Thought Experiment or Philosophy Question:

Thought Experiment or Philosophy Question:

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jan 27, 2025

Now this may seem like a straw man argument, but it really isn't. It is a question of morality and where one stands within the lifestyle.

You may want to answer or not. I'm not really looking for personal answers but to make people think.

It comes in the form of of an essay question:

The sub/Dom of your Dreams has come up to you wanting a play session. The problem lies in the fact you both are linked to other people. However, those people will never in any way, shape, or form, find out about the play session. No one will ever know.

Do you?

Sweet Minx​(sub female) • Jan 27, 2025

By linked are we to assume that this play session is breaking rules/vows etc within your current dynamic?

Are you essentially asking if disrespecting or cheating on your current partner is an option??

fluffypoppet​(sub female)​{Protected} • Jan 27, 2025

It isn't a problem to be linked to other people.

ENM is a whole thing... big emphasis on the ethical.

Maybe the uninformed partners consented to being uninformed in advance.

Of course, if the uninformed partners are being denied the right to offer informed consent... well... in the lifestyle, you have one of two things: consent or abuse

It is still abuse if you violate the consent of your partner to play with your dream sub/Dom.

That's my 2 cents.

Am I missing something?

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Jan 27, 2025

If it's the sub/Dom of your dreams, but they're with someone else whom they don't want to know that they're playing with you, you're probably not their dream, so, no. It's not worth being disloyal and hurting someone who's good to you. Unless you need another notch in your BDSM belt buckle because that's all it is, or will ever be, for both of you.

SavannahLyn​(sub female)​{~Umbee~} • Jan 27, 2025

Echoing the ENM response. Linkage to others isn't the issue in this thought experiment, it's whether those links have consented in advance. Contextually, it seems as though those two links are being intentionally kept in the dark.

But, it might go further than that.
What is cheating to me, may not be cheating to you.
Are blow jobs sex? (Rhetorical, not going to hijack a thread here)

What i see in this thought experiment is more so a commentary on boundaries. Maybe the outside partners don't consider scening cheating, unless there is sex involved. Or, maybe it isn't a dream scene, unless sex is involved.

So, it all comes down to, where is that line? (at least in my head)

Also, maybe hallpasses for the "dream partner" exist in this theoretical?
(i am sick and under influence of little sleep and cold meds, sorry in advance lol.)

darlingdiana​(sub female)​{MASTER LA} • Jan 27, 2025

Somehow my would have been incorrect to essay form of “no” ended up on Your blog?
i am going to blame my dinosaur iphone…

Regardless, No in short because
1) its just not my nature- to loyal no matter whats on the table
2) i am i don’t believe in whats easy over whats right- there is a cost and im sure we have learned early- the grass really isn’t greener on the other side, so-to-speak.
3) if He is the Dom of my dreams.. why am i with my Own?
4) If im dreaming of others, why haven’t i disclosed this and risked with truth?
5) A few hours of pleasure is not worth giving up what you have at home and if it is- have the grace to ask for release. Slaves especially should be a support to others to take a breath - back away slowly, decide where you should be and remember there is an after cost for everything- or as my Dad used to say “you danced? Well.. pay the piper.” This was young, discovering parties and hungover the next day in plain sight…

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Jan 27, 2025

Short, sweet and simple answer. Nope! No way, no how. I'm with my the sub of my dreams. I collared them for a reason. If your with someone you feel you can "cheat" on, your not with the right person, your making do!!!!

lambsone • Jan 27, 2025

Through the years, I have discovered that the only secret that can be kept is the one you don't tell. Other than that, nothing is 100% secret.

If a person chooses to meet secretly with the one they think is the person of their dreams when they are committed to another (any type of commitment), the other will eventually sense that their partner is distracted. They'll eventually notice little changes in their behavior, and that they don't have their partners whole heart because it's divided. If they pay attention over the long run, they will put the pieces together at some point.

And there are consequences to any of our actions, good or bad. There's always something stupid that can happen even when a person thinks they have planned the most fool proof outing that exists. Someone can show up who just happened to be in the vicinity and knows them, either could have a medical issue and need a hospital and then you're exposed. Dumb stuff like that.

I think if a person is willing to pay whatever consequences their actions bring about then it's their choice to cheat. I personally will never say it's okay, but people do it out of experimentation, curiosity, lust, a struggling marriage, etc. A person can talk themselves into anything if they want it bad enough.

Bunnie • Jan 28, 2025

“The sub/Dom of your Dreams has come up to you wanting a play session. The problem lies in the fact you both are linked to other people. However, those people will never in any way, shape, or form, find out about the play session. No one will ever know.

Do you?”


It’s a pretty straightforward answer for me. No.

Re: Thought Experiment or Philosophy Question:

SoftSoul​(masochist female) • Jan 28, 2025

The sub/Dom of your Dreams has come up to you wanting a play session. The problem lies in the fact you both are linked to other people. However, those people will never in any way, shape, or form, find out about the play session. No one will ever know.

Do you?[/quote]

I would say: Are you out of your freaken mind? Dino Baby Not Mama. ( Baby dino steals the kitchen pan but really a kid pan hits over their head.) That is gonna hurt for a few weeks. One lump or Two.