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Daddy Dom advice

chugunn​(other male)
6 months ago • Nov 16, 2023

Daddy Dom advice

chugunn​(other male) • Nov 16, 2023
I've recently been enjoying myself as a big with a little online only, and as a daddy Dom to a slave that only wants to make me happy by trying different things I tell her to do. The latest is making her cum by telling her to put a 🍋 in her 😺. I hear them being happy with results of our play but I don't know if it's starting to fizzle out for me because I'm not there with my tactile touch or am I still not getting what I need? So what do I need from them? Lol. I love the comfort they have with me, would asking to do things in person break it or add pressure? Also haven't had the talk about being their only and don't think I am at the moment. Also thinking am I just too excited because it's hard to find anybody.
Miki
6 months ago • Nov 16, 2023
Miki • Nov 16, 2023
Trial and error. Plus you should accept that for the most part, you can only go so far with "remote control kink" for lack of a better expression.

Back when I was an active masochist/kinkster, I never even considered Online because I already knew it would not work for me.

But a bunch of those who have tried Online found out what you have. Without a physical presence you find yourself getting jaded, as in it just gets old.


True there are those who swear by it. Try some other fetich with this sub or find a new one and try again and if neither works out, well, there's your answer.

In Person or Bust.
    The most loved post in topic
chugunn​(other male)
6 months ago • Nov 17, 2023
chugunn​(other male) • Nov 17, 2023
Miki wrote:
Trial and error. Plus you should accept that for the most part, you can only go so far with "remote control kink" for lack of a better expression.

Back when I was an active masochist/kinkster, I never even considered Online because I already knew it would not work for me.

But a bunch of those who have tried Online found out what you have. Without a physical presence you find yourself getting jaded, as in it just gets old.


True there are those who swear by it. Try some other fetich with this sub or find a new one and try again and if neither works out, well, there's your answer.

In Person or Bust.


Thank you very much , advice processed and applied
Miki
6 months ago • Nov 17, 2023
Miki • Nov 17, 2023
chugunn wrote:
Miki wrote:
Trial and error. Plus you should accept that for the most part, you can only go so far with "remote control kink" for lack of a better expression.

Back when I was an active masochist/kinkster, I never even considered Online because I already knew it would not work for me.

But a bunch of those who have tried Online found out what you have. Without a physical presence you find yourself getting jaded, as in it just gets old.


True there are those who swear by it. Try some other fetich with this sub or find a new one and try again and if neither works out, well, there's your answer.

In Person or Bust.


Thank you very much , advice processed and applied


Sorry, I left something out:
It also helps the online pair to have chemistry outside of play time. These tend to be the ones that last longer, but still, it's not an easy proposition.

Best of Luck!
chugunn​(other male)
6 months ago • Nov 19, 2023

Daddy Dom advice

chugunn​(other male) • Nov 19, 2023
chugunn wrote:
Miki wrote:
Trial and error. Plus you should accept that for the most part, you can only go so far with "remote control kink" for lack of a better expression.

Back when I was an active masochist/kinkster, I never even considered Online because I already knew it would not work for me.

But a bunch of those who have tried Online found out what you have. Without a physical presence you find yourself getting jaded, as in it just gets old.


True there are those who swear by it. Try some other fetich with this sub or find a new one and try again and if neither works out, well, there's your answer.

In Person or Bust.


Thank you very much , advice processed and applied


Thank you so much, they both left now. Learn from the experience and move on I guess. It's just so hard to find .
Miki
6 months ago • Nov 19, 2023
Miki • Nov 19, 2023
I understand and also was hoping more experienced dudes and even subs would chip in. It's a worthwhile topic.

As for understanding, indeed as I oft wrote in here "The ratio of Men Seeking to Women Seeking is crazy lopsided. Something along the lines of 9:1"

This goes for ordinary, non BDSM situations as much as places like this or even Fet, although you might have slightly better luck in there as that site is more geared towards meet-ups and other shit. Online as well I would guess.

Lousy odds right out of the box. But not impossible. Just hang in there, persevere, and most of all if another situation runs aground don't be too discouraged.
tallslenderguy​(other male)
6 months ago • Nov 19, 2023

Re: Daddy Dom advice

chugunn wrote:
I hear them being happy with results of our play but I don't know if it's starting to fizzle out for me because I'm not there with my tactile touch or am I still not getting what I need? So what do I need from them? Lol. I love the comfort they have with me, would asking to do things in person break it or add pressure? Also haven't had the talk about being their only and don't think I am at the moment. Also thinking am I just too excited because it's hard to find anybody.


Online or irl, both come with their own challenges and complications, eh? i can offer a few thoughts and observations from my own experience, some may resonate, others not.

i've never found online to be the equal of irl. How could it? As you note, it lacks tactile interaction, but unless one is camming, it also lacks the other senses interacting, like scent, sound, visual. That leaves a lot to the imagination, which can be a positive or a negative. I.e., if we are imagining all those things on our own, we can imagine it perfect, exactly what we want/need. Reality is rarely, if ever, exactly what we imagine.

As to "would asking to do things in person break it or ad pressure." i think maybe to the first and yes to the second. Online is a (huge) boundary. Removing that boundary changes the dynamic. i think something that can help the decision process is communicating (if the person will be honest and open) and finding out why the boundary is there? E.g., if the connection is just in writing, the person at the other end could be a guy with three days of beard growth and a cigar hanging out of his mouth pretending to be someone, say, like Miki. Or a thousand other things they can be hiding.
To me, one of the biggest challenges of finding another person to connect with intimately is people are afraid, and consequently, they often hide (read: "lie") to some degree. It's much easier to hide online than irl. No one, absolutely no one, i have ever met online is the same irl. Even irl, people do not necessarily open up, but it's easier to communicate, read people irl than it is online.
chugunn​(other male)
6 months ago • Nov 19, 2023

Re: Daddy Dom advice

chugunn​(other male) • Nov 19, 2023
tallslenderguy wrote:
chugunn wrote:
I hear them being happy with results of our play but I don't know if it's starting to fizzle out for me because I'm not there with my tactile touch or am I still not getting what I need? So what do I need from them? Lol. I love the comfort they have with me, would asking to do things in person break it or add pressure? Also haven't had the talk about being their only and don't think I am at the moment. Also thinking am I just too excited because it's hard to find anybody.


Online or irl, both come with their own challenges and complications, eh? i can offer a few thoughts and observations from my own experience, some may resonate, others not.

i've never found online to be the equal of irl. How could it? As you note, it lacks tactile interaction, but unless one is camming, it also lacks the other senses interacting, like scent, sound, visual. That leaves a lot to the imagination, which can be a positive or a negative. I.e., if we are imagining all those things on our own, we can imagine it perfect, exactly what we want/need. Reality is rarely, if ever, exactly what we imagine.

As to "would asking to do things in person break it or ad pressure." i think maybe to the first and yes to the second. Online is a (huge) boundary. Removing that boundary changes the dynamic. i think something that can help the decision process is communicating (if the person will be honest and open) and finding out why the boundary is there? E.g., if the connection is just in writing, the person at the other end could be a guy with three days of beard growth and a cigar hanging out of his mouth pretending to be someone, say, like Miki. Or a thousand other things they can be hiding.
To me, one of the biggest challenges of finding another person to connect with intimately is people are afraid, and consequently, they often hide (read: "lie") to some degree. It's much easier to hide online than irl. No one, absolutely no one, i have ever met online is the same irl. Even irl, people do not necessarily open up, but it's easier to communicate, read people irl than it is online.


Thank you very much. I appreciate the answer to what I'm feeling. It's been a nice little journey and I'm in it for the long haul.