chugunn wrote:
I hear them being happy with results of our play but I don't know if it's starting to fizzle out for me because I'm not there with my tactile touch or am I still not getting what I need? So what do I need from them? Lol. I love the comfort they have with me, would asking to do things in person break it or add pressure? Also haven't had the talk about being their only and don't think I am at the moment. Also thinking am I just too excited because it's hard to find anybody.
Online or irl, both come with their own challenges and complications, eh? i can offer a few thoughts and observations from my own experience, some may resonate, others not.
i've never found online to be the equal of irl. How could it? As you note, it lacks tactile interaction, but unless one is camming, it also lacks the other senses interacting, like scent, sound, visual. That leaves a lot to the imagination, which can be a positive or a negative. I.e., if we are imagining all those things on our own, we can imagine it perfect, exactly what we want/need. Reality is rarely, if ever, exactly what we imagine.
As to "would asking to do things in person break it or ad pressure." i think maybe to the first and yes to the second. Online is a (huge) boundary. Removing that boundary changes the dynamic. i think something that can help the decision process is communicating (if the person will be honest and open) and finding out why the boundary is there? E.g., if the connection is just in writing, the person at the other end could be a guy with three days of beard growth and a cigar hanging out of his mouth pretending to be someone, say, like Miki. Or a thousand other things they can be hiding.
To me, one of the biggest challenges of finding another person to connect with intimately is people are afraid, and consequently, they often hide (read: "lie") to some degree. It's much easier to hide online than irl. No one, absolutely no one, i have ever met online is the same irl. Even irl, people do not necessarily open up, but it's easier to communicate, read people irl than it is online.