BDSM Community

BDSM Community

Sololoquy • Oct 30, 2023

What does the BDSM community mean to you? How do you feel you fit in it now compared to when you started? How has it changed? What do you like/dislike about it?

lambsone • Nov 1, 2023

It's a place of commonality and "fellowship" as in "we are all in the same boat". I think it's vital because we share ideas, caution during playtime, understanding of the lifestyle, clearing confusion about the lifestyle, and so much more. Basically we help one another in whatever each one needs. Even finding a partner. The Cage is one of the nicest websites I've been to. There is a better atmosphere here than I experience at Fetlife, Altlife, and Bondage.com which seem trashy by comparison. I think people here take the lifestyle more seriously too and treat it in a mature manner. We also have kinksters at all different ages and stages of learning and practicing the lifestyle. I personally still feel like a beginner even though I have some prior experience, but I still feel like a learner. My Master is well versed in the lifestyle and willing to explain the meaning behind what he does and expects of me. I find the reasons fascinating. From my prior experience I've found that the BDSM, D/s lifestyles to be highly bonding between partners. There is a depth to be had that can't be found in Vanilla. And dare I say, comes closer to a Biblical practice in a relationship than Vanilla. Pain is something that I dislike, however Master just explained to me yesterday that the purpose of it is to help the submissive release things that are troubling her. At least for a femsub, but I don't know about the malesubs. That was a big help to me. Even though I still feel like a beginner my Master has told me that I am progressing faster than he thought and that he is very pleased with me. My very first Master never told me anything, except when he put a collar on me and the significance of it. I find that my current Master is a true lifestyler and not a play Master which the previous one was, now that I can see the difference. It's like I'm starting to learn all over again. So I guess I've blabbed enough and hopefully others will share also.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 1, 2023

Here we have a community of people who think along the same lines as I do with regard to adding a lot more spice to pleasurable activities beyond "Insert Tab A in Slot B and start humping til you blow your load". .

That's how I see it, with everyone reminded that although I dislike labels, I guess I fall in the category of a "kinkster"--- but still I feel as though I fit in communities like this.

I feel the same as I did when I joined. Though many faces and names have changed, the constant is this way of living and enjoying what which is built into our bodies and minds.

What do I like? I think I already covered that.

What I don't like is the propensity of some I ran across over the years to apply labels, to declare themselves authorities on BDSM and from such authority the temptation to establish "official definitions" of who is BDSM, a kinkster and who is not.

I have not come across such irritants for quite a while, but they're out there.

The last jackass I ran into, much earlier this year couldn't seem to comprehend the meaning of "Not Looking" persisted in the expectation that I'll drop everything, travel to meet his dick and just fall into bed (or kneel in his makeshift dungeon, nude with my hands out to be bound While that thought is.... stimulating to my masochist side I made it plain I have plenty of would-be whip slingers living and working right where I live and I do not travel to meet with total strangers in some one-horse town---- and the guy wrote back "Why are you in here? It's stupid."

So I suppose what really grabs my ass is that there still are those who don't know or refuse to acknowledge that this is NOT a dating / hook-up site per se, but it has a Personals section for those so-inclined. Go there to find someone to help you (RHET) get your jollies. I never darkened the digital doorstep of the Personals section nor do I intend to. I'm here to participate in the Forums where I can be of some use and exchange the occasional message that appears in my Inbox.

That is All.