My ex revealed his kink to me and I don't know what to do

SCiamthefoxtv • Feb 4, 2024

Understandable but I thought you said that he was your ex from the get go? I'm confused.

lunamuse​(sub female) • Feb 4, 2024

Hey!

I’m just chiming in to tell you how proud I am of you for seeking advice and for being willing to truly consider your own needs. You’re doing great, and you’ll find everything you need without having to sacrifice your own core values 🩷

Lady Kat​(dom female) • Feb 5, 2024

Ok after reading your whole post, my thought is that while he may be attractive for the qualities you listed, he’s not the right one for you. Just hear me out, I know that’s not what you really want to hear, but you were shocked.
His wants and needs seem very different to yours, and you sound like you were totally blindsided by them. That doesn’t speak of a very functional communication between the two of you. I know the urgency when a significant other is serving, I met my partner when he was in the Army.

But the deeper conversations after you broke up have me convinced the two of you don’t have the makings of a good marriage. And that’s ok! His wants and needs being different from yours? Something you need to know, and be damn glad to know now rather than say a year after you got married and neither of you happy with the situation.

If the things he spoke of made you feel queasy? Not your cup of tea, and I promise there’s someone else out there for you both. It sounds like he’s got some ideas he’s going to need a very specific sort of partner for and the qualities you found attractive in him do exist in others.

Don’t try to change yourself for a man that isn’t looking for the same things in a partnership as you. Life is too short for that

MasterDomDok​(sadist male){you?} • Feb 6, 2024

DO NOT allow this fool to gaslight you for one more sentence.

antihero​(dom male) • Feb 6, 2024

Sounds like you know what you want, and it doesn't align with what he wants. I sincerely hope the conversation goes well.

You have plenty of time to find someone more aligned with you.

I'll reiterate what was said above. You did good seeking advice first before going through with anything. Life your life, find your own path, and stay true to yourself.

Sasa​(dom female) • Feb 6, 2024

It sounds like the fantasies of someone without experience. Nothing bad about it, we all start somewhere. This is your life and I would suggest that it is not only based on some little sex fantasies. I am not as young as you are and learned many aren't able to swallow what they think they want from a cake - that includes dominant people. Having a "harem" sounds only nice until the first problem bubbles up and they will. Poly means you should have also a bond with the other women... they get into your head anyway and have a place there.

Welcome.

SCiamthefoxtv • Feb 9, 2024

I'm just as lost as you are here but welcome.

SCiamthefoxtv • Feb 9, 2024

Welcome. If you learn anything new. Let me know. I'm lost.

Fyglia Wicked​(dom female) • Feb 10, 2024

The breeding thing is a red flag .
How he views women is another red flag .
Trust your gut and don't worry about being seen as " kink bashing " .
Him waiting until he was deployed to tell you after knowing you a year is nothing short of being a coward. Might as well hand the country over allowing men like that into the military.

farashacaveluv • Feb 10, 2024

Yeah. If you are not into it, don't put yourself in a swinging/non-monogamous situation. Folks should not be coerced or pressured into that. It should be a joyful and consented scenario. I'm glad you are separated from him. He can find someone who would enjoy that with him.