It’s not just a Cranberries song

It’s not just a Cranberries song

Bunnie • Mar 24, 2018

How do you deal with disappointment? Be it big or small, whether you’re D or s... I know for many subs the thought of disappointing their Dominant seems unbearable. Is it the same for Dominants? And if it occurs on either side, what tools do you use, both personally and together, to move past the hurt that it can create?

Performer​(dom male) • Mar 24, 2018

It is definitely a concern for Dominants. You always want to be a good partner. That includes living up to the title you are. I find that my best tool to deal with it is to acknowledge, apologize, communicate, and adjust. No one is perfect, but you can try. When you fall short you can own up to it and strive to be better.

Asteria​(neither female) • Mar 24, 2018

I have trouble dealing with disappointments, mostly because of my own internal high standards towards myself (and in general), and the "all or nothing" attitude. If I want to comply with my own standards, then I need to try really hard, so when I fail I have two people to disappoint - my Dominant and myself. Being very stubborn helps (not only in D/s relationship, but also in my so called "normal" life), because what I do when I fail and disappoint is to try once again, and try harder. It's not always easy and it does not guarantee that I won't fail again, hell no. But treating disappointments and failures as lessons to be learnt for both parties is probably the best thing to do. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. Oh, and sometimes simple words "I am sorry, I screwed up" are more important than anything else.

sweet november​(sub female) • Mar 26, 2018

I have yet to see or hear a Dominant be sorry. But seem so quick and eager to point out mistakes of submissive's and hand our punishments.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Mar 26, 2018

I'm sorry you've yet to experience that.

Asteria​(neither female) • Mar 26, 2018

So I guess that luckily you still have quite a lot to see or hear

sweet november​(sub female) • Mar 26, 2018

Well, one Dom I've met is sincere so I am grateful for that. And another gives some very good advice.

Bunnie • Mar 29, 2018

Thank you for the really good feedback, and some tools to use. I really like the process you use, Tr0608, thank you for sharing it.