Experience

Experience

House Talion​(dom male) • Sep 28, 2024

Wether you've been here a while or it's your first day, what has your experiences shown you about this lifestyle and the ppl of it's community?

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Sep 28, 2024

That I can learn from the newest members and still have something to offer the oldest as long as we keep an open mind and show respect.

It's also shown me that some people are so passionate about their own perspective that they often disrespect others, which saddens me. Not every feeling is based upon fact. Sometimes it's simply based upon where we stand at that moment.

And probably I need to lay off the coffee and drink more Green Tea.

TwinkleEyes{N/A} • Sep 28, 2024

I’ve been on and off here for just over 8 years. I’ve had good, bad, and everything in between. Due to my own actions and that of others. At this point whether or not I have a positive experience is up to me.

When I originally came on I wasn’t even allowed to chat in the chat room. A Master told me to be a good girl and…. sit, listen, be quiet, learn, and I may find someone to take me on as a submissive. 😂

At one point I loved this place passionately. 6 years ago this December is the anniversary of when I started bringing friends, coworkers, and others from different platforms. I stopped this summer because several came to me asking why I had brought them to such a genophobic place. I don’t think it is. Yet they felt unsafe 😿

I have many friends and acquaintances here. We share ideologies on this lifestyle. I’ve had arguments with individuals who have turned friends. Because I for years pop into their inbox with consent with an olive branch.

Most importantly I’ve learned about myself and grown. I left my cult culture a decade ago and have had to work hard on blasting through that ideology and build new ideologies inside myself. Some of the people that helped me the most I met here. And I am humbled by their faith, dedication, and consistency in our friendship to help me grow. Sometimes I’m not easy to deal with given how I grew up. And yet they love and support me still.

This is a community and has its clicks. What community doesn’t? Finding or making a tribe where you fit helps with growth and learning. It has changed over the years and yet I still enjoy it.

House Talion​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2024

I got hardened too fast. This community has far too many bad ppl and needs strong leaders to teach how things should be done as compared to what so many others try with insulence.

Miki​(masochist female) • Sep 29, 2024

"The Lifestyle" as some people call it? (never me-- Sounds closety: "PSST! are you in The Lifestyle?" My reply is always "Which one?" Like the old days when LGBT people had to hide and deny what they do when the shades are down. Such is my perception. Opinions always vary.

However what I "learned" from here or other twisted sites over the years? Nothing. I'm not here to attend classes. I am only here to simply interact on the forums --where I feel I can contribute something useful or relevant-- and of course read/reply the occasional private message.

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I do not believe there should be a "government" of Dollar General "leaders" who, by the sole virtue of doing this shit over a number of years and think they know everything.

The only "regulatory instrument" I respect are the Terms of Service and the moderators / administrators who make sure those rules are adhered to.

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Otherwise... This is the Internet. There are butt-cracks everwhere one looks, not just on kink-friendly sites. It's the wild wild west online and it's very helpful to have a thick skin, be able to put up one's digital dukes as it were and stand their ground, or ignore jerks who talk out of their asses and think robust farts are the voice of knowledgeable authority.

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In short.. "Strong Leaders" in here other than those who own and operate the site? If one of them ever tries to assert self-endowed authority to me, my response would be the same every time: "Eat me."

TwinkleEyes{N/A} • Sep 29, 2024

Aren’t strong leaders and bad people subjective terms? Dependent on what is going on in our own lives? Such as our maturity, happiness, sadness, and stress levels.

I find different people to be leaders at different times. Last year I experienced a sexual assault. Some members from here became a leader to me as I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. They have not been leaders to me in the past.

Last fall there was what I call the blog wars where I observed the community attack a female blogger and blogs were being taken down as soon as they went up. Someone I thought was a leader fell out of that spot for me during that time. They apologized publicly, changed their behavior, and are no longer here very often. Admitting this wasn’t a healthy place for them. They have now become a leader to me again.

Over the years I’ve watched this community grow with an ebb and flow of its needs. Once people couldn’t write forums about depression without them being taken down. Now they can. Females weren’t allowed to talk in chat and now often enough they dominate it. The moderators manage/lead this site better than most I’ve seen over decades of being online.

When I’ve found myself disheartened or behaving badly I’ve stepped away from here knowing that my own perspective is skewed. Maybe that might help your current mood about this place.

Garv​(dom male) • Sep 29, 2024

Ideally we would have good leaders and civil people.
As TwinkleEyes said, It's all subjective.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Sep 29, 2024

TE , what do you mean females weren't allowed to talk in chat please?

fluffypoppet​(sub female){Protected} • Sep 29, 2024

My experience here has been predominantly positive.

Many of the most important people of my life have emerged from this portal.

Not all of my experiences have been purely positive... but, I've learned to tap that block button when needs must.

This has been a place to learn for me. I've learned:
- about myself
- about the lifestyle
- different perspectives
- how to vet others

This site has given me more than any other BDSM community.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for the administrators. It can't be easy to balance the varying needs of such a diverse adult-oriented community.

DidiRN​(sub female) • Sep 30, 2024

In the short time that I have been here, about 6 months, I have learned:
1. People are people and, as such, are imperfect(even when they won't admit it). It doesn't matter if they're kinky or not
2. It's ok to be me
3. I am not as weird as I was made to think I was
4. an understanding of other people's point of view based on their experiences
5. how multi-faceted BDSM truly is, and how I fit into it.

I have made some good friends.