Slap Happy ?

Slap Happy ?

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

I was approached today by a man who gets sexually aroused at the thought of strangling a Woman and slapping her in the face and I know this is a BDSM forum which caters to many of the BDSM based kinks but the thought of this specific guy's fetish left me feeling doubtful.

I did take the liberty of asking him what it is that excites him so much at the thought of strangling and slapping a Woman's face during sex and he was honest enough to answer that he often asked himself the same question but struggled to find an answer.

I do myself have one big problem with this and it leads me to wonder about some of the Women who he claims like this fetish too. I know of Women that are vulnerable and may consent to this kink of kink without considering the possible fallout. Some Women may find themself in a position they didn't anticipate when consenting to this fetish and could possibly have problems if they felt like stopping it.

The men who find this sexy and arousing do actually scare me.

Arguably, the guy who approached me was kind and understanding when I declined his offer but I must note I have my doubts as to what really motivates him to want to strangle and slap a Woman, even only just for the kink.

balloonkotinsp • Oct 12, 2023

Seems a bit odd to me as well. But I can't quite wrap my head around getting aroused by feet either, so there you go. I do agree that he might find it difficult to find women who share that kink.

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

yep, but I do note there is a big difference between spanking and slapping. There is a massive difference between the 2.

My question is, what goes through a man's mind to get sexually excited when strangling or slapping a woman in the face. Doesn't this behaviour scare people ?

again, I do appreciate that this is a BDSM forum and playful roughness is part of the fetish in some areas but getting an erection from strangling a woman and feeling the need to slap her repeatidly in the face is beyond me, even if the Woman consents.

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

I received this:

"sometimes I urge to get physically rough in a sense of taking a good hold on your throat and slap you on your face tight"

DarkDaddyDom • Oct 12, 2023

Like all things in BDSM, it depends on consent and the parties invovled. If the couple has discussed, negotiated and consented to it, then there is no issue with it. And everyone has an issue with one kink or another, just as you do with this one or how the other individual above referred to feet fetishes.

Bunnie • Oct 12, 2023

The beauty of this very lifestyle is that it gives people an opportunity to explore what arouses them, in a way that feels accepting. Having a consenting partner to explore what can often be carried as shame, is very liberating and nourishing to the part of us that questions “what is wrong with me for liking this?”
There could be millions of reasons why he likes this, and they don’t necessarily have to be nefarious. Maybe it simply makes him feel powerful.
The way I see it (and obviously it’s not a 100% guarantee) is that someone seeking to cause harm is probably less likely to discuss their desires to do harm, whereas someone wanting to discuss and negotiate and create trust, is more likely simply exploring who they are and what’s there, and trying to find someone they can do that with who also shares that curiosity.

For me personally, I would need clarity around “strangling.” Choked and strangled are two different things in my book. As for face slapping, that is something I very much enjoy

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

I know that, but none of what you say addresses the issue at hand.

What kind of man gets a sexual high from strangling Women and slapping their faces. Even the guy who told me all this today struggled to find an answer to his behaviour.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Oct 12, 2023

Horses for courses. Totally depends on trust, respect, consent.

Who can ever explain why one has one's kinks?

I'd be squicked and turned off by a cold approach like that, if it came out of the blue. Instant relegation to the bin of 'online rude fucktard with no clue'. And yes, instant warning bells.


But I've been in a dynamic where he strangled me to the point of passing out, slapping my face, spitting on me perhaps. All while fucking me like he owned me.... And it was hot as hell. And within the bounds of deep love and connection.

It just... Depends... On the two people concerned.

CarmenZ • Oct 12, 2023

@Bunnie

thanx for your detailed explanation. I noted you like being slapped in the face which is consensual on your part.

Consent doesn't always mean consent. Here an example:

There is a guy in Germany called Armin Meiwes who also had a kink. His fetish was eating human flesh. His 'play partner' Juergen Brandes consented and died the same day.

Armin Meiwes fried and ate his body......all 'consensual' of course.


( just saying )

Irish123​(dom male) • Oct 12, 2023

What is wrong with a man who gets an erection from this? Nothing as long as it consensual falls under the SSAC, or RACK umbrella. You don't like it ok it's not for you but you seem to want to demonize those who do like it. Why?