Natrual

Natrual

angelaffliction​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2025

How would you go about making it feel more natural it’s gotten in to such a rut of “hey wanna go play” its still a lot of fun but it takes me longer to get ready if you know what I mean because there is no before get to me all worked up and I’m not talking foreplay I’m talking mentally

Miki • Nov 26, 2025

Umm... Are you talking about what's going on in an established relationship or when you meet people.

It's tough to "get in the mood" and even worse if asked "Wanna go play"? Best thing in both cases is communication, a well-worn but ever applicable word found in here and probably a lot of other sites or situations.

More time-worn expressions

"You gotta wanna"

and

"It's no good if you gotta force it."

The Other Half of the equation needs to know and accept that. But don't worry, sooner or later you'll be ready and you'll know it. Chances are you'll be the one who says, "Let's go play!".

Until then just chill and enjoy other aspects of relationships or just hanging out. Going places, doing stuff watching this, that, or whatever else.

One more cliche: "Simple Simply Works."

Good luck!!

angelaffliction​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2025

It’s with my long term bf and of course I want to go play when asked or he wants to go play when asked it’s just a little bit of a boring intro

House Talion​(dom male) • Nov 26, 2025

I like my approach.
A bit of cuddling, little pecks, grab the hair just to pull her head back and kiss her neck. Then she thinks im just being playful in slap her on the butt, bend her over andnpants her. Tush start to reden before she knows its playtime n I didn't ask.

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • Dec 1, 2025

The dynamic unfolds beautifully when there's a profound, lingering connection that resonates deeply in the mind and soul, allowing you to truly get to know someone and discover if you're on the same wavelength, and yes, that takes time, and that's the most incredible way to connect with someone, but first, let's meet up at a cozy coffee shop for first seeing each other , and see if the energy and chemistry are simply magical, and if not, then we'll know we're not meant to be together.

MidSummerDream​(neither female)​{BothHold🗝} • Dec 30, 2025

Date few weeks going in public until you feel safe but should keep going out doing things for months. Still hold hands write letters and kiss. If you do more later in the bedroom play it safe get tested both , protected safe sex . Sperm spray can get over the counter at any pharmacy for after both clean up
After.

A Cloud​(sub female)​{Owned} • Dec 30, 2025

Personally, I think you both need to explore the mental aspects of your connection and sexuality. That’s everything before any sex or play happens. Communication, trust, openness, and self-awareness are required.

Research, explore, reflect, discuss, experiment, discuss/negotiate.

Know your own desires. And know theirs too. Discuss regularly and explore curiosities/interests. Find inspiration. Keep an open mind but be sure of your non-negotiables. Go slow. Safety first.

There’s soooo many possibilities and so much knowledge out there for enhancing sexual intimacy within relationships. Read and reflect.

Sensation, imagination, stillness and playfulness are my gateways to a sexy state of mind.

Texasdays​(dom male) • Dec 31, 2025

Sometimes planning a scene in advance is a great way to build the anticipation of it.

"Hey, we've never tried..."
"Let's set a date night..."
"Remember when we first met?"

Talking through the scene (get as graphic as you feel comfortable), and let each other know you're looking forward to it.

Dynamic or Vanilla, the best way out of a rut is to remind each other why you enjoy each other so much, and that's always there at the beginning. Just need to find a way to keep it going, and picking back up the thread of flirting, talking, and imagining what's to come is all part of that.

LucyK​(neither male) • Dec 31, 2025

It sounds like you’re describing that feeling when things become routine and the mental spark doesn’t arrive as easily as it used to. That’s actually incredibly common, especially in established relationships where comfort and familiarity slowly replace novelty. The good news is that “natural” doesn’t mean effortless or automatic — it usually means intentional, just not forced.

What you’re pointing out about the mental side is important. Desire often starts long before anything physical happens. Instead of jumping straight to “hey wanna go play,” it can help to rebuild anticipation during the day or even days before. Small moments of connection, shared jokes, light flirting, or even just feeling seen and appreciated can do far more than direct invitations. When your mind feels engaged and relaxed, your body tends to follow.

Communication really is key here, but not in a heavy or clinical way. You don’t have to make it a big “talk.” Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, “I need a bit more buildup,” or “I like when things feel spontaneous instead of scheduled.” A partner who understands that will usually be relieved to have clarity rather than guessing.

Another thing worth remembering is that desire ebbs and flows. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying closeness, affection, or shared experiences without pressure for it to turn into something more. Often, removing the expectation is exactly what allows desire to come back naturally.

Interestingly, this idea of personal comfort and self-expression reminds me of choices people make outside relationships too — like opting for subtle body modifications that feel right for them rather than loud statements. Something like a daith percing is a good example: discreet, intentional, and chosen because it resonates personally, not because it’s expected.

At the end of the day, trust your rhythm. When it feels right, you’ll know — and chances are, it’ll feel far more natural than anything forced ever could.