genderfication

genderfication

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

You know, if nothing else, I believe I exist to evolve. When I see people concerned about something I might be dismissive about, I challenge myself to understand their concerns. I see a lot of people here concerned about genderfication and feeling excluded because op's and bloggers are only interested in one gender's perspective and aren't open to another gender expressing theirs. Does it make someone a misogynist if they only care about a man's point of view and don't respect a woman's? If a lesbian asks people to share their cunnilingus techniques and only honors female responses, is she a misandrist?

I am a boomer. I grew up with very defined gender roles and stereotypes and a lot of bigotry. I've watched the world evolve from the days when "girls were girls and men were men" and even if I were one who preferred a dynamic with traditional gender roles, I would respect those who live differently, identify differently and believe differently than me. I don't exclude people different from me. In fact, I find I have a lot to learn from them. To dismiss someone else's perspective because of their gender is just wrong.

Do you see genderfication here? Are you concerned about it? What do you think should be done?

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

*genderization is the more accurate word I believe.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

Good morning. Important topic worthy of discussing in a civilized fashion in its own heading, not splashed upon someone else's forum feed or upon their blog comment. And I concur - genderization is the more accurate term in this case.

Interesting term you use with regards to the time we grew up: "a lot of bigotry". As defined by Merriam Webster to be "obstinate or intolerant devotion to one's own opinions and prejudices". I would offer that bigotry is much more alive and prevalent today but by many opposing individuals, to include those who consider themselves marginalized. There are many who are marginalized and many more who "feel" marginalized. This leads them to tilt their lance at any windmill they see even with the slightest non-existent provocation.

Long winded diatribe aside, I do see a surge in genderization or perhaps just a focus on genderization recently. Much like you, I would recommend if someone doesn't like a topic or question or title, move on. I do most of the time (I'm not without guilt - sometimes I do step into the mud but I'm often less than human). Not every question or blog is devoted with me in mind (I know - rather shocking to think but it's true) and it doesn't require anyone's participation. I am somewhat concerned about it, but I'm hoping it will simply subside and the nastiness will go away. Sadly, those who are causing it probably believe themselves to be the hero in their own story.

Thank you for bringing this question to the forefront. I hope it is received in a civilized fashion and that you are not vilified for your perspective.

Have an excellent day!
LL

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

The main problem is we are seeing a sliding backwards of gender freedom, particularly here in the US. Current political and religious extremes are trying to say "Women should be barefoot (that part does not bother me so much), pregnant and in the kitchen!"

Of course, women (which make up 51% of the world population) take offence at this. Then when they voice their opinion, the men get don their wifebeater shirts and cry "You are being mean to me!"

Times are a change'n and while we don't have to accept it, it is going to change anyway. Our generations are going to die off and the world is going to keep going on.

Personally, I love getting to see history in the making.

Or maybe it should be Herstory....

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 19, 2024

I simply believe one may respond or not respond as they see fit, not just gender.

If I only want to talk to women, or men-that's my choice and I reject labels such as "misogynist" just because someone feels that I am supposed to worry about sensitive people in that regard.

So... write to whoever you wish. No one can or should tell you otherwise.
Of course there are those who will anyway, not just on this site. In that event, especially if someone applies labels trying to shame you into being, as they used to say, all "PC" just because that's the current, nauseating trend.

Not a "boomer"-- but I still believe in well defined gender roles, as far as I see it for myself.
Other opinions will vary.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

Hey TD,

Without agreeing or disagreeing with your response, how does it apply to genderization and the question posed by IOM? I'm legitimately asking and not trying to be obtuse nor inflammatory. I respect your opinion.

If a female of this community asks a general question of men, because that is where her mind goes, but doesn't say "chicks need not answer" - and she is vilified by other women - this doesn't "feel" like the problem you are pointing out. I guess that's the inherent issue though - someone "feels" they are being excluded by the very question asked, because the question asked didn't specifically "include" them or more probably because they don't like the OP. Regardless of the foundation for this Forum post, back on point.

We are in a community of many, many likes and desires and enjoyments, and definitely not all of them are for all of us. But how are we to learn or grow if we cannot have open, frank discussions without worrying about offending someone. Some women and men are into a specific type of racial or even sex oriented interaction and they say so on their profile - but that is their definite preference and we should respect that. If they ask a general question along those lines in the Forum to see how many others in our community might be supportive or into that particular kink or persuasion, I wouldn't say they are being exclusionary so much as they are seeking like-minded kinksters to talk about their kinks. So do we need to police every forum post to ensure each post is specifically worded to include every possible concept of humanity without ignoring a single one?

I support with my last breath everyone's rights to aspire to the best life ever for themselves as they see it. My vision on how they see their life doesn't matter. I have nieces and nephews who are intelligent and hardworking and will shape the future and I want all of them to enjoy their best lives ever. I don't want any of them limited for the simple fact that they are male or female, or mostly white (we've got a little mix in us but it's impossible to see). In the end though, not everyone has to be included in a discussion or a question and we shouldn't be policing others for the way they use their words.

Unless of course they are intently and openly being . . . -ist. Whether that is racist, sexist, homophobist, or whatever -ist might be. If they are, point it out to Admin and step back. I caveat that statement: just because there is a disagreement doesn't mean anyone is being an -ist. In some cases, individuals or groups are calling "homophobes" or calling others "transphobes" in a very weaponized way to silence discussion or dissenting opinions.

Hopefully my response is received in the way I intend it. Civilized discussion. I'm trying to learn even as silver as I am. I've reconsidered the definition of gender as opposed to sex as it's applied today and will put a great deal of thought into how I see the term used and how I use it. That's a start.

Oh and cute little fact on the term "history"- It's derived from the Greek term "histor" or "istor" which means knowing or learned. It further evolved through Latin to histoire and became the English word "histoire". Apparently today we ignore the meanings and etymology of words to fashion them to how we feel. Perhaps it should be "ourstory" instead and do away with any genderization. (Trying and failing to put up a smiling emoji)

Thank you for the discussion!

lambsone • Aug 19, 2024

Here's a question for you:

If genderification is such a social sin, then why does the cage staff have separate categories in the Forums for:

Femdom
Maledom
Gay BDSM
Lesbian BDSM
Transgender And Non-Binary BDSM

Are they not guilty of separating the genders and providing exclusive and non-inclusive areas of genderification? These areas are forums not blogs. Some of you believe that if a person posts gender specific questions those kinds should be placed in a personal blog. Yet the cage provides specific places for practically everyone except for those of us who are Straight and Hetero.

I find no specific forum area for those of us who are straight/hetero and want to know the mind of the opposite sex that they will be interacting with. So when we post gender specific questions in the forums, we are called all kinds of names, forced to be re-educated, talked down to, other lifestyles forced down our throats, bullied, disrespected, harassed, made to feel like monsters, our characters called into question, told we are whining or policing when we want to keep our post on track to get some dam relevant answers, told we are antiquated, told we are hurting other people's feelings, told to post our questions in our personal blog when non-straight/hetero people don't have to do that, and on and on and on. Talk about HATE SPEECH!

Those of you who are so sensitive about your own feelings don't give a rats ass about the feelings of those you are accusing of hurting your feelings. And God help us all if we end up seeing WWIII, because war doesn't care about feelings. Those of you who are so adamant about feelings getting hurt wouldn't last 5 minutes in a situation like that.

I ask you is it fair for all genders to post their questions without harassment except for straight/hetero? Since I came to the cage, 10 of my forum posts have been criticized. Mostly by a certain group of submissives and only a few males gleefully joining in and making fun of me and others. Many of my posts have been turned into battlefields. And I'm not the only one who has been treated this way. Many have been run off the cage by several of you making nasty assumptions about them and not being accepting of them much less even considering what they have to say. As much as you cry for acceptance from everyone else, you are loath to give the same courtesies in return. You want it all your own way or you aren't happy and God help the person who deviates from that. You harass them until they comply or leave the cage.

When people get offended by anyone else's posts, it is because they CHOOSE to be offended. And how can any post possibly not offend someone? It is impossible to not offend 100% of the people on the planet. We are as diverse as the stars in the sky or the grains of sand in the sea. At least in my 72 years on the planet, I've never seen it done. Not even God can do that and He's perfect whether you believe He exists or not. I've been told and I've heard others be told "you do you". Yet those same people refuse to accept you when are doing you. Liars!!! YOU are the bigots.

Some of you need to quit getting your panties in a wad when someone posts something you don't like, are offended by, or you think is excluding you when they want a reply from specific people/genders on a specific topic. And you need to stop treating others like they are nothing but a piece of shit. I have never harassed anyone as I have been harrased. Oh yes I called a certain person a Liar recently because their idealistic speech to save the community from more conflict did not match their actions. I'm a creep, lowlife, monster for doing that.

Thank you Intenseoldman for putting this topic in it's own post.

lambsone • Aug 19, 2024

Just a word if clarification about my response. It took me a long time to pull together my thoughts in my response. Once I pushed the send button and came up for air, I saw that others had responded in a far more diplomatic way than I had.

I apologize for changing the tone of this thread, and hope that by airing my own feelings this will not interrupt the far more intelligent conversations that have been occurring without my knowledge. And hindsight being 20/20, should have probably put this in my personal blog instead. I hope you all can forgive my lapse in judgement.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Aug 19, 2024

Lycan,

My response fits in with the OP because I see it as pressure from certain political influences and religious institutions, gender has become a rather hot topic of late.

They want us to return to "traditional" roles and because of the upcoming generations, that argument is not going so well. We, as a society, are moving away from such arguments, and frankly, some people are not handling that very well.

This is showing up in all kinds of places on the internet, and Cage is no exception.

As lambsone pointed out, the forum subsections are rather limited in their division. Frankly, there should be some overhaul of subthreads, but the main fault lies in the fact that posters do a piss poor job of choosing where to list their posts.

The second fault lies in people posting and not getting the responses they like. But again, that is the internet. Shitposting happens all the time and Cage is as subsettable it, as FB, reddit or anywhere else in our electronic world.

Communication is an art. Writing more so.

Looking for a specific, gender related answer really isn't going to happen anymore due to the fact that all genders, religious beliefs, political affiliations, ad nauseum, are going to see it and respond how they see it and how it fits their world view.

Now me, I don't give a shit how people post or respond. Provided they follow the rules of a given website, (including Cage), they can post that middle aged Grandmas should only wear green clogs.

They should not get mad when I say "I don't like green".

lambsone • Aug 19, 2024

Sorry tried to edit my original post but it didn't work.