| Geekylegion(sub male) |
5 years ago •
Aug 6, 2018
advice needed
I've recently entered into a relationship with a sub woman. I want to try being Dom but have no idea where to or how to go about this. Can anyone give me advice on how i should go about this?
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Online now
Beastly(dom male){Not Lookin}
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5 years ago •
Aug 6, 2018
Talk to her! What are her expectations vs yours and go from there.
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Taramafor(sub male)
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5 years ago •
Aug 6, 2018
@Beastly
Communication is obvious. But there are... steps to take to become a good dom/sub in general. It actually follows slimier lines of being a good person. With a bit of variation. If you want to be a good sub then you have to lead by example and know when it's important to not follow orders because some things are more important then "Do only as you're told". If it subtracts from your and their happiness for example. If you want to be a good dom don't make it about "Your time alone". Make sure you take care of the sub and that they're not neglected just because you're in control. Honestly, it's like a relationship in general for the most part. This dives into "styles". Perhaps the best advice I got is to take things like "anger" and "fear" and put them to positive and constructive use. We live in a world where things are thought (and experienced) to be "only bad". But there's always two sides and it depends on the situation and company. D/s, at the end of the day, is a power exchange. One nudges more then the other of course but it's all "give and take". Give to their needs so they can with yours. If you like "cuddling it up" and they like "raking their nails down along your back" then don't just think "do them separately for each other". Also think "Both at once". Like movie nights? I like other things. We can do one and then the other or both at once. Simply keep "plenty of both for each others happiness" in mind and practice doing what the other enjoys. Even if you're "good" at it at first you will be through repetition. "always try for each other" and be consistent and the rest falls into place. While reassuring each other that you're better then you give yourself credit for (giving advice and criticism where it's needed). Works when someone "doubts themselves as a dom" and works when someone "Is hard on themselves in general". Sometimes it can be both. All I know is reassurance is key. On both sides of the fence. |
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Taramafor(sub male)
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5 years ago •
Aug 6, 2018
Typo correction. "Not good at it at first". There are times we can "suck at looking after another" and yet get better and improve through repetition and consistency.
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FabSeverus(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Aug 6, 2018
Ok?
Why did you want to do it if you don’t know how to do it or what to do? What kind of relationship you have? What kind of dominance do you want? What type of dom are you? What type of sub is your partner? Thousands of questions that you should have ask yourself then maybe we could help you |
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