Bratty sub or topping from the bottom?

Bratty sub or topping from the bottom?

SleepyLex​(sub female) • Nov 6, 2025

I always put my partner’s through a “test” if you will, I push and push their buttons until they give in to me and I top them or, or which has never happened, I’m treated like a bratty sub and punished which satisfies me more. Am I just more dominant leaning and wanting to be a sub or just haven’t met my ideal dom?

House Talion​(dom male) • Nov 6, 2025

You either just love conflict or too dominant to fully submit, but a fist full of hair after youve been bound would show wether youre willing to submit or just keep struggling till youre forced.
Personally I dont like to force what isntnprior consented, hence why I don't usually deal with brats

Anna Lynn​(sub female) • Nov 6, 2025

{”I always put my partner’s through a “test” if you will, I push and push their buttons until they give in to me and I top them or, or which has never happened, I’m treated like a bratty sub and punished which satisfies me more. Am I just more dominant leaning and wanting to be a sub or just haven’t met my ideal dom?-”}

You aren't going to like my response. In fact, I may get roasted for it but I accept that. I've been treated like this before and it is horrible. No one deserves this unless they want it.

Pushing a person’s buttons until they finally get angry and respond is called reactive abuse. Furthermore, it is all about you and not this idea of finding “ the right dom”.
You don't have the right to do that to another person because you have this misguided need to get a reaction out of someone.
Selfish.

Either you want to submit or you don't. It is not anyone elses responsibility nor their duty as a Dominant person to “make” you.

Figure out who you are and what you want and stop putting your burdens on the shoulders of people who don't ask for it.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female)​{🍕+☕} • Nov 7, 2025

I'm a Brat so here is my perspective:

If you push them with the goal of making them give in so you can tell them how to control you, you are topping-from the bottom. My personal opinion is that it's wrong to do unless agreed upon BEFORE it's done.

If you are pushing their buttons to increase their active dominance of you (like turning up the heat on a pot on the stove) till you melt like butter, purring because they hit your joy joy button just right (WITHOUT being directed by you), that's Bratting.

Are Brats submissives? Yes.
Do Brats need a particular type of Dom? Yes.
Do Brats get treated like pariahs by most people on THIS site? Yes.


Examine the goals of your Bratting in the moment to see if you are bratting or just being a bitch (yes, people also claim to be bratting when they are just being a cunt).

Are you dysregulated and are having trouble verbalising your needs?

Are you trying to control the scene?

Are you trying to turn up HIS dominance thermostat in a way that he will eventually enjoy?

Are you ridiculing him to gain a sense of power?

Or are you just teasing to connect with him?

The goal MATTERS.

If you are testing to see if he is safe to play with, to see if he will hurt you....then YOU are the unsafe one. Those discoveries should be made BEFORE you take the clothes off, not after.

magicHands​(dom male) • Nov 7, 2025

"Am I just more dominant leaning and wanting to be a sub or just haven’t met my ideal dom?"

Sorry, I am afraid you are just typical. After two generations of women being told they need to be dominant and do it all on their own we are awash is women in your situation. Being told they have to be in charge even though secretly few women want to take on the weight of being in command and being accountable for everything going on around them. So they secretly ( in a way they can not even say to them selfs ) want to let go of the reins, but do not know how. So they need the reins taken from them.... but the same two generations of men have been told it is evil for them to be anything but passive. Robbing you of what you secretly seek.

You are simply pushing back as hard as you can, for as long as you can. Deperate someone to knock you back in your place and never let you get out of it again..... but there are few men left any more with the will you need to give you the calm and inner peace you crave that you can only feel when you know that you are in fact totally powerless and helpless..... and yet it is the safest you have ever felt.....

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female)​{🍕+☕} • Nov 7, 2025

@Magichands,

It is a common argument, that the rise of feminism has caused the general population of women to take on a role of equality yet once they got it, it had an adverse affect on our ability to submit AND at the same time, emasculated men into being unable to take back their masculine. In some ways, that makes sense, however, I disagree that it applies IN THIS CASE.

Brats have ALWAYS been accused of topping from the bottom, or not being "true" submissives. The truth is that Brats don't CHOOSE to be Brats. It it my hypothesis that it is a sexualization of coping mechanisms that were developed due to abuse as children.

magicHands​(dom male) • Nov 7, 2025

I was not saying she was like that because she liked to take on the brat role. I was saying it sounded very much like that dynamic from her description of her conflicted feelings. The brat role can be caused by manythings/needs.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female)​{🍕+☕} • Nov 7, 2025

I did not read it as her having a single partner, but rather a general discussion about her behavior patterns when she DOES have a partner...

It was an introspective question rather than a request for help.

magicHands​(dom male) • Nov 7, 2025

??? Who said anything about any number of partners? And who said it was not a general disscussion?

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female)​{🍕+☕} • Nov 7, 2025

[quote="magicHands] I was saying it sounded very much like that dynamic from her description of her conflicted feelings.[/quote]

"...that dynamic". Singular. So to answer your question, your word choice implied that you were comparing one singular dynamic with another singular dynamic.