Hello l am very new to being a slave, my potential Mistress wants several hundred dollars prior to our first meeting/training session to acquire equipment, we have never met except send emails over 3 days, is this acceptable or normal demands from a potential Mistress
My best advise would be to trust your gut. If you think its "weird" or "wrong" to give someone several hundred dollars before you meet then don't do it. If you are paying for a pro then that is another story, or if shes a findom. Me personally I won't write a check before I meet someone.
No it's not normal. Giving a stranger on the internet money - really? Come on. Don't let your desire for a mistress make you act foolishly. If she's a legit professional dominant she will have clearly outlined rates and services on a website or elsewhere. Otherwise it's simply trolling/extorting. Look all over youtube and elsewhere. There are tons of so called 'mistresses' who have made this a part time (or full time) job, exploiting people who want a fantasy version of a female dominant. Stop taking shortcuts to getting a mistress, join local communities or participate in online forums like THE CAGE in order to get to know people on a personal basis. Via that hopefully you will make a personal connection and find yourself a dominant. If that's a bit too full on for you, go to a proper, experienced pro domme in your area and book a session for some no strings attached, clearly negotiated fun.
Unless of course, you get off on being exploited. And some people do. *shrugs*
All of that being said, money is a form of power and does play a part in some D/s relationships. But I'd advise anyone to do this only in a well established, trusting relationship with someone who actually cares about you and your well being. Not some stranger who just wants to soak you for whatever he or she can.
Unfortunately sites like this and unfortunately this site are Crawling with these Vile creatures wanting Money for so called equipment before You meet, the other one that these unscrupulous Louses want is for You to Join a site to show Your devotion to them and to show that You are in a relationship with them, (How You can be in a relationship when You've never met them is Beyond me)...
The site that they usually want you to join (though I did think that it was legit) is Alt.com for some reason, I don't know if they get commission or what?
Let me say to You, any Real Dominant that is not Professional would never lower themselves in my experience to ask for money or make You waste money on a pay site just so that You can say that you are with them!
Any Professional Mistress might ask You for a deposit before meeting You because they get messed around with so often, but they will make it plain and clear why they want the money and will tell you that it will be taken from the bill in the end..
These Cockroaches who do ask for money and the like are just Scammers, most of them are probably Men and even if they aren't You'll never ever meet them, believe me!
I can honestly say that despite ways that sites like this have of weeding them out I get more people who aren't real asking for money than real people I meet, I have actually had two contact me today alone!
They waste time and really do make you feel that no one is real anymore, I hate them with a vengeance and my advice is to report anyone who asks for money to the Moderators (like Evangeline) perhaps eventually they will get the message and F**k Off as they are ruining these sites that are here for us and do a Great Job, it's so sad that these Cockroaches are here and everywhere else feeding off us, there really SHOULD be a Law against them, they are SCUM!
I am going to start naming and shaming them soon so keep a lookout!
Oh, also, if there is someone without a profile, that should tell you something!!
I Hope you find what You are looking for!
I haven't read the other replies on this so forgive me if I am repeating what others have said.
Is this normal? I sure hope not!
Love yourself as a person. DO NOT give anyone money. You haven't met yet. If you meet and decide things will progress. Maybe she will take you with her to shop. I have no idea. If you are paying for a service that is different. You can also buy your own toys to be used only on you. Just some thoughts.
I'm a little late to this discussion, but had a couple of comments.
First, Jonny, you're wise to ask, and as many other have said, not normal and probably a good idea to stay clear. Something else you'll see are the submissives who want to relocate for you (often right off the bat), but, need money to travel. I would avoid financing anyones travel plans to move to your city.
And, another word of warning about scammers. Financial professionals will tell you to never share your online banking log on credentials with anyone. Most online banking systems these days have the ability to do bank to bank transfers, so, if they get access to your accounts, could send money to themselves.
@ slutboymartin - please let us know if you have anyone trolling you for money making schemes, etc. We are working hard to remove these people from the site asap as we understand how much it can impact your experience. Just contact myself or Cage Monkey with details and we'll get on it right away.
@ Nemo - glad you mentioned the male dominant prospective. It's not just submissives who get fleeced and you've given good advice for anyone, dominant or submissive.
Thanks for that, I've actually had Two people (You don't know whether They are male or Female) as You know, this week!
Its so annoying & actually Hurtful to be honest because i am Genuinely looking for someone to share my life as I've told You before, You write pages and pages of emails through the message system and then through Personal Emails You actually think that You are getting somewhere with them, start liking them and really thinking that some form of relationship could start from it and then, my Nursing Degree is finishing at the end of the month but I don't know what to do, my family are parasites and they wont give me the money for the certificates so please send me $800 for them..
Hope you are well...Thanks!
I've spoken to someone in emails for two weeks, given them my life story, told them from the beginning that I am so sick of "People" asking me to join ALT.COM with a "Special" name so that everyone knows that I am Her slave or the other one of Buy this kit, you have to buy it now before we meet from Extreme Restraints.com, but don't worry cos I will get You a "Special Discount" when You give them my name... BLAH BLAH.. The thing is Evangeline is that as fast as You would Ban them they would just open another account with a different name, They are a SCURGE on the internet now, I swear that all the people I have talked to on here, Fetster, Collarme and other sites only about 5% have been genuine people, it's atrocious as I know that You in particular must worlk very hard to keep this site up and running, the only way that I can see that this could really be sorted out is not to ask for money becoming a pay site (as they are just as bad as most Women get to join for free due to the Female to male ratio) but to maybe ask for a credit Card and asking only to verify it by taking say 10 pence out of the account, then if they were Barred You would be able to have their REAL NAME and stop them re-joining obviously after you have been given REAL Evidence of their Torturous Work which is obviously scamming people and getting commission from ALT.com and Extreme Restraints (Both of which I thought were pretty legitimate companies in the past but I would not go near them with a Barge Pole now!!
I Really am so sick of it though, because I am so actively looking for someone after being alone now for 2 years it's Horrible, timewasting, sickening and to be honest is making me feel like giving up my search entirely, I work from home, live in an area where I know no-one and don't drive, I feel that i'm just stuck here wasting my time even trying on the internet too now, I thought there was at least a small chance this way but now.....No, Not Really..
If You do want me to supply names and even the pages of emails I have sent these vicious Criminals (Cos, that IS what they are) I will gladly do so...
Thanks for running a Good service, its In NO WAY Your fault, but there Must be a way of getting rid of scum like these..