Owned vs submissive to

Owned vs submissive to

Texasdays​(dom male) • Dec 3, 2025

I have a question that I haven't been able to answer on my own, so I'm hoping that there are a few subs (female, male, trans, or any) here that can lend a hand. It's a question of definition really and how it pertains to different D/s dynamics.

If you are a sub but do not identify or agree with the Master/slave dynamic, why use the term owned?

I don't have any real qualms with the usage, but I don't understand how it transfers to other D/s relationships. I understand it in terms of a contract whether it's for a scene, or a longer term partnership, but in the contracts and usage I have seen the "owned" is property of the Master, and submits entirely to the will of the other. It is a very specific wording, and the property is viewed and treated as just that, property. Not really human, and it's a very specific dynamic that simply isn't for everyone. It can actually be extremely harmful if used improperly.

So, I guess my question is if you are not in favor of the Master/slave dynamic, why use the term owned?

incandescent​(switch gender fluid)​{MAV-IV} • Dec 3, 2025

Ohh I can only answer for myself and my own dynamics that I've had.

So a bit of backstory, I'm usually some sort of service pup. So like a two for one deal. Bunch of the time, you get a service sub and then also a puppy whose content to just be at your feet and soak up your presence.

So for me being owned made sense, because puppies don't really make decisions like that. A puppy doesn't walk up to their possible owner and select them from the lineup. It's the other way round.

While in non sub space, my path and my handler/owner's intersected, discussions and more occurred, boundaries set etc. Owning provides a sense of security and protection. The collar means more than just a collar, it's a symbolization that I'm theirs, that I'm cared for and owned.

So it helps narrow the gap between a puppy headspace that for me can't exist, a puppy can't readily choose who their owner is, and a headspace that does exist.

As a sub, I submit and eventually hope to be owned by them. Not as a piece of property or toy exclusively, but that is capable of making decisions and executing tasks along with being a representation and extension of my Mistress. As a puppy the sort of flipside, where I'm completely dumb, operating on minimal brain power, logic etc so that I can completely recharge for when my ability to think is needed.

I hope that explains it?

Texasdays​(dom male) • Dec 3, 2025

OK, that makes sense and thank you for the very considered response. I see how that works for a pet dynamic and how it can work for you. I appreciate your insite.

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • Dec 3, 2025

Ooh this is a good question.
I do not class myself as a slave although I have alot of slave tendencies. But I am high protocol submissive and could serve a Master well.
I think for me when I enter a dynamic i would want it to be 24/7 TPE.
I do not wish to have control that is something that i give to him for him to use as he feels fit.
So I guess in my eyes when I give myself to him and submit he is the one who owns me.
I hope that makes sence I tend to ramble alot.

Texasdays​(dom male) • Dec 3, 2025

Oooooh, this is definitely skirting the edge of the Master/slave dynamic, but I understand that's not how you view yourself. Keeping the humanity while also in a TPE dynamic makes sense though. I personally really love a TPE dynamic whether it's for a limited time, or how it's worked as a full time lifestyle for people. High protocol is a great way to keep the discipline/praise going on a consistent basis as well with so many pitfalls like forced failure. It also seems to be the crux of my question as well. You serve a Master, but retain your identity as a High Protocol sub. Even in a TPE dynamic, the identity is retained. "I am this" for example. However in my mind being owned is a complete surrender of all, "You are what I want you to be". Today you are a slave, tomorrow you are a dog, next week you are a chair. Maybe we just don't have the language really to differentiate between the two effectively.

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • Dec 3, 2025

I think one does not have difine themselves to a exact role to be who they are.
To me TPE is the only way
I do jot seek reward or praise.
To me those are given in knowing I have pleased, I need no more
I thrive on routine structure protocol etiquette it's my happy place.
Bring who I am when I submit it is full surrender hence why it takes a certain type of Dominant with me.
I would quiet happily be what ever my Dominant requested or required of me when ever he required.
Maybe I simply do not claim slave as I hold it in such high regard.

Texasdays​(dom male) • Dec 3, 2025

I wholeheartedly agree. Please be true to yourself, and seek what you need to be happy. Again, I have no qualms with anyone using the term owned in any kind of D/s dynamic. It just seemed odd to me that it's the language that has been adopted. Thank you very much for your input on it though. I really like when these topics get some real thoughtful discussion. It's so refreshing to get some real answers that are thought through.

NarahPrimal​(sub female) • Dec 3, 2025

I understand why you struggle with it sometimes especially when people do not understand the depth of what a true dynamic is or what the lifestyle stands for

incandescent​(switch gender fluid)​{MAV-IV} • Dec 3, 2025

I would say there is not “one true way”.

There’s so many ways to experience kink and power dynamics. None of us usually fit into one box cleanly. Plus we each have different ways that we tick, different psychological buttons to be pressed, levers to be pulled.

Their question is a wonderful one that invites introspection and caring answer.

Texasdays​(dom male) • Dec 3, 2025

No, I agree. Everyone has their own path and each dynamic is unique to the people in it. I just enjoy other's input and consideration. If I were to "own" a submissive, my expectation would probably be quite different from yours, or someone else's. It would probably be a unique individual where our definition of that term coincided. I have had lasting D/s relationships, played in play groups, and trained some people new to the lifestyle in different aspects, but I have never claimed ownership and it hasn't been requested of me. I have definitely been with people I have referred to as my sub, and they reciprocated in kind, but ownership was never a part of it and we were OK with that.