In Need of Explanation or Education

In Need of Explanation or Education

Cognizant​(sadist male) • Jan 31, 2024

Hello fellow Cage Dwellers.

I witnessed an event yesterday that has left me baffled and wanting information. I have never witnessed anything exactly like this and would like to try and understand what happened, and how it happened.

I manage a small branch office where a typical shift will have four to six workers in cubicles and me. We range in age from low 20's to close to 70. My two newest staff, both administrative are in their mid 20's . YES, most of the women on my staff exhibit strong submissive traits - that's partly why I hired them. NO - I don't get my meat where I get my bread.

Yesterday afternoon an established client came in and had to wait in the lobby for his appointment, since the one before his was running overtime. This client is a rather unique individual, but very non violent or intimidating. Yup, he has a mohawk hairstyle, sure he wears a leather jacket, Of course his personality is gregarious and confident. Neither of the fore mentioned staff popped out of their cublcle to see this client, they only heard him. He was talking about nepotism in the local music scene and discrimination by a local gym management, because of his appearance.

I see myself in this young man, albiet many years since I was in a punk/metal band, I still shake my fist in defiance of "The Man", and could easily relate to his colorful tale of smallish town redneckery clashing with alternative styles. If you aren't wearing the right version of camouflaged Carhartt you may be scrutinized by some good old boys. So I just happen to be manning the front desk when this client is on his rant, while out of the corner of my eye I notice one of the two young receptionists is struggling inside her cubicle, I can see her face palming, deep sighing and looking exasperated. At first I attribute her discomfort to tech problems we are facing with a new voip phone system. Meanwhile Mr. Punk Rocker that likes to stay in shape is mouthing his disapproval of booking practices of a couple local bars and griping about how management of a local gym has singled him out for harassment. I engage him lightly, and remind him we are a professional service so he may want to keep his cursing to a minimum.

Jump ahead an hour and the client has finished his appointment and left the building - Now these two young women come together in the first cubicle hug and break down sobbing. Snot spewing, body quivering, uncontrollable sobs and unable to talk clearly without gasping for air and stuttering. THE SADIST IN ME RECOGNIZES THIS REACTION and peaks my interest in whatever phenomenon just happened. My GAWD the implications here.

So, neither young office worker could offer me an explanation of any depth sufficient to help me understand what transpired. The first said "he reminded me of an ex", while the second said she reacted because her friend was in crisis - the two had been messaging each other via an intercompany chat and file sharing app. An hour later the first had gone home for the day and the second had approached me for assistance with her task. Standing a few feet away from me she again had a spasm and shook, closing her eyes tightly and sighing loudly claiming to still be upset about the talking man. - AGAIN MY INNER SADIST SAW CLEAR SIGNS that the scene is over and aftercare should be taking place. All these years I've wasted using impact toys, and painful torments to bring these reactions out of you, when all I needed to do was tell you a story. . . . . . . . . . .

Have any of you had a similar experience? What is your take? As the office manager, I know what HR would say, but from your perspective, what should I have done differently?

Miki • Jan 31, 2024

My opinion only, as I work in a professional environmnent (I T /Systems Analyst/ digital infrastructure technician-- assorted other digital crap) ... but that is neither here nor there.

Sorry, fella, your workplace sounds like a hot mess.

Yes everyone gets clients who like to vent like Mister Mohawk did. However, a dominant / sadist hiring women who display submissive tendencies, even if you don't take meat where you make the bread is bad hiring practice.

Leave the twisted shit (or tendencies) at the damned door and hire your help on their competency, past experience, MERIT and where possible, references.

I'm sorry, but in your place, even as a maso-girl (RET) I'd disqualify anyone M/F who wore their dom/sub natures on their sleeves so as to be detectable on interview forthwith.

In your place I'd have an exceedingly brief and to the point conversation with that woman (hypothetically speaking because I cannot talk as some, but not all in here are well aware) But, cutting to the chase I'd tell her one thing:

"There will be, from time to time, clients who look this way and that, attractive or nauseating, who feel the need to pissand moan about outside bullshit at anything with ears. Ignore it, do the job I hired you to do, and do NOT let their shaggy dog stories affect to you. Pull yourself together, don't mind what anyone says that does not concern you professionally. If you cannot do that, I'll gladly accept your resignation, effective the moment you hand it to me."


Not to be a ball buster, Cognizant, but when staffing an office, check the BDSM crap at the door, both boss and workers.

This shit has NO place in a business environment unless, of course, your business is selling whips and chains.

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Other than that, a thoughtful and bare-ass honest post, I respect that. Oh yeah and of course, I am always open to learning new ways to "stick it to the Man"

lambsone • Jan 31, 2024

I personally wouldn't worry about it anymore. You tried to get info from them which they couldn't give you, and as a superior, your main responsibility is seeing that the job gets done and goals are met. Most employers expect employees to check their personal lives at the door once they enter the work environment. It sounds cruel and detached but it can also be a break/distraction from any craziness happening in an employee's personal life.

You showed as much compassion as I believe was warranted and who knows, after they have a chance to process the feelings the client triggered for them, they may be able to communicate it to you.

But I would let them take that initiative to explain what happened. If it affects them terribly, then it is their responsibility to get the help they need to deal with their past and come to terms with it.

Maintain a professional environment and recognize that their emotions and past life experiences are in a realm that is not your expertise. To do so may cause unwanted familiarity and attachment. Best to let a trained professional help them sort it out.

Just some thoughts to consider.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Feb 1, 2024

What she said

Cognizant​(sadist male) • Feb 2, 2024

Going to try and not ruffle anyone's feathers. . .while at the same time call out some misunderstandings about the nature of Sadism

Number 1. I was born a sadist and began having sadistic fantasies before I reached puberty . I have spent my time on therapist's couches hashing about these thoughts and mostly learning to control them and remain a viable part of a civilized society whilst not becoming Dexter 2.0 - luckily my fantasies were mostly of a sexual nature and not involving the removal of people I deemed unworthy of life, like the TV character. This Sadism is embedded into my entire being, it takes me everywhere I go, it sees everything I see, talks to all the people I talk to, and lives inside me like a symbiotic parasite that can not be removed without killing the host. So, yes, I take my Sadist to work (and everywhere else out in public). . .but I make him behave differently than I do when we are in the company of a submissive pain slut that thinks I'm sexy.

Number 2. Submissives and Cubicle work are a hiring managers dream. Nearly all job interviews are made up of behavioral questions. In my small branch office the hierarchy is limited and anyone with ambition will rapidly stagnate simply because there are very few opportunities for advancement and the company expects strict adherence to SOP. Even the four of my seven that are professionally licensed, there are only a small amount of upgrades available. . .the other three are usually only looking for part time work and there used to be a lot of turnover for that position before I took over as the lead. My teams performance have made huge improvements over my predecessor and my District Manager gives me top reviews. My team create a beautiful culture of co-operation, camaraderie and friendship, all while making my job easier by happily chiming "yes Sir" when I ask them to perform a task. . . . .what manager doesn't want that?

Number 3. We run a professional office, the conversations and behaviors are work related and family friendly. I reserve acting on my sadism to times with consenting adults. . . .but that doesn't mean I can't utilize his expertise, or that I will ignore his findings. If there were no Sadism at work - there wouldn't be any Wall Street, Fortune 500 or Banks

Miki • Feb 3, 2024

I love you and respect your opionions but that joker made a mess,

Period.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Feb 3, 2024

“Submissives and Cubicle work are a hiring managers dream. Nearly all job interviews are made up of behavioral questions. In my small branch office the hierarchy is limited and anyone with ambition will rapidly stagnate simply because there are very few opportunities for advancement and the company expects strict adherence to SOP.”

What I’m hearing you say is that submissive’s are suitable for this “cubical work” because a submissive inherently lacks ambition, and therefore will not stagnate in this environment and happily follows orders blindly while truly accepting “their place” of performing subservient menial tasks.

Do I truly need to highlight the fallacy in this?

SnowMinx​(sub female){Owned} • Feb 3, 2024

Dare i say that the original poster shouldn't be making hiring decisions if he can't do so without bias. I assume the US also has all kinds of laws and employment practices against this as well.
I do realize that isn't the point of this thread but unethical shit makes it hard to bite my tongue.

Miki • Feb 3, 2024

What the F man.. You are a variously highly intelligent guy. Why would you do this to a girl?

My inbox is open. Please explain

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Feb 4, 2024

I will weigh in a tad. I read this the other day and had to consider it. I agree with the other comments regarding hiring practices and drawing the line so I won't rehash that.

I don't know what your office technically or actually does, so it's hard to understand what interactions the ladies would have with your client base. If he is an established client, how often will he and others like him frequent the office? It sounds as if this new hire really should consider the work environment and her mental health. At a minimum, she probably should seek therapy - professional help, not aftercare. What scene took place in your opinion and how would they need aftercare? She didn't just experience a scene - she suffered a trigger. Two totally different events. That being the case, I'm wondering what exactly you believe you identified in the two women that would inspire you. As I said, the one obviously needs therapy, professional help and not aftercare, the other is just being silly.

I'd highly recommend you speak to HR. I guess I miss a great deal of your comments on why sadism means anything in the work force. And certainly it has nothing to do with Wall Street or Banks or money. But definitely being a good supervisor means watching for your staff's total health and well-being within the office environment, and if she is melting down because a client reminds her of an ex, you are responsible for the office environment which means determining whether she is a liability to the office, the customers or a danger to herself. Seek HR guidance on what should be done to assist her and to protect your office, the staff to include the girl, and yourself.