Which do you prefer?

Which do you prefer?

Bunnie • Sep 16, 2018

Love and devotion based submission vs obligatory dutiful submission... which do you prefer, and why?

DomInHawaii​(dom male) • Sep 16, 2018

I'm going to go for the love and devotion based option. My feeling is that if the sub cares deeply about the dom, they will work harder to please the dom, they will enjoy the process more, and there will be stronger emotional bond between the dom and sub.

SilentMaster​(dom male) • Sep 17, 2018

Love and devotion based submission. The sub is free and voluntarily decides to submit, not because as a sub should submit to a dom but because wants to submit and give everything to that particular dom, that's what makes the relationship more valuable. In this case a stronger connection will be developed that will possibly last for longer time and be more intense than if it was just for obligation due to an agreement between dom and sub.

Fudbar​(dom male)​{❤️❤️❤️} • Sep 17, 2018

I'm not sure it's binary, Bun.

Surely obligation and duty should have love at their root, or else it's nothing more than a job or a task.

And just as surely, submission that springs from love and devotion should make even the hardest duties and most committed obligations feel lighter knowing why you do them.

Re: Which do you prefer?

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Sep 17, 2018

If I have to pick JUST one and its an either or situation. Great post Bunnie! Love stuff that makes me think and navel gaze.


Love and devotion will win out for me every time. Love makes everything a little sweeter. I tend to think, based on 24/7 relationship models, when I think BDSM, rather than scene based (not that either is better). But saying that, I don't need to love the person to Dominate them or still feel dominant, if it is not my primary and its a poly situation. So yeah! Clear as mud hey? LOL To answer clearly for me, it depends on the person and the "position" I need them to have within my life, that makes it harder to just choose one over the other.

@Fud, would you say your reply (that its binary) is because your poly in nature? Just wondering for others if its so cut clear or if Poly does hypothetically muddy the waters.

Sassyfox​(sub female) • Sep 17, 2018

I will always choose Love and devotion base on submission mainly because it's real; real love, real needs, real desire, real feelings. Obligation is like owing a debt and we know how that goes you may or may not receive payment depending on the person.

Re: Which do you prefer?

Fudbar​(dom male)​{❤️❤️❤️} • Sep 17, 2018

Hrm...I was arguing that it WASN'T binary, and that both should and do have love at their base. I suppose seeing and wanting that is poly in a way, but I hadn't considered the question in that framework. I was thinking of my preference, and that for many, the obligation and duty in service based submission is something they truly love.

SubforHim​(sub female) • Sep 17, 2018

Love and devotion based...for me is a must. With that love, submission comes extremely natural for me. The connection is so much stronger and more powerful.

Re: Which do you prefer?

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Sep 18, 2018

thanks for the reply Fudbar, always great to read how others see things. I can see now after re reading that I miss read you re the binary. Sorry about that.

LordofPain56 • Sep 18, 2018

I personally do not prefer a Master/slave relationship. God gave everyone free will for a reason. So they could choose to ride shotgun with Satan or choose the love of God instead. That is how God knows who will be translated into His kingdom. In case you never noticed, the Bible always showed that God was displeased when people took away individual freedoms (particularly where rulers forced worship of one false god or another upon it's citizens). That is why the founding fathers of the U.S. Constitution chose to keep church and state separate.
I personally prefer a Master/sub relationship based upon mutual love and respect.