Informal Dynamic Relationship

Informal Dynamic Relationship

Private Soldier • Aug 5, 2025

Would asking a potential dom ( vanilla dated for 5 years) for their permission allowing for me to kneel down in front of them
an inappropriate question and gesture to ask before doing?

PrincessLemon​(sub female)​{Owned } • Aug 6, 2025

It’s not inherently inappropriate — in fact, it’s a respectful way to approach something that’s meaningful in D/s. Kneeling can carry a lot of symbolism, so asking first gives them a chance to process the meaning behind it and decide if they’re comfortable.

StreamedConscious​(switch male) • Aug 6, 2025

I think this is a lovely offering - but yes as said above - before you get into this sort of play discussions would have been had... to prepare a safe ground for such needs. But what a lovely sentiment and offer for a dominant... Enjoy x

JaredMayer​(dom male) • Aug 6, 2025

A partner asking permission to kneel before me would definitely stir my inner dominant. I agree with others that discussion about kink should have happened before that, but if one or the both of you are inexperienced with D/s and unsure if it is for you, your feelings about this act should reveal a lot.

Bishop • Aug 6, 2025

While I absolutely agree that kneeling before your Dominant can be a very meaningful gesture, something deep and powerful, I have to pause at him only being a “potential Dom.” Do you offer submissive gestures to a Dominant even if you’re not in a D/s dynamic? You may have dated vanilla for 5 years, but being in a D/s dynamic is a whole different level. What are the differences in a vanilla world, to you, between just dating and being in a relationship…what do you do differently?
You are absolutely free to do what is right for you, but I would argue to make such gestures only if you’re in an actual D/s relationship, and have had those conversations. If you’re not His submissive and He isn’t your Dominant, he hasn’t earned your kneeling (in my opinion). Just my two cents.

Lonelybutterfly​(sub female) • Aug 8, 2025

I have a question to add since were talking about dynamics and relationships.
How do you know when your really talking to a Master? Who wants a slave dynamic. I am told that a slave is meant for ownership and to be used as her Master sees fit. She is nothing but a sexual vessel. If you are collared then you become an owned slave by your Master. We have a very good relationship. He is talking about adding more than one slave. I think our relationship needs to be stronger first. He disagrees. So I don't know what to do? Can I get some advice??

Bishop • Aug 8, 2025

That can be a little difficult to answer, there is a lot there to unpack. I would say, first of all, you have to be comfortable with boundaries and your dynamic. If he wants to add another, and you don’t, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. Then again, some believe that a “slave” looses any voice once she is collared (I obviously, disagree). Abuse happens in a relationship when consent is not given and it happens anyway…all people within the dynamic must consent. If the “Master” insists on using his slave as nothing more than a sex object, and the slave does not consent, that to me, is the very definition of abuse. I think a true master would respect his slave’s thoughts and feelings…every dynamic is different, and what is and isn’t allowed/accepted depends on the parties involved. You have to do what is right for you and not compromise your boundaries or limits. I may have a different view of what M/s looks like, but I would absolutely never advocate that the slave loses her voice…even slaves deserve respect. There’s quite a bit more I could add, but I hope I got my general point across.

Re: Informal Dynamic Relationship

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{owned} • Aug 8, 2025

I say “do it”. Approach them and bring up the idea of trying it out. Not setting it in stone but something to try and see how it feels for the both of you. They may be toying with the idea of this or something similar, but not sure how to bring it up.
If it is something you both like you can continue it, still in an informal way. You may love it yet they are excited at first but after some time it might not be their favorite time, then the two of you can discuss the “yays and nays “ if there is a compromise between you both.
Don’t regret not doing something, and live with the wonder .

Heart of Persephone​(sub female)​{owned} • Aug 8, 2025

I want to add- this is your dynamic not anyone else’s, you decide how you want to do things. Read and ask questions but it all ends with how you want it . No one can say you are doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way they are doing it. Try it out. Try what you want. Talk about it. But this is your journey.

Lonelybutterfly​(sub female) • Aug 9, 2025

Thank you to everyone who gave me insight on my question. It really helped me to understand that Consent is vital. This is my journey and no one else's. I make the rules and only go beyond them if I am ready and give permission to.