me out of my limits. It’s happened a few times. If I’ve given a limit, I don’t actually care how much you think I’d enjoy it, kindly fuck off. Three messages do not constitute a deep knowledge of my personality and preferences.
Which brings us to the second, lying. In this group I don’t think I should need to explain why this is the deal breaker, but some just don’t seem to get that. Claiming you’re into the same things as me, kink or normie, and then not having half a clue? Door to your left my guy, no need to schedule a return visit. We live in the age of Google, if you’re going to bullshit me, do at least a little homework. It’s not that difficult.

For me there isn’t a kink or fetish that’s a deal breaker specifically, more it’s about the compatibility in the first place. If the kinks are so mismatched in the first place, it’s never going to progress past that point.