Turning a vanilla relationship into a d/s relationship

Turning a vanilla relationship into a d/s relationship

Toxictiger99​(sub male) • Jul 17, 2018

I need advice on my current relationship. In the beginning it was fairly vanilla but here recently she has started calling me sir. And i have addressed her as little one. She claims shes not into a full d/s relationship and I dont wanna push her but i can tell that she loves my dominance towards her and she definitely can be submissive.

DamCx​(dom male) • Jul 17, 2018

It happened to me too, once. What you can do is slowly increase the d/s part of your relationship, so you can also see her limits, as she might only see this as a game.

UnrulyNerdGirl​(sub female) • Jul 17, 2018

I think the best is to sit down and see what’s shes feeling, where she is at. Maybe she wants to go further, but not deep. Maybe she needs to explore and see what feels right for her. Best advice, be a little vulnerable, listen to what she has to say, and walk together down the path.

SubforHim​(sub female) • Jul 18, 2018

Many many many conversations. My current relationship started vanilla and because of the taboo placed on bdsm, it was difficult to have those conversations at first. I knew it was something he would enjoy and I easily picked up on the little signs like you seem to be doing as well. It just takes time and patience. Trail and error.

It sounds like once you break through a few barriers that may be present for her (for whatever reason) it is absolutely possible to have a D/s relationship on some level. But go into it with the understanding that if she ultimately isn’t into the lifestyle, you have to be prepared for that as well.

FlipSide1481​(dom male) • Jul 19, 2018

As has been said by the previous commenters a lot of conversations will be had about ALOT of topics. Making sure that she knows where to find information on her own (https://submissiveguide.com,etc) and being willing to really work together to develop Open, Honest, and Forthright communication. Ask her about everything... And encourage her to ask you about anything, and to search out her own sources of information.
Finally be honest about what you want out of the relationship and ask her to be as well
I hope this is helpful and not condecending.
Most importantly enjoy enjoy exploring together.