| Kittymoon |
6 years ago •
Apr 16, 2018
New sub and need help
Hi there! I mainly started this profile so I could get some feedback on what I should do. I’m so new to this world and community but i fully believe that I should be apart of it. I’m in a relationship but I want to move more into dom/sub role and try it out sexually. I want him to take more control and to be more aggressive. Even with the small stuff like choking he doesn’t seem to be into. I always have to ask him to do things and it’s never to the extent I want it to be. For instance I had to pull and squeeze his hand around my throat to get the intensity I was looking for. I want to be open about it but I’m particularly nervous he won’t want to try this new experience or will even like it. He didn’t seem to like me choking myself with his hand lol. I’m open to ideas or just general support. I honestly don’t have anyone in my life I feel comfortable enough talking about sexually that isn’t considered “normal”. If anything this is my own therapy of getting it off my chest...
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Online now
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GrimmOryx(sub female){Maiden's S}
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6 years ago •
Apr 16, 2018
Have you had an open and honest conversation with your partner about everything you’re looking for? To begin with, communication is key. If it helps, lay it all out in writing. Things you definitely want to do, things you would like to explore eventually, and things you have no interest in. You may need to compromise and start very small until he’s comfortable.
If he isn’t at all interested in exploring it (he may not be), then you need to decide whether your current partner is right for you and if it’s something you’re willing to live without. |
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GrimmMaiden(dom female){GrimmOryx}
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6 years ago •
Apr 16, 2018
I'd suggest you talk to him openly about it. And include the "why" behind your interest. Perhaps you think it's sexy when he takes control of your body. It really turns you on when he makes it clear he's in charge in the bedroom. A lot of people have BDSM confused with what is believed in mainstream land. They see it as someone pulling a latex clad person by a leash or putting a bit or gag in their mouth and abusing them. Things that do happen in BDSM but aren't everyone's thing. Tell him what you're into and why. Ask him if he'd be willing to step into it slowly, with an open mind, and see what he thinks. Talk about limits. Yours, and in this case, especially his. Find out how he feels about performing the things you'd like. Start only with the ones he's willing to explore.
If you can't quite seem to get on the same page, you need to decide how much weight that holds in the relationship. Can you be happy with him and without those BDSM things. If you have questions, I'm always available. |
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| Kittymoon |
6 years ago •
Apr 16, 2018
Thank you! Those are some questions I need to answer myself. I haven't actually slowed down and ask myself why I want to make this change and why it's important to me. Thank you!
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FabSeverus(dom male)
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6 years ago •
Apr 17, 2018
Choking is not a small stuff! choking is a very intense but also dangerous play. It really need to be done y someone whos in control and know how to do it, when to stop, not too much pressure etc...
What you want is scary for vanilla people, and you might lose him if you dont talk about why you need this in your relationship. unfortuanely you cant force someone to be a Top/Dom. |
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