Villanelle(staff)
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7 years ago •
Jan 6, 2017
7 years ago •
Jan 6, 2017
This is a topic discussed a lot among my femdom friends. A couple of things come to mind...
-most bdsm in the media represents the M/f dynamic. Books, videos, seminars, educational events most often refer to the dominant as 'him' and the submissive as 'her'. Because of this, many young or inexperienced women exploring their kinky interests automatically assume the sub role. In time many discover they enjoy being dominant but initially never thought it was an option. This is why representation and visibility is so important for female dominants. It's also important for male submissives. Consider being more open about your interests. It doesn't mean you're less virile, powerful, or intelligent. It just means you enjoy female power and isn't that sexy as hell? Besides, it might mean a female dominant approaches YOU. It's hard to find you if you aren't visible.
-femdoms get trolled LOADS any time they are active online or in local communities. For this reason some ladies are less forthcoming about their D/s orientation until they get to know you. It's tiring getting constantly asked by strangers, "will you be my mistress?". Yawn.
-I sadly have to say that threats and harassment are a large part of being visible as a female dominant. I've been threatened, stalked, etc. just because of how I identify. It's threatening to those who feel a powerful woman somehow threatens their manhood. Of course powerful, intelligent men (dom or sub) enjoy powerful, intelligent women (dom or sub) and are happy to encourage and support women however they choose to explore their sexuality.
-Communities are often glutted by pay for play scams which can be hard to sift through to find sincere individuals. We're constantly working to remove trolls and scammers from THE CAGE. We need your help with this so please report it to me or Assaf if you see someone trolling/promoting pay sites, etc.
I get how DrWacko came up with his estimated statistics. I don't necessarily disagree with them on a surface level. But I don't think it's so much that female dominants are rare unicorns. I think we're everywhere, but many have their reasons for being less visible while some perhaps lack the confidence to fully explore their desires. I'm a big promoter of femdom and hope we'll get a nice balance of male and female dominants in this community.
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