Exploring D/s and TPE with My Partner | Seeking Advice and Guidance

Exploring D/s and TPE with My Partner | Seeking Advice and G

AWanderingGirl​(sub female) • Apr 11, 2024

I identify as submissive with masochistic tendencies, and I’d love to get some guidance and advice on introducing my partner to the world of D/s and TPE.

My partner and I have been exploring our kinky sides, and while he's open to trying new things, I'm noticing how much I miss the dynamics of D/s and TPE.

I'd love insights from those with experience in introducing their partner D/s and TPE dynamics.

? How did you introduce your partner to these dynamics?
? What activities or practices did you find helpful in easing into the dynamic?
? Additionally, if there are any workshops, classes, or events online or in the DMV area focused on D/s and TPE dynamics, I'd love to hear about them.

Miki​(masochist female) • Apr 12, 2024

Never in a dynamic. I was always a "fly by night" session person, out the door the next day. But I can speak to introducing partners to this. First make sure they're into it to begin with. No Good if you Gotta Force It"--- you indicated he had a twisted side but will it go deep enough to make you happy??

If all lights are green then you both can explore subject matter on the topic. As I never went beyond the Casual I can't help you there, but sooner or later someone in here may have advice and pointers. I also think this site has articles and references to many topics in the BDSM realm.

Good luck!

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Apr 13, 2024

Ditto Miki.

It's not the same for everyone, but for me "role play" is a non-starter. This is real for me, not "play" ( i know, i did say it's not the same for everyone lol, role play simply doesn't work for me). For me, D/s, TPE, and any kink i might have, it first must be mutual. So "introduction" would be more like discovering a desire or need that is already there vs creating it.

The reason for me is because the relationship is about connecting and bonding mutual need/desire. It's symbiotic. Lots of relationships have a strong quid-pro-quo basis, where a mate will do for us because we want it, not because they do. To me, that defeats a big part of the purpose if the lust/need is one sided.

Discovery? Perhaps find some porn that has what you are looking for and show it to him and see how he responds(the non commercial, irl vids are far better than the so called professionally produced stuff... again, that's "role play"). Guys are pretty easy to gauge. Many guys are not very articulate or practiced in sharing deeper feelings, but their penis is a good meter. If He gets hard and his breathing ramps up, you've discovered something.